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This
I
delivered
in
a
firm
tone
,
like
a
person
who
was
jealous
lest
his
courage
should
be
called
in
question
.
However
,
my
speech
produced
nothing
else
beside
a
laud
laughter
,
which
all
the
respect
due
to
his
majesty
from
those
about
him
could
not
make
them
contain
.
This
made
me
reflect
,
how
vain
an
attempt
it
is
for
a
man
to
endeavour
to
do
himself
honour
among
those
who
are
out
of
all
degree
of
equality
or
comparison
with
him
.
And
yet
I
have
seen
the
moral
of
my
own
behaviour
very
frequent
in
England
since
my
return
;
where
a
little
contemptible
varlet
,
without
the
least
title
to
birth
,
person
,
wit
,
or
common
sense
,
shall
presume
to
look
with
importance
,
and
put
himself
upon
a
foot
with
the
greatest
persons
of
the
kingdom
.
I
was
every
day
furnishing
the
court
with
some
ridiculous
story
:
and
Glumdalclitch
,
although
she
loved
me
to
excess
,
yet
was
arch
enough
to
inform
the
queen
,
whenever
I
committed
any
folly
that
she
thought
would
be
diverting
to
her
majesty
.
The
girl
,
who
had
been
out
of
order
,
was
carried
by
her
governess
to
take
the
air
about
an
hour
's
distance
,
or
thirty
miles
from
town
.
They
alighted
out
of
the
coach
near
a
small
foot-path
in
a
field
,
and
Glumdalclitch
setting
down
my
travelling
box
,
I
went
out
of
it
to
walk
.
There
was
a
cow-dung
in
the
path
,
and
I
must
need
try
my
activity
by
attempting
to
leap
over
it
.
I
took
a
run
,
but
unfortunately
jumped
short
,
and
found
myself
just
in
the
middle
up
to
my
knees
.
I
waded
through
with
some
difficulty
,
and
one
of
the
footmen
wiped
me
as
clean
as
he
could
with
his
handkerchief
,
for
I
was
filthily
bemired
;
and
my
nurse
confined
me
to
my
box
,
till
we
returned
home
;
where
the
queen
was
soon
informed
of
what
had
passed
,
and
the
footmen
spread
it
about
the
court
:
so
that
all
the
mirth
for
some
days
was
at
my
expense
.
I
used
to
attend
the
king
's
levee
once
or
twice
a
week
,
and
had
often
seen
him
under
the
barber
's
hand
,
which
indeed
was
at
first
very
terrible
to
behold
;
for
the
razor
was
almost
twice
as
long
as
an
ordinary
scythe
.
His
majesty
,
according
to
the
custom
of
the
country
,
was
only
shaved
twice
a-week
.
I
once
prevailed
on
the
barber
to
give
me
some
of
the
suds
or
lather
,
out
of
which
I
picked
forty
or
fifty
of
the
strongest
stumps
of
hair
.
I
then
took
a
piece
of
fine
wood
,
and
cut
it
like
the
back
of
a
comb
,
making
several
holes
in
it
at
equal
distances
with
as
small
a
needle
as
I
could
get
from
Glumdalclitch
.
I
fixed
in
the
stumps
so
artificially
,
scraping
and
sloping
them
with
my
knife
toward
the
points
,
that
I
made
a
very
tolerable
comb
;
which
was
a
seasonable
supply
,
my
own
being
so
much
broken
in
the
teeth
,
that
it
was
almost
useless
:
neither
did
I
know
any
artist
in
that
country
so
nice
and
exact
,
as
would
undertake
to
make
me
another
.
And
this
puts
me
in
mind
of
an
amusement
,
wherein
I
spent
many
of
my
leisure
hours
.
I
desired
the
queen
's
woman
to
save
for
me
the
combings
of
her
majesty
's
hair
,
whereof
in
time
I
got
a
good
quantity
;
and
consulting
with
my
friend
the
cabinet-maker
,
who
had
received
general
orders
to
do
little
jobs
for
me
,
I
directed
him
to
make
two
chair-frames
,
no
larger
than
those
I
had
in
my
box
,
and
to
bore
little
holes
with
a
fine
awl
,
round
those
parts
where
I
designed
the
backs
and
seats
;
through
these
holes
I
wove
the
strongest
hairs
I
could
pick
out
,
just
after
the
manner
of
cane
chairs
in
England
.
When
they
were
finished
,
I
made
a
present
of
them
to
her
majesty
;
who
kept
them
in
her
cabinet
,
and
used
to
show
them
for
curiosities
,
as
indeed
they
were
the
wonder
of
every
one
that
beheld
them
.
The
queen
would
have
me
sit
upon
one
of
these
chairs
,
but
I
absolutely
refused
to
obey
her
,
protesting
I
would
rather
die
than
place
a
dishonourable
part
of
my
body
on
those
precious
hairs
,
that
once
adorned
her
majesty
's
head
.
Of
these
hairs
(
(
as
I
had
always
a
mechanical
genius
)
)
I
likewise
made
a
neat
little
purse
,
about
five
feet
long
,
with
her
majesty
's
name
deciphered
in
gold
letters
,
which
I
gave
to
Glumdalclitch
,
by
the
queen
's
consent
.
