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- Джозеф Конрад
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- Лорд Джим
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- Стр. 22/107
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'
He
protested
he
did
not
think
of
saving
himself
.
The
only
distinct
thought
formed
,
vanishing
,
and
re-forming
in
his
brain
,
was
:
eight
hundred
people
and
seven
boats
;
eight
hundred
people
and
seven
boats
.
"'
Somebody
was
speaking
aloud
inside
my
head
,
"
he
said
a
little
wildly
.
"
Eight
hundred
people
and
seven
boats
--
and
no
time
!
Just
think
of
it
.
"
He
leaned
towards
me
across
the
little
table
,
and
I
tried
to
avoid
his
stare
.
"
Do
you
think
I
was
afraid
of
death
?
"
he
asked
in
a
voice
very
fierce
and
low
.
He
brought
down
his
open
hand
with
a
bang
that
made
the
coffee-cups
dance
.
"
I
am
ready
to
swear
I
was
not
--
I
was
not
...
By
God
--
no
!
"
He
hitched
himself
upright
and
crossed
his
arms
;
his
chin
fell
on
his
breast
.
'
The
soft
clashes
of
crockery
reached
us
faintly
through
the
high
windows
.
There
was
a
burst
of
voices
,
and
several
men
came
out
in
high
good-humour
into
the
gallery
.
They
were
exchanging
jocular
reminiscences
of
the
donkeys
in
Cairo
.
A
pale
anxious
youth
stepping
softly
on
long
legs
was
being
chaffed
by
a
strutting
and
rubicund
globe-trotter
about
his
purchases
in
the
bazaar
.
"
No
,
really
--
do
you
think
I
've
been
done
to
that
extent
?
"
he
inquired
,
very
earnest
and
deliberate
.
The
band
moved
away
,
dropping
into
chairs
as
they
went
;
matches
flared
,
illuminating
for
a
second
faces
without
the
ghost
of
an
expression
and
the
flat
glaze
of
white
shirt-fronts
;
the
hum
of
many
conversations
animated
with
the
ardour
of
feasting
sounded
to
me
absurd
and
infinitely
remote
.
"'
Some
of
the
crew
were
sleeping
on
the
number
one
hatch
within
reach
of
my
arm
,
"
began
Jim
again
.
'
You
must
know
they
kept
Kalashee
watch
in
that
ship
,
all
hands
sleeping
through
the
night
,
and
only
the
reliefs
of
quartermasters
and
look-out
men
being
called
.
He
was
tempted
to
grip
and
shake
the
shoulder
of
the
nearest
lascar
,
but
he
did
n't
.
Something
held
his
arms
down
along
his
sides
.
He
was
not
afraid
--
oh
no
!
only
he
just
could
n't
--
that
's
all
.
He
was
not
afraid
of
death
perhaps
,
but
I
'll
tell
you
what
,
he
was
afraid
of
the
emergency
.
His
confounded
imagination
had
evoked
for
him
all
the
horrors
of
panic
,
the
trampling
rush
,
the
pitiful
screams
,
boats
swamped
--
all
the
appalling
incidents
of
a
disaster
at
sea
he
had
ever
heard
of
.
He
might
have
been
resigned
to
die
,
but
I
suspect
he
wanted
to
die
without
added
terrors
,
quietly
,
in
a
sort
of
peaceful
trance
A
certain
readiness
to
perish
is
not
so
very
rare
,
but
it
is
seldom
that
you
meet
men
whose
souls
,
steeled
in
the
impenetrable
armour
of
resolution
,
are
ready
to
fight
a
losing
battle
to
the
last
;
the
desire
of
peace
waxes
stronger
as
hope
declines
,
till
at
last
it
conquers
the
very
desire
of
life
.
Which
of
us
here
has
not
observed
this
,
or
maybe
experienced
something
of
that
feeling
in
his
own
person
--
this
extreme
weariness
of
emotions
,
the
vanity
of
effort
,
the
yearning
for
rest
?
Those
striving
with
unreasonable
forces
know
it
well
--
the
shipwrecked
castaways
in
boats
,
wanderers
lost
in
a
desert
,
men
battling
against
the
unthinking
might
of
nature
,
or
the
stupid
brutality
of
crowds
.
'
'
How
long
he
stood
stock-still
by
the
hatch
expecting
every
moment
to
feel
the
ship
dip
under
his
feet
and
the
rush
of
water
take
him
at
the
back
and
toss
him
like
a
chip
,
I
can
not
say
.
Not
very
long
--
two
minutes
perhaps
.
A
couple
of
men
he
could
not
make
out
began
to
converse
drowsily
,
and
also
,
he
could
not
tell
where
,
he
detected
a
curious
noise
of
shuffling
feet
.
Above
these
faint
sounds
there
was
that
awful
stillness
preceding
a
catastrophe
,
that
trying
silence
of
the
moment
before
the
crash
;
then
it
came
into
his
head
that
perhaps
he
would
have
time
to
rush
along
and
cut
all
the
lanyards
of
the
gripes
,
so
that
the
boats
would
float
off
as
the
ship
went
down
.
'
The
Patna
had
a
long
bridge
,
and
all
the
boats
were
up
there
,
four
on
one
side
and
three
on
the
other
--
the
smallest
of
them
on
the
port
side
and
nearly
abreast
of
the
steering-gear
.
He
assured
me
,
with
evident
anxiety
to
be
believed
,
that
he
had
been
most
careful
to
keep
them
ready
for
instant
service
.
He
knew
his
duty
.
I
dare
say
he
was
a
good
enough
mate
as
far
as
that
went
.
"
I
always
believed
in
being
prepared
for
the
worst
,
"
he
commented
,
staring
anxiously
in
my
face
.
I
nodded
my
approval
of
the
sound
principle
,
averting
my
eyes
before
the
subtle
unsoundness
of
the
man
.
'
He
started
unsteadily
to
run
.
He
had
to
step
over
legs
,
avoid
stumbling
against
the
heads
.
Suddenly
some
one
caught
hold
of
his
coat
from
below
,
and
a
distressed
voice
spoke
under
his
elbow
.
