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- Джон Фоулз
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I
shall
be
hurt
,
lost
,
battered
and
buffeted
.
But
it
will
be
like
being
in
a
gale
of
light
,
after
this
black
hole
.
It
’
s
simply
that
.
He
has
the
secret
of
life
in
him
.
Something
spring
-
like
.
Not
immoral
.
It
’
s
as
if
I
’
d
only
seen
him
at
twilight
;
and
now
suddenly
I
see
him
at
dawn
.
He
is
the
same
,
but
everything
is
different
.
I
looked
in
the
mirror
today
and
I
could
see
it
in
my
eyes
.
They
look
much
older
and
younger
.
It
sounds
impossible
in
words
.
But
that
’
s
exactly
it
.
I
am
older
and
younger
.
I
am
older
because
I
have
learnt
,
I
am
younger
because
a
lot
of
me
consisted
of
things
older
people
had
taught
me
.
All
the
mud
of
their
stale
ideas
on
the
shoe
of
me
.
The
new
shoe
of
me
.
The
power
of
women
!
I
’
ve
never
felt
so
full
of
mysterious
power
.
Men
are
a
joke
.
We
’
re
so
weak
physically
,
so
helpless
with
things
.
Still
,
even
today
.
But
we
’
re
stronger
than
they
are
.
We
can
stand
their
cruelty
.
They
can
’
t
stand
ours
.
I
think
—
I
will
give
myself
to
G
.
P
.
He
can
have
me
.
And
whatever
he
does
to
me
I
shall
still
have
my
woman
-
me
he
can
never
touch
.
All
this
is
wild
talk
.
But
I
feel
full
of
urges
.
New
independence
.
