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- Ешь, молись, люби
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I
tell
him
that
I
hope
he
’
s
well
,
and
I
report
that
I
am
well
.
I
make
a
few
jokes
.
We
always
were
good
with
the
jokes
.
Then
I
explain
that
I
think
we
need
to
put
an
end
to
this
relationship
for
good
.
That
maybe
it
’
s
time
to
admit
that
it
will
never
happen
,
that
it
should
never
happen
.
The
note
isn
’
t
overly
dramatic
.
Lord
knows
we
’
ve
had
enough
drama
together
already
.
I
keep
it
short
and
simple
.
But
there
’
s
one
more
thing
I
need
to
add
.
Holding
my
breath
,
I
type
,
"
If
you
want
to
look
for
another
partner
in
your
life
,
of
course
you
have
nothing
but
my
blessings
.
"
My
hands
are
shaking
.
I
sign
off
with
love
,
trying
to
keep
as
cheerful
a
tone
as
possible
.
I
feel
like
I
just
got
hit
in
the
chest
with
a
stick
.
I
don
’
t
sleep
much
that
night
,
imagining
him
reading
my
words
.
I
run
back
to
the
Internet
cafe
a
few
times
throughout
the
next
day
,
looking
for
a
response
.
I
’
m
trying
to
ignore
the
part
of
me
that
is
dying
to
find
that
he
has
replied
:
"
COME
BACK
!
DON
’
T
GO
!
I
’
LL
CHANGE
!
"
I
’
m
trying
to
disregard
the
girl
in
me
who
would
happily
drop
this
whole
grand
idea
of
traveling
around
the
world
in
simple
exchange
for
the
keys
to
David
’
s
apartment
.
But
around
ten
o
’
clock
that
night
,
I
finally
get
my
answer
.
A
wonderfully
written
e
-
mail
,
of
course
.
David
always
wrote
wonderfully
.
He
agrees
that
,
yes
,
it
’
s
time
we
really
said
good
-
bye
forever
.
He
’
s
been
thinking
along
the
same
lines
himself
,
he
says
.
He
couldn
’
t
be
more
gracious
in
his
response
,
and
he
shares
his
own
feelings
of
loss
and
regret
with
that
high
tenderness
he
was
sometimes
so
achingly
capable
of
reaching
.
He
hopes
that
I
know
how
much
he
adores
me
,
beyond
even
his
ability
to
find
words
to
express
it
.
"
But
we
are
not
what
the
other
one
needs
,
"
he
says
.
Still
,
he
is
certain
that
I
will
find
great
love
in
my
life
someday
.
He
’
s
sure
of
it
.
After
all
,
he
says
,
"
beauty
attracts
beauty
.
"
Which
is
a
lovely
thing
to
say
,
truly
.
Which
is
just
about
the
loveliest
thing
that
the
love
of
your
life
could
ever
possibly
say
,
when
he
’
s
not
saying
,
"
COME
BACK
!
DON
’
T
GO
!
I
’
LL
CHANGE
!
"
I
sit
there
staring
at
the
computer
screen
in
silence
for
a
long
,
sad
time
.
It
’
s
all
for
the
best
,
I
know
it
is
.
I
’
m
choosing
happiness
over
suffering
,
I
know
I
am
.
I
’
m
making
space
for
the
unknown
future
to
fill
up
my
life
with
yet
-
to
-
come
surprises
.
I
know
all
this
.
But
still
…
It
’
s
David
.
Lost
to
me
now
.
I
drop
my
face
in
my
hands
for
a
longer
and
even
sadder
time
.
Finally
I
look
up
,
only
to
see
that
one
of
the
Albanian
women
who
work
at
the
Internet
cafe
has
paused
from
her
night
-
shift
mopping
of
the
floor
to
lean
against
the
wall
and
watch
me
.
We
hold
our
tired
gazes
on
each
other
for
a
moment
.
Then
I
give
her
a
grim
shake
of
my
head
and
say
aloud
,
"
This
blows
ass
.
"
She
nods
sympathetically
.
She
doesn
’
t
understand
,
but
of
course
,
in
her
way
,
she
understands
completely
.
My
cell
phone
rings
.
