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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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- Стр. 23/452
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"
—
are
better
than
crab
apples
?
"
Orr
sniggered
as
he
shook
his
head
.
"
I
did
it
to
protect
my
good
reputation
in
case
anyone
ever
caught
me
walking
around
with
crab
apples
in
my
cheeks
.
With
rubber
balls
in
my
hands
I
could
deny
there
were
crab
apples
in
my
cheeks
.
Every
time
someone
asked
me
why
I
was
walking
around
with
crab
apples
in
my
cheeks
,
I
’
d
just
open
my
hands
and
show
them
it
was
rubber
balls
I
was
walking
around
with
,
not
crab
apples
,
and
that
they
were
in
my
hands
,
not
my
cheeks
.
It
was
a
good
story
.
But
I
never
knew
if
it
got
across
or
not
,
since
it
’
s
pretty
tough
to
make
people
understand
you
when
you
’
re
talking
to
them
with
two
crab
apples
in
your
cheeks
.
"
Yossarian
found
it
pretty
tough
to
understand
him
then
,
and
he
wondered
once
again
if
Orr
wasn
’
t
talking
to
him
with
the
tip
of
his
tongue
in
one
of
his
apple
cheeks
.
Yossarian
decided
not
to
utter
another
word
.
It
would
be
futile
.
He
knew
Orr
,
and
he
knew
there
was
not
a
chance
in
hell
of
finding
out
from
him
then
why
he
had
wanted
big
cheeks
.
It
would
do
no
more
good
to
ask
than
it
had
done
to
ask
him
why
that
whore
had
kept
beating
him
over
the
head
with
her
shoe
that
morning
in
Rome
in
the
cramped
vestibule
outside
the
open
door
of
Nately
’
s
whore
’
s
kid
sister
’
s
room
.
She
was
a
tall
,
strapping
girl
with
long
hair
and
incandescent
blue
veins
converging
populously
beneath
her
cocoa
-
colored
skin
where
the
flesh
was
most
tender
,
and
she
kept
cursing
and
shrieking
and
jumping
high
up
into
the
air
on
her
bare
feet
to
keep
right
on
hitting
him
on
the
top
of
his
head
with
the
spiked
heel
of
her
shoe
.
They
were
both
naked
,
and
raising
a
rumpus
that
brought
everyone
in
the
apartment
into
the
hall
to
watch
,
each
couple
in
a
bedroom
doorway
,
all
of
them
naked
except
the
aproned
and
sweatered
old
woman
,
who
clucked
reprovingly
,
and
the
lecherous
,
dissipated
old
man
,
who
cackled
aloud
hilariously
through
the
whole
episode
with
a
kind
of
avid
and
superior
glee
.
The
girl
shrieked
and
Orr
giggled
.
Each
time
she
landed
with
the
heel
of
her
shoe
,
Orr
giggled
louder
,
infuriating
her
still
further
so
that
she
flew
up
still
higher
into
the
air
for
another
shot
at
his
noodle
,
her
wondrously
full
breasts
soaring
all
over
the
place
like
billowing
pennants
in
a
strong
wind
and
her
buttocks
and
strong
thighs
shim
-
sham
-
shimmying
this
way
and
that
way
like
some
horrifying
bonanza
.
She
shrieked
and
Orr
giggled
right
up
to
the
time
she
shrieked
and
knocked
him
cold
with
a
good
solid
crack
on
the
temple
that
made
him
stop
giggling
and
sent
him
off
to
the
hospital
in
a
stretcher
with
a
hole
in
his
head
that
wasn
’
t
very
deep
and
a
very
mild
concussion
that
kept
him
out
of
combat
only
twelve
days
.
"
Nobody
could
find
out
what
had
happened
,
not
even
the
cackling
old
man
and
clucking
old
woman
,
who
were
in
a
position
to
find
out
everything
that
happened
in
that
vast
and
endless
brothel
with
its
multitudinous
bedrooms
on
facing
sides
of
the
narrow
hallways
going
off
in
opposite
directions
from
the
spacious
sitting
room
with
its
shaded
windows
and
single
lamp
.
Every
time
she
met
Orr
after
that
,
she
’
d
hoist
her
skirts
up
over
her
tight
white
elastic
panties
and
,
jeering
coarsely
,
bulge
her
firm
,
round
belly
out
at
him
,
cursing
him
contemptuously
and
then
roaring
with
husky
laughter
as
she
saw
him
giggle
fearfully
and
take
refuge
behind
Yossarian
.
Whatever
he
had
done
or
tried
to
do
or
failed
to
do
behind
the
closed
door
of
Nately
’
s
whore
’
s
kid
sister
’
s
room
was
still
a
secret
.
The
girl
wouldn
’
t
tell
Nately
’
s
whore
or
any
of
the
other
whores
or
Nately
or
Yossarian
.
Orr
might
tell
,
but
Yossarian
had
decided
not
to
utter
another
word
.
"
Do
you
want
to
know
why
I
wanted
big
cheeks
?
"
Orr
asked
.
Yossarian
kept
his
mouth
shut
.
"
Do
you
remember
,
"
Orr
said
,
"
that
time
in
Rome
when
that
girl
who
can
’
t
stand
you
kept
hitting
me
over
the
head
with
the
heel
of
her
shoe
?
Do
you
want
to
know
why
she
was
hitting
me
?
"
It
was
still
impossible
to
imagine
what
he
could
have
done
to
make
her
angry
enough
to
hammer
him
over
the
head
for
fifteen
or
twenty
minutes
,
yet
not
angry
enough
to
pick
him
up
by
the
ankles
and
dash
his
brains
out
.
She
was
certainly
tall
enough
,
and
Orr
was
certainly
short
enough
.
