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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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- Стр. 24/452
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Orr
had
buck
teeth
and
bulging
eyes
to
go
with
his
big
cheeks
and
was
even
smaller
than
young
Huple
,
who
lived
on
the
wrong
side
of
the
railroad
tracks
in
the
tent
in
the
administration
area
in
which
Hungry
Joe
lay
screaming
in
his
sleep
every
night
.
The
administration
area
in
which
Hungry
Joe
had
pitched
his
tent
by
mistake
lay
in
the
center
of
the
squadron
between
the
ditch
,
with
its
rusted
railroad
tracks
,
and
the
tilted
black
bituminous
road
.
The
men
could
pick
up
girls
along
that
road
if
they
promised
to
take
them
where
they
wanted
to
go
,
buxom
,
young
,
homely
,
grinning
girls
with
missing
teeth
whom
they
could
drive
off
the
road
and
lie
down
in
the
wild
grass
with
,
and
Yossarian
did
whenever
he
could
,
which
was
not
nearly
as
often
as
Hungry
Joe
,
who
could
get
a
jeep
but
couldn
’
t
drive
,
begged
him
to
try
.
The
tents
of
the
enlisted
men
in
the
squadron
stood
on
the
other
side
of
the
road
alongside
the
open
-
air
movie
theater
in
which
,
for
the
daily
amusement
of
the
dying
,
ignorant
armies
clashed
by
night
on
a
collapsible
screen
,
and
to
which
another
U
.
S
.
O
.
troupe
came
that
same
afternoon
.
The
U
.
S
.
O
.
troupes
were
sent
by
General
P
.
P
.
Peckem
,
who
had
moved
his
headquarters
up
to
Rome
and
had
nothing
better
to
do
while
he
schemed
against
General
Dreedle
.
General
Peckem
was
a
general
with
whom
neatness
definitely
counted
.
He
was
a
spry
,
suave
and
very
precise
general
who
knew
the
circumference
of
the
equator
and
always
wrote
"
enhanced
"
when
he
meant
"
increased
.
"
He
was
a
prick
,
and
no
one
knew
this
better
than
General
Dreedle
,
who
was
incensed
by
General
Peckem
’
s
recent
directive
requiring
all
tents
in
the
Mediterranean
theater
of
operations
to
be
pitched
along
parallel
lines
with
entrances
facing
back
proudly
toward
the
Washington
Monument
.
To
General
Dreedle
,
who
ran
a
fighting
outfit
,
it
seemed
a
lot
of
crap
.
Furthermore
,
it
was
none
of
General
Peckem
’
s
goddam
business
how
the
tents
in
General
Dreedle
’
s
wing
were
pitched
.
There
then
followed
a
hectic
jurisdictional
dispute
between
these
overlords
that
was
decided
in
General
Dreedle
’
s
favor
by
ex
-
P
.
F
.
C
.
Wintergreen
,
mail
clerk
at
Twenty
-
seventh
Air
Force
Headquarters
.
Wintergreen
determined
the
outcome
by
throwing
all
communications
from
General
Peckem
into
the
wastebasket
.
He
found
them
too
prolix
.
General
Dreedle
’
s
views
,
expressed
in
less
pretentious
literary
style
,
pleased
ex
-
P
.
F
.
C
.
Wintergreen
and
were
sped
along
by
him
in
zealous
observance
of
regulations
.
General
Dreedle
was
victorious
by
default
.
To
regain
whatever
status
he
had
lost
,
General
Peckem
began
sending
out
more
U
.
S
.
O
.
troupes
than
he
had
ever
sent
out
before
and
assigned
to
Colonel
Cargill
himself
the
responsibility
of
generating
enough
enthusiasm
for
them
.
But
there
was
no
enthusiasm
in
Yossarian
’
s
group
.
In
Yossarian
’
s
group
there
was
only
a
mounting
number
of
enlisted
men
and
officers
who
found
their
way
solemnly
to
Sergeant
Towser
several
times
a
day
to
ask
if
the
orders
sending
them
home
had
come
in
.
They
were
men
who
had
finished
their
fifty
missions
.
There
were
more
of
them
now
than
when
Yossarian
had
gone
into
the
hospital
,
and
they
were
still
waiting
.
They
worried
and
bit
their
nails
.
They
were
grotesque
,
like
useless
young
men
in
a
depression
.
They
moved
sideways
,
like
crabs
.
They
were
waiting
for
the
orders
sending
them
home
to
safety
to
return
from
Twenty
-
seventh
Air
Force
Headquarters
in
Italy
,
and
while
they
waited
they
had
nothing
to
do
but
worry
and
bite
their
nails
and
find
their
way
solemnly
to
Sergeant
Towser
several
times
a
day
to
ask
if
the
orders
sending
them
home
to
safety
had
come
.
They
were
in
a
race
and
knew
it
,
because
they
knew
from
bitter
experience
that
Colonel
Cathcart
might
raise
the
number
of
missions
again
at
any
time
.
They
had
nothing
better
to
do
than
wait
.
Only
Hungry
Joe
had
something
better
to
do
each
time
he
finished
his
missions
.
He
had
screaming
nightmares
and
won
fist
fights
with
Huple
’
s
cat
.
He
took
his
camera
to
the
front
row
of
every
U
.
S
.
O
.
show
and
tried
to
shoot
pictures
up
the
skirt
of
the
yellow
-
headed
singer
with
two
big
ones
in
a
sequined
dress
that
always
seemed
ready
to
burst
.
The
pictures
never
came
out
.
Colonel
Cargill
,
General
Peckem
’
s
troubleshooter
,
was
a
forceful
,
ruddy
man
.
Before
the
war
he
had
been
an
alert
,
hard
-
hitting
,
aggressive
marketing
executive
.
He
was
a
very
bad
marketing
executive
.
Colonel
Cargill
was
so
awful
a
marketing
executive
that
his
services
were
much
sought
after
by
firms
eager
to
establish
losses
for
tax
purposes
.
Throughout
the
civilized
world
,
from
Battery
Park
to
Fulton
Street
,
he
was
known
as
a
dependable
man
for
a
fast
tax
write
-
off
.
His
prices
were
high
,
for
failure
often
did
not
come
easily
.
He
had
to
start
at
the
top
and
work
his
way
down
,
and
with
sympathetic
friends
in
Washington
,
losing
money
was
no
simple
matter
.
It
took
months
of
hard
work
and
careful
misplanning
.
A
person
misplaced
,
disorganized
,
miscalculated
,
overlooked
everything
and
opened
every
loophole
,
and
just
when
he
thought
he
had
it
made
,
the
government
gave
him
a
lake
or
a
forest
or
an
oilfield
and
spoiled
everything
.
Even
with
such
handicaps
,
Colonel
Cargill
could
be
relied
on
to
run
the
most
prosperous
enterprise
into
the
ground
.
He
was
a
self
-
made
man
who
owed
his
lack
of
success
to
nobody
.
