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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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- Стр. 317/452
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"
Of
course
they
had
a
right
,
"
General
Peckem
snapped
with
cold
and
calculated
severity
,
resolving
right
then
and
there
to
test
the
mettle
of
his
new
colonel
under
fire
.
"
Don
’
t
be
such
an
ass
,
Scheisskopf
.
People
have
a
right
to
do
anything
that
’
s
not
forbidden
by
law
,
and
there
’
s
no
law
against
lying
to
you
.
Now
,
don
’
t
ever
waste
my
time
with
such
sentimental
platitudes
again
.
Do
you
hear
?
"
"
Yes
,
sir
,
"
murmured
Colonel
Scheisskopf
Colonel
Scheisskopf
wilted
pathetically
,
and
General
Peckem
blessed
the
fates
that
had
sent
him
a
weakling
for
a
subordinate
.
A
man
of
spunk
would
have
been
unthinkable
.
Having
won
,
General
Peckem
relented
.
He
did
not
enjoy
humiliating
his
men
.
"
If
your
wife
were
a
Wac
,
I
could
probably
have
her
transferred
here
.
But
that
’
s
the
most
I
can
do
.
"
"
She
has
a
friend
who
’
s
a
Wac
,
"
Colonel
Scheisskopf
offered
hopefully
.
"
I
’
m
afraid
that
isn
’
t
good
enough
.
Have
Mrs
.
Scheisskopf
join
the
Wacs
if
she
wants
to
,
and
I
’
ll
bring
her
over
here
.
But
in
the
meantime
,
my
dear
Colonel
,
let
’
s
get
back
to
our
little
war
,
if
we
may
.
Here
,
briefly
,
is
the
military
situation
that
confronts
us
.
"
General
Peckem
rose
and
moved
toward
a
rotary
rack
of
enormous
colored
maps
.
Colonel
Scheisskopf
blanched
.
"
We
’
re
not
going
into
combat
,
are
we
?
"
he
blurted
out
in
horror
.
"
Oh
,
no
,
of
course
not
,
"
General
Peckem
assured
him
indulgently
,
with
a
companionable
laugh
.
"
Please
give
me
some
credit
,
won
’
t
you
?
That
’
s
why
we
’
re
still
down
here
in
Rome
.
Certainly
,
I
’
d
like
to
be
up
in
Florence
,
too
,
where
I
could
keep
in
closer
touch
with
ex
-
P
.
F
.
C
.
Wintergreen
.
But
Florence
is
still
a
bit
too
near
the
actual
fighting
to
suit
me
.
"
General
Peckem
lifted
a
wooden
pointer
and
swept
the
rubber
tip
cheerfully
across
Italy
from
one
coast
to
the
other
.
"
These
,
Scheisskopf
,
are
the
Germans
.
They
’
re
dug
into
these
mountains
very
solidly
in
the
Gothic
Line
and
won
’
t
be
pushed
out
till
late
next
spring
,
although
that
isn
’
t
going
to
stop
those
clods
we
have
in
charge
from
trying
.
That
gives
us
in
Special
Services
almost
nine
months
to
achieve
our
objective
.
And
that
objective
is
to
capture
every
bomber
group
in
the
U
.
S
.
Air
Force
.
After
all
,
"
said
General
Peckem
with
his
low
,
well
-
modulated
chuckle
,
"
if
dropping
bombs
on
the
enemy
isn
’
t
a
special
service
,
I
wonder
what
in
the
world
is
.
Don
’
t
you
agree
?
"
Colonel
Scheisskopf
gave
no
indication
that
he
did
agree
,
but
General
Peckem
was
already
too
entranced
with
his
own
loquacity
to
notice
.
"
Our
position
right
now
is
excellent
.
Reinforcements
like
yourself
keep
arriving
,
and
we
have
more
than
enough
time
to
plan
our
entire
strategy
carefully
.
Our
immediate
goal
,
"
he
said
,
"
is
right
here
.
"
And
General
Peckem
swung
his
pointer
south
to
the
island
of
Pianosa
and
tapped
it
significantly
upon
a
large
word
that
had
been
lettered
on
there
with
black
grease
pencil
.
The
word
was
DREEDLE
.
Colonel
Scheisskopf
,
squinting
,
moved
very
close
to
the
map
,
and
for
the
first
time
since
he
entered
the
room
a
light
of
comprehension
shed
a
dim
glow
over
his
stolid
face
.
"
I
think
I
understand
,
"
he
exclaimed
.
"
Yes
,
I
know
I
understand
.
Our
first
job
is
to
capture
Dreedle
away
from
the
enemy
.
Right
?
"
General
Peckem
laughed
benignly
.
"
No
,
Scheisskopf
.
Dreedle
’
s
on
our
side
,
and
Dreedle
is
the
enemy
.
General
Dreedle
commands
four
bomb
groups
that
we
simply
must
capture
in
order
to
continue
our
offensive
.
Conquering
General
Dreedle
will
give
us
the
aircraft
and
vital
bases
we
need
to
carry
our
operations
into
other
areas
.
And
that
battle
,
by
the
way
,
is
just
about
won
.
"
General
Peckem
drifted
toward
the
window
,
laughing
quietly
again
,
and
settled
back
against
the
sill
with
his
arms
folded
,
greatly
satisfied
by
his
own
wit
and
by
his
knowledgeable
,
blase
impudence
.
The
skilled
choice
of
words
he
was
exercising
was
exquisitely
titillating
.
General
Peckem
liked
listening
to
himself
talk
,
like
most
of
all
listening
to
himself
talk
about
himself
.
"
General
Dreedle
simply
doesn
’
t
know
how
to
cope
with
me
,
"
he
gloated
.
"
I
keep
invading
his
jurisdiction
with
comments
and
criticisms
that
are
really
none
of
my
business
,
and
he
doesn
’
t
know
what
to
do
about
it
.
When
he
accuses
me
of
seeking
to
undermine
him
,
I
merely
answer
that
my
only
purpose
in
calling
attention
to
his
errors
is
to
strengthen
our
war
effort
by
eliminating
inefficiency
.
Then
I
ask
him
innocently
if
he
’
s
opposed
to
improving
our
war
effort
.
Oh
,
he
grumbles
and
he
bristles
and
he
bellows
,
but
he
’
s
really
quite
helpless
.
He
’
s
simply
out
of
style
.
He
’
s
turning
into
quite
a
souse
,
you
know
.
The
poor
blockhead
shouldn
’
t
even
be
a
general
.
He
has
no
tone
,
no
tone
at
all
.
Thank
God
he
isn
’
t
going
to
last
.
"
General
Peckem
chuckled
with
jaunty
relish
and
sailed
smoothly
along
toward
a
favorite
learned
allusion
.
