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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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Nately
was
a
sensitive
,
rich
,
good
-
looking
boy
with
dark
hair
,
trusting
eyes
,
and
a
pain
in
his
neck
when
he
awoke
on
the
sofa
early
the
next
morning
and
wondered
dully
where
he
was
.
His
nature
was
invariably
gentle
and
polite
.
He
had
lived
for
almost
twenty
years
without
trauma
,
tension
,
hate
,
or
neurosis
,
which
was
proof
to
Yossarian
of
just
how
crazy
he
really
was
.
His
childhood
had
been
a
pleasant
,
though
disciplined
,
one
.
He
got
on
well
with
his
brothers
and
sisters
,
and
he
did
not
hate
his
mother
and
father
,
even
though
they
had
both
been
very
good
to
him
.
Nately
had
been
brought
up
to
detest
people
like
Aarfy
,
whom
his
mother
characterized
as
climbers
,
and
people
like
Milo
,
whom
his
father
characterized
as
pushers
,
but
he
had
never
learned
how
,
since
he
had
never
been
permitted
near
them
.
As
far
as
he
could
recall
,
his
homes
in
Philadelphia
,
New
York
,
Maine
,
Palm
Beach
,
Southampton
,
London
,
Deauville
,
Paris
and
the
south
of
France
had
always
been
crowded
only
with
ladies
and
gentlemen
who
were
not
climbers
or
pushers
.
Nately
’
s
mother
,
a
descendant
of
the
New
England
Thorntons
,
was
a
Daughter
of
the
American
Revolution
.
His
father
was
a
Son
of
a
Bitch
.
"
Always
remember
,
"
his
mother
had
reminded
him
frequently
,
"
that
you
are
a
Nately
.
You
are
not
a
Vanderbilt
,
whose
fortune
was
made
by
a
vulgar
tugboat
captain
,
or
a
Rockefeller
,
whose
wealth
was
amassed
through
unscrupulous
speculations
in
crude
petroleum
;
or
a
Reynolds
or
Duke
,
whose
income
was
derived
from
the
sale
to
the
unsuspecting
public
of
products
containing
cancer
-
causing
resins
and
tars
;
and
you
are
certainly
not
an
Astor
,
whose
family
,
I
believe
,
still
lets
rooms
.
You
are
a
Nately
,
and
the
Natelys
have
never
done
anything
for
their
money
.
"
"
What
your
mother
means
,
son
,
"
interjected
his
father
affably
one
time
with
that
flair
for
graceful
and
economical
expression
Nately
admired
so
much
,
"
is
that
old
money
is
better
than
new
money
and
that
the
newly
rich
are
never
to
be
esteemed
as
highly
as
the
newly
poor
.
Isn
’
t
that
correct
,
my
dear
?
Nately
’
s
father
brimmed
continually
with
sage
and
sophisticated
counsel
of
that
kind
.
He
was
as
ebullient
and
ruddy
as
mulled
claret
,
and
Nately
liked
him
a
great
deal
,
although
he
did
not
like
mulled
claret
.
When
war
broke
out
,
Nately
’
s
family
decided
that
he
would
enlist
in
the
armed
forces
,
since
he
was
too
young
to
be
placed
in
the
diplomatic
service
,
and
since
his
father
had
it
on
excellent
authority
that
Russia
was
going
to
collapse
in
a
matter
of
weeks
or
months
and
that
Hitler
,
Churchill
,
Roosevelt
,
Mussolini
,
Gandhi
,
Franco
,
Peron
and
the
Emperor
of
Japan
would
then
all
sign
a
peace
treaty
and
live
together
happily
ever
after
.
It
was
Nately
’
s
father
’
s
idea
that
he
join
the
Air
Corps
,
where
he
could
train
safely
as
a
pilot
while
the
Russians
capitulated
and
the
details
of
the
armistice
were
worked
out
,
and
where
,
as
an
officer
,
he
would
associate
only
with
gentlemen
.
