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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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"
I
can
’
t
believe
it
,
"
Nately
remarked
grudgingly
,
trying
stubbornly
not
to
watch
him
in
relationship
to
the
girls
.
"
I
simply
can
’
t
believe
it
.
"
"
But
it
’
s
perfectly
true
.
When
the
Germans
marched
into
the
city
,
I
danced
in
the
streets
like
a
youthful
ballerina
and
shouted
,
"
Heil
Hitler
!
"
until
my
lungs
were
hoarse
.
I
even
waved
a
small
Nazi
flag
that
I
snatched
away
from
a
beautiful
little
girl
while
her
mother
was
looking
the
other
way
.
When
the
Germans
left
the
city
,
I
rushed
out
to
welcome
the
Americans
with
a
bottle
of
excellent
brandy
and
a
basket
of
flowers
.
The
brandy
was
for
myself
,
of
course
,
and
the
flowers
were
to
sprinkle
upon
our
liberators
.
There
was
a
very
stiff
and
stuffy
old
major
riding
in
the
first
car
,
and
I
hit
him
squarely
in
the
eye
with
a
red
rose
.
A
marvelous
shot
!
You
should
have
seen
him
wince
.
"
Nately
gasped
and
was
on
his
feet
with
amazement
,
the
blood
draining
from
his
cheeks
.
"
Major
—
de
Coverley
!
"
he
cried
.
"
Do
you
know
him
?
"
inquired
the
old
man
with
delight
.
"
What
a
charming
coincidence
!
"
Nately
was
too
astounded
even
to
hear
him
.
"
So
you
’
re
the
one
who
wounded
Major
–
de
Coverley
!
"
he
exclaimed
in
horrified
indignation
.
"
How
could
you
do
such
a
thing
?
"
The
fiendish
old
man
was
unperturbed
.
"
How
could
I
resist
,
you
mean
.
You
should
have
seen
the
arrogant
old
bore
,
sitting
there
so
sternly
in
that
car
like
the
Almighty
Himself
,
with
his
big
,
rigid
head
and
his
foolish
,
solemn
face
.
What
a
tempting
target
he
made
!
I
got
him
in
the
eye
with
an
American
Beauty
rose
.
I
thought
that
was
most
appropriate
.
Don
’
t
you
?
"
"
That
was
a
terrible
thing
to
do
!
"
Nately
shouted
at
him
reproachfully
.
"
A
vicious
and
criminal
thing
!
Major
—
de
Coverley
is
our
squadron
executive
officer
!
"
"
Is
he
?
"
teased
the
unregenerate
old
man
,
pinching
his
pointy
jaw
gravely
in
a
parody
of
repentance
.
"
In
that
case
,
you
must
give
me
credit
for
being
impartial
.
When
the
Germans
rode
in
,
I
almost
stabbed
a
robust
young
Oberleutnant
to
death
with
a
sprig
of
edelweiss
.
"
Nately
was
appalled
and
bewildered
by
the
abominable
old
man
’
s
inability
to
perceive
the
enormity
of
his
offence
.
"
Don
’
t
you
realize
what
you
’
ve
done
?
"
he
scolded
vehemently
.
"
Major
—
de
Coverley
is
a
noble
and
wonderful
person
,
and
everyone
admires
him
.
"
"
He
’
s
a
silly
old
fool
who
really
has
no
right
acting
like
a
silly
young
fool
.
Where
is
he
today
?
Dead
?
"
Nately
answered
softly
with
somber
awe
.
"
Nobody
knows
.
He
seems
to
have
disappeared
.
"
"
You
see
?
Imagine
a
man
his
age
risking
what
little
life
he
has
left
for
something
so
absurd
as
a
country
.
"
Nately
was
instantly
up
in
arms
again
.
"
There
is
nothing
so
absurd
about
risking
your
life
for
your
country
!
"
he
declared
.
"
Isn
’
t
there
?
"
asked
the
old
man
.
"
What
is
a
country
?
A
country
is
a
piece
of
land
surrounded
on
all
sides
by
boundaries
,
usually
unnatural
.
Englishmen
are
dying
for
England
,
Americans
are
dying
for
America
,
Germans
are
dying
for
Germany
,
Russians
are
dying
for
Russia
.
There
are
now
fifty
or
sixty
countries
fighting
in
this
war
.
Surely
so
many
countries
can
’
t
all
be
worth
dying
for
.
"
