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- Джозеф Конрад
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- Лорд Джим
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- Стр. 20/107
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"
Do
you
know
what
you
would
have
done
?
Do
you
?
And
you
do
n't
think
yourself
"
...
he
gulped
something
...
"
you
do
n't
think
yourself
a
--
a
--
cur
?
"
'
And
with
this
--
upon
my
honour
!
--
he
looked
up
at
me
inquisitively
.
It
was
a
question
it
appears
--
a
bond-fide
question
!
However
,
he
did
n't
wait
for
an
answer
.
Before
I
could
recover
he
went
on
,
with
his
eyes
straight
before
him
,
as
if
reading
off
something
written
on
the
body
of
the
night
.
"
It
is
all
in
being
ready
.
I
was
n't
;
not
--
not
then
.
I
do
n't
want
to
excuse
myself
;
but
I
would
like
to
explain
--
I
would
like
somebody
to
understand
--
somebody
--
one
person
at
least
!
You
!
Why
not
you
?
"
'
It
was
solemn
,
and
a
little
ridiculous
too
,
as
they
always
are
,
those
struggles
of
an
individual
trying
to
save
from
the
fire
his
idea
of
what
his
moral
identity
should
be
,
this
precious
notion
of
a
convention
,
only
one
of
the
rules
of
the
game
,
nothing
more
,
but
all
the
same
so
terribly
effective
by
its
assumption
of
unlimited
power
over
natural
instincts
,
by
the
awful
penalties
of
its
failure
.
He
began
his
story
quietly
enough
.
On
board
that
Dale
Line
steamer
that
had
picked
up
these
four
floating
in
a
boat
upon
the
discreet
sunset
glow
of
the
sea
,
they
had
been
after
the
first
day
looked
askance
upon
.
The
fat
skipper
told
some
story
,
the
others
had
been
silent
,
and
at
first
it
had
been
accepted
.
You
do
n't
cross-examine
poor
castaways
you
had
the
good
luck
to
save
,
if
not
from
cruel
death
,
then
at
least
from
cruel
suffering
.
Afterwards
,
with
time
to
think
it
over
,
it
might
have
struck
the
officers
of
the
Avondale
that
there
was
"
something
fishy
"
in
the
affair
;
but
of
course
they
would
keep
their
doubts
to
themselves
.
They
had
picked
up
the
captain
,
the
mate
,
and
two
engineers
of
the
steamer
Patna
sunk
at
sea
,
and
that
,
very
properly
,
was
enough
for
them
.
I
did
not
ask
Jim
about
the
nature
of
his
feelings
during
the
ten
days
he
spent
on
board
.
From
the
way
he
narrated
that
part
I
was
at
liberty
to
infer
he
was
partly
stunned
by
the
discovery
he
had
made
--
the
discovery
about
himself
--
and
no
doubt
was
at
work
trying
to
explain
it
away
to
the
only
man
who
was
capable
of
appreciating
all
its
tremendous
magnitude
.
You
must
understand
he
did
not
try
to
minimise
its
importance
.
Of
that
I
am
sure
;
and
therein
lies
his
distinction
.
As
to
what
sensations
he
experienced
when
he
got
ashore
and
heard
the
unforeseen
conclusion
of
the
tale
in
which
he
had
taken
such
a
pitiful
part
,
he
told
me
nothing
of
them
,
and
it
is
difficult
to
imagine
.
'
I
wonder
whether
he
felt
the
ground
cut
from
under
his
feet
?
I
wonder
?
But
no
doubt
he
managed
to
get
a
fresh
foothold
very
soon
.
He
was
ashore
a
whole
fortnight
waiting
in
the
Sailors
'
Home
,
and
as
there
were
six
or
seven
men
staying
there
at
the
time
,
I
had
heard
of
him
a
little
.
Their
languid
opinion
seemed
to
be
that
,
in
addition
to
his
other
shortcomings
,
he
was
a
sulky
brute
.
