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In
the
meantime
,
though
,
I
had
to
go
on
this
trip
to
Indonesia
.
Which
happened
,
again
,
because
of
a
magazine
assignment
.
Just
when
I
was
feeling
particularly
sorry
for
myself
for
being
broke
and
lonely
and
caged
up
in
Divorce
Internment
Camp
,
an
editor
from
a
women
’
s
magazine
asked
if
she
could
pay
to
send
me
to
Bali
to
write
a
story
about
Yoga
vacations
.
In
return
I
asked
her
a
series
of
questions
,
mostly
along
the
line
of
Is
a
bean
green
?
and
Does
James
Brown
get
down
?
When
I
got
to
Bali
(
which
is
,
to
be
brief
,
a
very
nice
place
)
the
teacher
who
was
running
the
Yoga
retreat
asked
us
,
"
While
you
’
re
all
here
,
is
there
anybody
who
would
like
to
go
visit
a
ninth
-
generation
Balinese
medicine
man
?
"
(
another
question
too
obvious
to
even
answer
)
,
and
so
we
all
went
over
to
his
house
one
night
.
The
medicine
man
,
as
it
turned
out
,
was
a
small
,
merry
-
eyed
,
russet
-
colored
old
guy
with
a
mostly
toothless
mouth
,
whose
resemblance
in
every
way
to
the
Star
Wars
character
Yoda
cannot
be
exaggerated
.
His
name
was
Ketut
Liyer
.
He
spoke
a
scattered
and
thoroughly
entertaining
kind
of
English
,
but
there
was
a
translator
available
for
when
he
got
stuck
on
a
word
.
Our
Yoga
teacher
had
told
us
in
advance
that
we
could
each
bring
one
question
or
problem
to
the
medicine
man
,
and
he
would
try
to
help
us
with
our
troubles
.
I
’
d
been
thinking
for
days
of
what
to
ask
him
.
My
initial
ideas
were
so
lame
.
Will
you
make
my
husband
give
me
a
divorce
?
Will
you
make
David
be
sexually
attracted
to
me
again
?
I
was
rightly
ashamed
of
myself
for
these
thoughts
:
who
travels
all
the
way
around
the
world
to
meet
an
ancient
medicine
man
in
Indonesia
,
only
to
ask
him
to
intercede
in
boy
trouble
?
So
when
the
old
man
asked
me
in
person
what
I
really
wanted
,
I
found
other
,
truer
words
.
"
I
want
to
have
a
lasting
experience
of
God
,
"
I
told
him
.
"
Sometimes
I
feel
like
I
understand
the
divinity
of
this
world
,
but
then
I
lose
it
because
I
get
distracted
by
my
petty
desires
and
fears
.
I
want
to
be
with
God
all
the
time
.
But
I
don
’
t
want
to
be
a
monk
,
or
totally
give
up
worldly
pleasures
.
I
guess
what
I
want
to
learn
is
how
to
live
in
this
world
and
enjoy
its
delights
,
but
also
devote
myself
to
God
.
"
Ketut
said
he
could
answer
my
question
with
a
picture
.
He
showed
me
a
sketch
he
’
d
drawn
once
during
meditation
.
It
was
an
androgynous
human
figure
,
standing
up
,
hands
clasped
in
prayer
.
But
this
figure
had
four
legs
,
and
no
head
.
Where
the
head
should
have
been
,
there
was
only
a
wild
foliage
of
ferns
and
flowers
.
There
was
a
small
,
smiling
face
drawn
over
the
heart
.
"
To
find
the
balance
you
want
,
"
Ketut
spoke
through
his
translator
,
"
this
is
what
you
must
become
.
You
must
keep
your
feet
grounded
so
firmly
on
the
earth
that
it
’
s
like
you
have
four
legs
,
instead
of
two
.
That
way
,
you
can
stay
in
the
world
.
But
you
must
stop
looking
at
the
world
through
your
head
.
You
must
look
through
your
heart
,
instead
.
That
way
,
you
will
know
God
.
"
Then
he
asked
if
he
could
read
my
palm
.
