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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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"
You
don
’
t
have
to
give
anything
.
Just
give
me
one
plane
for
each
mess
hall
and
a
pilot
who
will
do
what
he
’
s
told
.
And
a
small
down
payment
on
your
initial
order
as
a
token
of
good
faith
.
"
"
But
Cracow
is
hundreds
of
miles
behind
the
enemy
lines
.
How
will
you
get
to
the
sausage
?
"
"
There
’
s
an
international
Polish
sausage
exchange
in
Geneva
.
I
’
ll
just
fly
the
peanuts
into
Switzerland
and
exchange
them
for
Polish
sausage
at
the
open
market
rate
.
They
’
ll
fly
the
peanuts
back
to
Cracow
and
I
’
ll
fly
the
Polish
sausage
back
to
you
.
You
buy
only
as
much
Polish
sausage
as
you
want
through
the
syndicate
.
There
’
ll
be
tangerines
too
,
with
only
a
little
artificial
coloring
added
.
And
eggs
from
Malta
and
Scotch
from
Sicily
.
You
’
ll
be
paying
the
money
to
yourself
when
you
buy
from
the
syndicate
,
since
you
’
ll
own
a
share
,
so
you
’
ll
really
be
getting
everything
you
buy
for
nothing
.
Doesn
’
t
that
makes
sense
?
"
"
Sheer
genius
.
How
in
the
world
did
you
ever
think
of
it
?
"
"
My
name
is
Milo
Minderbinder
.
I
am
twenty
-
seven
years
old
.
"
Milo
Minderbinder
’
s
planes
flew
in
from
everywhere
,
the
pursuit
planes
,
bombers
,
and
cargo
ships
streaming
into
Colonel
Cathcart
’
s
field
with
pilots
at
the
controls
who
would
do
what
they
were
told
.
The
planes
were
decorated
with
flamboyant
squadron
emblems
illustrating
such
laudable
ideals
as
Courage
,
Might
,
Justice
,
Truth
,
Liberty
,
Love
,
Honor
and
Patriotism
that
were
painted
out
at
once
by
Milo
’
s
mechanics
with
a
double
coat
of
flat
white
and
replaced
in
garish
purple
with
the
stenciled
name
M
&
M
ENTERPRISES
,
FINE
FRUITS
AND
PRODUCE
.
The
"
M
&
M
"
In
"
M
&
M
ENTERPRISES
"
stood
for
Milo
&
Minderbinder
,
and
the
&
was
inserted
,
Milo
revealed
candidly
,
to
nullify
any
impression
that
the
syndicate
was
a
one
-
man
operation
.
Planes
arrived
for
Milo
from
airfields
in
Italy
,
North
Africa
and
England
,
and
from
Air
Transport
Command
stations
in
Liberia
,
Ascension
Island
,
Cairo
,
and
Karachi
.
Pursuit
planes
were
traded
for
additional
cargo
ships
or
retained
for
emergency
invoice
duty
and
small
-
parcel
service
;
trucks
and
tanks
were
procured
from
the
ground
forces
and
used
for
short
-
distance
road
hauling
.
Everybody
had
a
share
,
and
men
got
fat
and
moved
about
tamely
with
toothpicks
in
their
greasy
lips
.
Milo
supervised
the
whole
expanding
operation
by
himself
.
Deep
otter
-
brown
lines
of
preoccupation
etched
themselves
permanently
into
his
careworn
face
and
gave
him
a
harried
look
of
sobriety
and
mistrust
.
Everybody
but
Yossarian
thought
Milo
was
a
jerk
,
first
for
volunteering
for
the
job
of
mess
officer
and
next
for
taking
it
so
seriously
.
Yossarian
also
thought
that
Milo
was
a
jerk
;
but
he
also
knew
that
Milo
was
a
genius
.
One
day
Milo
flew
away
to
England
to
pick
up
a
load
of
Turkish
halvah
and
came
flying
back
from
Madagascar
leading
four
German
bombers
filled
with
yams
,
collards
,
mustard
greens
and
black
-
eyed
Georgia
peas
.
Milo
was
dumbfounded
when
he
stepped
down
to
the
ground
and
found
a
contingent
of
armed
M
.
P
.
s
waiting
to
imprison
the
German
pilots
and
confiscate
their
planes
.
Confiscate
!
The
mere
word
was
anathema
to
him
,
and
he
stormed
back
and
forth
in
excoriating
condemnation
,
shaking
a
piercing
finger
of
rebuke
in
the
guilt
-
ridden
faces
of
Colonel
Cathcart
,
Colonel
Korn
and
the
poor
battle
-
scarred
captain
with
the
submachine
gun
who
commanded
the
M
.
P
.
s
.
"
Is
this
Russia
?
"
Milo
assailed
them
incredulously
at
the
top
of
his
voice
.
"
Confiscate
?
"
he
shrieked
,
as
though
he
could
not
believe
his
own
ears
.
"
Since
when
is
it
the
policy
of
the
American
government
to
confiscate
the
private
property
of
its
citizens
?
Shame
on
you
!
Shame
on
all
of
you
for
even
thinking
such
a
horrible
thought
.
"
"
But
Milo
,
"
Major
Danby
interrupted
timidly
,
"
we
’
re
at
war
with
Germany
,
and
those
are
German
planes
.
"