Instead
,
he
found
himself
with
Yossarian
,
Dunbar
and
Hungry
Joe
in
a
whore
house
in
Rome
,
poignantly
in
love
with
an
indifferent
girl
there
with
whom
he
finally
did
lie
down
the
morning
after
the
night
he
slept
alone
in
the
sitting
room
,
only
to
be
interrupted
almost
immediately
by
her
incorrigible
kid
sister
,
who
came
bursting
in
without
warning
and
hurled
herself
onto
the
bed
jealously
so
that
Nately
could
embrace
her
,
too
.
Nately
’
s
whore
sprang
up
snarling
to
whack
her
angrily
and
jerked
her
to
her
feet
by
her
hair
.
The
twelve
-
year
-
old
girl
looked
to
Nately
like
a
plucked
chicken
or
like
a
twig
with
the
bark
peeled
off
her
sapling
body
embarrassed
everyone
in
her
precocious
attempts
to
imitate
her
elders
,
and
she
was
always
being
chased
away
to
put
clothes
on
and
ordered
out
into
the
street
to
play
in
the
fresh
air
with
the
other
children
.
The
two
sisters
swore
and
spat
at
each
other
now
savagely
,
raising
a
fluent
,
deafening
commotion
that
brought
a
whole
crowd
of
hilarious
spectators
swarming
into
the
room
.
Nately
gave
up
in
exasperation
.
He
asked
his
girl
to
get
dressed
and
took
her
downstairs
for
breakfast
.
The
kid
sister
tagged
along
,
and
Nately
felt
like
the
proud
head
of
a
family
as
the
three
of
them
ate
respectably
in
a
nearby
open
-
air
café
.
But
Nately
’
s
whore
was
already
bored
by
the
time
they
started
back
,
and
she
decided
to
go
streetwalking
with
two
other
girls
rather
than
spend
more
time
with
him
.
Nately
and
the
kid
sister
followed
meekly
a
block
behind
,
the
ambitious
youngster
to
pick
up
valuable
pointers
,
Nately
to
eat
his
liver
in
mooning
frustration
,
and
both
were
saddened
when
the
girls
were
stopped
by
soldiers
in
a
staff
car
and
driven
away
Nately
went
back
to
the
café
and
bought
the
kid
sister
chocolate
ice
cream
until
her
spirits
improved
and
then
returned
with
her
to
the
apartment
,
where
Yossarian
and
Dunbar
were
flopped
out
in
the
sitting
room
with
an
exhausted
Hungry
Joe
,
who
was
still
wearing
on
his
battered
face
the
blissful
,
numb
,
triumphant
smile
with
which
he
had
limped
into
view
from
his
massive
harem
that
morning
like
a
person
with
numerous
broken
bones
.
The
lecherous
and
depraved
old
man
was
delighted
with
Hungry
Joe
’
s
split
lips
and
black
-
and
-
blue
eyes
.
He
greeted
Nately
warmly
,
still
wearing
the
same
rumpled
clothes
of
the
evening
before
.
Nately
was
profoundly
upset
by
his
seedy
and
disreputable
appearance
,
and
whenever
he
came
to
the
apartment
he
wished
that
the
corrupt
,
immoral
old
man
would
put
on
a
clean
Brooks
Brothers
shirt
,
shave
,
comb
his
hair
,
wear
a
tweed
jacket
,
and
grow
a
dapper
white
mustache
so
that
Nately
would
not
have
to
suffer
such
confusing
shame
each
time
he
looked
at
him
and
was
reminded
of
his
father
.
April
had
been
the
best
month
of
all
for
Milo
.
Lilacs
bloomed
in
April
and
fruit
ripened
on
the
vine
.
Heartbeats
quickened
and
old
appetites
were
renewed
.
In
April
a
livelier
iris
gleamed
upon
the
burnished
dove
.
April
was
spring
,
and
in
the
spring
Milo
Minderbinder
’
s
fancy
had
lightly
turned
to
thoughts
of
tangerines
.
