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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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- Стр. 25/452
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"
Men
,
"
Colonel
Cargill
began
in
Yossarian
’
s
squadron
,
measuring
his
pauses
carefully
.
"
You
’
re
American
officers
.
The
officers
of
no
other
army
in
the
world
can
make
that
statement
.
Think
about
it
.
"
Sergeant
Knight
thought
about
it
and
then
politely
informed
Colonel
Cargill
that
he
was
addressing
the
enlisted
men
and
that
the
officers
were
to
be
found
waiting
for
him
on
the
other
side
of
the
squadron
.
Colonel
Cargill
thanked
him
crisply
and
glowed
with
self
-
satisfaction
as
he
strode
across
the
area
.
It
made
him
proud
to
observe
that
twenty
-
nine
months
in
the
service
had
not
blunted
his
genius
for
ineptitude
.
"
Men
,
"
he
began
his
address
to
the
officers
,
measuring
his
pauses
carefully
.
"
You
’
re
American
officers
.
The
officers
of
no
other
army
in
the
world
can
make
that
statement
.
Think
about
it
.
"
He
waited
a
moment
to
permit
them
to
think
about
it
.
"
These
people
are
your
guests
!
"
he
shouted
suddenly
.
"
They
’
ve
traveled
over
three
thousand
miles
to
entertain
you
.
How
are
they
going
to
feel
if
nobody
wants
to
go
out
and
watch
them
?
What
’
s
going
to
happen
to
their
morale
?
Now
,
men
,
it
’
s
no
skin
off
my
behind
.
But
that
girl
that
wants
to
play
the
accordion
for
you
today
is
old
enough
to
be
a
mother
.
How
would
you
feel
if
your
own
mother
traveled
over
three
thousand
miles
to
play
the
accordion
for
some
troops
that
didn
’
t
want
to
watch
her
?
How
is
that
kid
whose
mother
that
accordion
player
is
old
enough
to
be
going
to
feel
when
he
grows
up
and
learns
about
it
?
We
all
know
the
answer
to
that
one
.
Now
,
men
,
don
’
t
misunderstand
me
.
This
is
all
voluntary
,
of
course
.
I
’
d
be
the
last
colonel
in
the
world
to
order
you
to
go
to
that
U
.
S
.
O
.
show
and
have
a
good
time
,
but
I
want
every
one
of
you
who
isn
’
t
sick
enough
to
be
in
a
hospital
to
go
to
that
U
.
S
.
O
.
show
right
now
and
have
a
good
time
,
and
that
’
s
an
order
!
"
Yossarian
did
feel
almost
sick
enough
to
go
back
into
the
hospital
,
and
he
felt
even
sicker
three
combat
missions
later
when
Doc
Daneeka
still
shook
his
melancholy
head
and
refused
to
ground
him
.
"
You
think
you
’
ve
got
troubles
?
"
Doc
Daneeka
rebuked
him
grievingly
.
"
What
about
me
?
I
lived
on
peanuts
for
eight
years
while
I
learned
how
to
be
a
doctor
.
After
the
peanuts
,
I
lived
on
chicken
feed
in
my
own
office
until
I
could
build
up
a
practice
decent
enough
to
even
pay
expenses
.
Then
,
just
as
the
shop
was
finally
starting
to
show
a
profit
,
they
drafted
me
.
I
don
’
t
know
what
you
’
re
complaining
about
.
"
Doc
Daneeka
was
Yossarian
’
s
friend
and
would
do
just
about
nothing
in
his
power
to
help
him
.
Yossarian
listened
very
carefully
as
Doc
Daneeka
told
him
about
Colonel
Cathcart
at
Group
,
who
wanted
to
be
a
general
,
about
General
Dreedle
at
Wing
and
General
Dreedle
’
s
nurse
,
and
about
all
the
other
generals
at
Twenty
-
seventh
Air
Force
Headquarters
,
who
insisted
on
only
forty
missions
as
a
completed
tour
of
duty
.
"
Why
don
’
t
you
just
smile
and
make
the
best
of
it
?
"
he
advised
Yossarian
glumly
.
"
Be
like
Havermeyer
.
"
Yossarian
shuddered
at
the
suggestion
.
Havermeyer
was
a
lead
bombardier
who
never
took
evasive
action
going
in
to
the
target
and
thereby
increased
the
danger
of
all
the
men
who
flew
in
the
same
formation
with
him
.
"
Havermeyer
,
why
the
hell
don
’
t
you
ever
take
evasive
action
?
"
they
would
demand
in
a
rage
after
the
mission
.
