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- Федор Достоевский
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- Преступление и наказание
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- Стр. 434/453
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“
Oh
,
Rodya
,
hush
!
”
cried
Dounia
bitterly
.
Silence
lasted
for
two
minutes
.
He
sat
with
his
eyes
fixed
on
the
floor
;
Dounia
stood
at
the
other
end
of
the
table
and
looked
at
him
with
anguish
.
Suddenly
he
got
up
.
“
It
’
s
late
,
it
’
s
time
to
go
!
I
am
going
at
once
to
give
myself
up
.
But
I
don
’
t
know
why
I
am
going
to
give
myself
up
.
”
Big
tears
fell
down
her
cheeks
.
“
You
are
crying
,
sister
,
but
can
you
hold
out
your
hand
to
me
?
”
“
You
doubted
it
?
”
She
threw
her
arms
round
him
.
“
Aren
’
t
you
half
expiating
your
crime
by
facing
the
suffering
?
”
she
cried
,
holding
him
close
and
kissing
him
.
“
Crime
?
What
crime
?
”
he
cried
in
sudden
fury
.
“
That
I
killed
a
vile
noxious
insect
,
an
old
pawnbroker
woman
,
of
use
to
no
one
!
.
.
.
Killing
her
was
atonement
for
forty
sins
.
She
was
sucking
the
life
out
of
poor
people
.
Was
that
a
crime
?
I
am
not
thinking
of
it
and
I
am
not
thinking
of
expiating
it
,
and
why
are
you
all
rubbing
it
in
on
all
sides
?
‘
A
crime
!
a
crime
!
’
Only
now
I
see
clearly
the
imbecility
of
my
cowardice
,
now
that
I
have
decided
to
face
this
superfluous
disgrace
.
It
’
s
simply
because
I
am
contemptible
and
have
nothing
in
me
that
I
have
decided
to
,
perhaps
too
for
my
advantage
,
as
that
.
.
.
Porfiry
.
.
.
suggested
!
”
“
Brother
,
brother
,
what
are
you
saying
?
Why
,
you
have
shed
blood
?
”
cried
Dounia
in
despair
.
“
Which
all
men
shed
,
”
he
put
in
almost
frantically
,
“
which
flows
and
has
always
flowed
in
streams
,
which
is
spilt
like
champagne
,
and
for
which
men
are
crowned
in
the
Capitol
and
are
called
afterwards
benefactors
of
mankind
.
Look
into
it
more
carefully
and
understand
it
!
I
too
wanted
to
do
good
to
men
and
would
have
done
hundreds
,
thousands
of
good
deeds
to
make
up
for
that
one
piece
of
stupidity
,
not
stupidity
even
,
simply
clumsiness
,
for
the
idea
was
by
no
means
so
stupid
as
it
seems
now
that
it
has
failed
.
.
.
.
(
Everything
seems
stupid
when
it
fails
.
)
By
that
stupidity
I
only
wanted
to
put
myself
into
an
independent
position
,
to
take
the
first
step
,
to
obtain
means
,
and
then
everything
would
have
been
smoothed
over
by
benefits
immeasurable
in
comparison
.
.
.
.
But
I
.
.
.
I
couldn
’
t
carry
out
even
the
first
step
,
because
I
am
contemptible
,
that
’
s
what
’
s
the
matter
!
And
yet
I
won
’
t
look
at
it
as
you
do
.
If
I
had
succeeded
I
should
have
been
crowned
with
glory
,
but
now
I
’
m
trapped
.
”