He
had
passed
these
days
on
the
verandah
,
buried
in
a
long
chair
,
and
coming
out
of
his
place
of
sepulture
only
at
meal-times
or
late
at
night
,
when
he
wandered
on
the
quays
all
by
himself
,
detached
from
his
surroundings
,
irresolute
and
silent
,
like
a
ghost
without
a
home
to
haunt
.
"
I
do
n't
think
I
've
spoken
three
words
to
a
living
soul
in
all
that
time
,
"
he
said
,
making
me
very
sorry
for
him
;
and
directly
he
added
,
"
One
of
these
fellows
would
have
been
sure
to
blurt
out
something
I
had
made
up
my
mind
not
to
put
up
with
,
and
I
did
n't
want
a
row
.
No
!
Not
then
.
I
was
too
--
too
...
I
had
no
heart
for
it
.
"
"
So
that
bulkhead
held
out
after
all
,
"
I
remarked
cheerfully
.
"
Yes
,
"
he
murmured
,
"
it
held
.
And
yet
I
swear
to
you
I
felt
it
bulge
under
my
hand
.
"
"
It
's
extraordinary
what
strains
old
iron
will
stand
sometimes
,
"
I
said
.
Thrown
back
in
his
seat
,
his
legs
stiffly
out
and
arms
hanging
down
,
he
nodded
slightly
several
times
.
You
could
not
conceive
a
sadder
spectacle
.
Suddenly
he
lifted
his
head
;
he
sat
up
;
he
slapped
his
thigh
.
"
Ah
!
what
a
chance
missed
!
My
God
!
what
a
chance
missed
!
"
he
blazed
out
,
but
the
ring
of
the
last
"
missed
"
resembled
a
cry
wrung
out
by
pain
.
'
He
was
silent
again
with
a
still
,
far-away
look
of
fierce
yearning
after
that
missed
distinction
,
with
his
nostrils
for
an
instant
dilated
,
sniffing
the
intoxicating
breath
of
that
wasted
opportunity
.
If
you
think
I
was
either
surprised
or
shocked
you
do
me
an
injustice
in
more
ways
than
one
!
Ah
,
he
was
an
imaginative
beggar
!
He
would
give
himself
away
;
he
would
give
himself
up
.
I
could
see
in
his
glance
darted
into
the
night
all
his
inner
being
carried
on
,
projected
headlong
into
the
fanciful
realm
of
recklessly
heroic
aspirations
.
He
had
no
leisure
to
regret
what
he
had
lost
,
he
was
so
wholly
and
naturally
concerned
for
what
he
had
failed
to
obtain
.
He
was
very
far
away
from
me
who
watched
him
across
three
feet
of
space
.
With
every
instant
he
was
penetrating
deeper
into
the
impossible
world
of
romantic
achievements
.
He
got
to
the
heart
of
it
at
last
!
A
strange
look
of
beatitude
overspread
his
features
,
his
eyes
sparkled
in
the
light
of
the
candle
burning
between
us
;
he
positively
smiled
!
He
had
penetrated
to
the
very
heart
--
to
the
very
heart
.
It
was
an
ecstatic
smile
that
your
faces
--
or
mine
either
--
will
never
wear
,
my
dear
boys
.
I
whisked
him
back
by
saying
,
"
If
you
had
stuck
to
the
ship
,
you
mean
!
"
'
He
turned
upon
me
,
his
eyes
suddenly
amazed
and
full
of
pain
,
with
a
bewildered
,
startled
,
suffering
face
,
as
though
he
had
tumbled
down
from
a
star
.
Neither
you
nor
I
will
ever
look
like
this
on
any
man
.
He
shuddered
profoundly
,
as
if
a
cold
finger-tip
had
touched
his
heart
.
Last
of
all
he
sighed
.
'
I
was
not
in
a
merciful
mood
.
He
provoked
one
by
his
contradictory
indiscretions
.