To
say
the
truth
,
it
was
more
for
show
than
use
,
being
not
of
strength
to
bear
the
weight
of
the
larger
coins
,
and
therefore
she
kept
nothing
in
it
but
some
little
toys
that
girls
are
fond
of
.
The
king
,
who
delighted
in
music
,
had
frequent
concerts
at
court
,
to
which
I
was
sometimes
carried
,
and
set
in
my
box
on
a
table
to
hear
them
:
but
the
noise
was
so
great
that
I
could
hardly
distinguish
the
tunes
.
I
am
confident
that
all
the
drums
and
trumpets
of
a
royal
army
,
beating
and
sounding
together
just
at
your
ears
,
could
not
equal
it
.
My
practice
was
to
have
my
box
removed
from
the
place
where
the
performers
sat
,
as
far
as
I
could
,
then
to
shut
the
doors
and
windows
of
it
,
and
draw
the
window
curtains
;
after
which
I
found
their
music
not
disagreeable
.
I
had
learned
in
my
youth
to
play
a
little
upon
the
spinet
.
Glumdalclitch
kept
one
in
her
chamber
,
and
a
master
attended
twice
a-week
to
teach
her
:
I
called
it
a
spinet
,
because
it
somewhat
resembled
that
instrument
,
and
was
played
upon
in
the
same
manner
.
A
fancy
came
into
my
head
,
that
I
would
entertain
the
king
and
queen
with
an
English
tune
upon
this
instrument
.
But
this
appeared
extremely
difficult
:
for
the
spinet
was
near
sixty
feet
long
,
each
key
being
almost
a
foot
wide
,
so
that
with
my
arms
extended
I
could
not
reach
to
above
five
keys
,
and
to
press
them
down
required
a
good
smart
stroke
with
my
fist
,
which
would
be
too
great
a
labour
,
and
to
no
purpose
.
The
method
I
contrived
was
this
:
I
prepared
two
round
sticks
,
about
the
bigness
of
common
cudgels
;
they
were
thicker
at
one
end
than
the
other
,
and
I
covered
the
thicker
ends
with
pieces
of
a
mouse
's
skin
,
that
by
rapping
on
them
I
might
neither
damage
the
tops
of
the
keys
nor
interrupt
the
sound
.
Before
the
spinet
a
bench
was
placed
,
about
four
feet
below
the
keys
,
and
I
was
put
upon
the
bench
.
I
ran
sideling
upon
it
,
that
way
and
this
,
as
fast
as
I
could
,
banging
the
proper
keys
with
my
two
sticks
,
and
made
a
shift
to
play
a
jig
,
to
the
great
satisfaction
of
both
their
majesties
;
but
it
was
the
most
violent
exercise
I
ever
underwent
;
and
yet
I
could
not
strike
above
sixteen
keys
,
nor
consequently
play
the
bass
and
treble
together
,
as
other
artists
do
;
which
was
a
great
disadvantage
to
my
performance
.
The
king
,
who
,
as
I
before
observed
,
was
a
prince
of
excellent
understanding
,
would
frequently
order
that
I
should
be
brought
in
my
box
,
and
set
upon
the
table
in
his
closet
:
he
would
then
command
me
to
bring
one
of
my
chairs
out
of
the
box
,
and
sit
down
within
three
yards
distance
upon
the
top
of
the
cabinet
,
which
brought
me
almost
to
a
level
with
his
face
.
In
this
manner
I
had
several
conversations
with
him
.
I
one
day
took
the
freedom
to
tell
his
majesty
,
"
that
the
contempt
he
discovered
towards
Europe
,
and
the
rest
of
the
world
,
did
not
seem
answerable
to
those
excellent
qualities
of
mind
that
he
was
master
of
;
that
reason
did
not
extend
itself
with
the
bulk
of
the
body
;
on
the
contrary
,
we
observed
in
our
country
,
that
the
tallest
persons
were
usually
the
least
provided
with
it
;
that
among
other
animals
,
bees
and
ants
had
the
reputation
of
more
industry
,
art
,
and
sagacity
,
than
many
of
the
larger
kinds
;
and
that
,
as
inconsiderable
as
he
took
me
to
be
,
I
hoped
I
might
live
to
do
his
majesty
some
signal
service
.
"
The
king
heard
me
with
attention
,
and
began
to
conceive
a
much
better
opinion
of
me
than
he
had
ever
before
.
He
desired
"
I
would
give
him
as
exact
an
account
of
the
government
of
England
as
I
possibly
could
;
because
,
as
fond
as
princes
commonly
are
of
their
own
customs
(
(
for
so
he
conjectured
of
other
monarchs
,
by
my
former
discourses
)
)
,
he
should
be
glad
to
hear
of
any
thing
that
might
deserve
imitation
.
"
Imagine
with
thyself
,
courteous
reader
,
how
often
I
then
wished
for
the
tongue
of
Demosthenes
or
Cicero
,
that
might
have
enabled
me
to
celebrate
the
praise
of
my
own
dear
native
country
in
a
style
equal
to
its
merits
and
felicity
.
