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- Джон Фоулз
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- Коллекционер
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- Стр. 248/299
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So
I
was
a
bit
nicer
at
supper
-
time
and
said
I
needed
a
bath
(
which
I
did
)
.
He
went
away
,
came
back
,
we
went
up
.
And
there
,
it
seemed
a
sign
,
specially
left
for
me
,
was
a
small
axe
.
It
was
on
the
kitchen
window
-
sill
,
which
is
next
to
the
door
.
He
must
have
been
chopping
wood
outside
and
forgotten
to
hide
it
.
My
always
being
down
here
.
We
passed
indoors
too
quickly
for
me
to
do
anything
then
.
But
I
lay
in
the
bath
and
thought
.
I
decided
it
must
be
done
.
I
had
to
catch
up
the
axe
and
hit
him
with
the
blunt
end
,
knock
him
out
.
I
hadn
’
t
the
least
idea
where
on
the
head
was
the
best
place
to
hit
or
how
hard
it
had
to
be
.
Then
I
asked
to
go
straight
back
.
As
we
went
out
through
the
kitchen
door
,
I
dropped
my
talcum
powder
and
things
and
stood
to
one
side
,
towards
the
window
-
sill
,
as
if
I
was
looking
to
see
where
they
’
d
gone
.
He
did
just
what
I
wanted
and
bent
forward
to
pick
them
up
.
I
wasn
’
t
nervous
,
I
picked
the
axe
up
very
neatly
,
I
didn
’
t
scrape
the
blade
and
it
was
the
blunt
end
.
But
then
.
.
.
it
was
like
waking
up
out
of
a
bad
dream
.
I
had
to
hit
him
and
I
couldn
’
t
but
I
had
to
.
Then
he
began
to
straighten
up
(
all
this
happened
in
a
flash
,
really
)
and
I
did
hit
him
.
But
he
was
turning
and
I
didn
’
t
hit
straight
.
Or
hard
enough
.
I
mean
,
I
lashed
out
in
a
panic
at
the
last
moment
.
He
fell
sideways
,
but
I
knew
he
wasn
’
t
knocked
out
,
he
still
kept
hold
of
me
,
I
suddenly
felt
I
had
to
kill
him
or
he
would
kill
me
.
I
hit
him
again
,
but
he
had
his
arm
up
,
at
the
same
time
he
kicked
out
and
knocked
me
off
my
feet
.
It
was
too
horrible
.
Panting
,
straining
,
like
animals
.
Then
suddenly
I
knew
it
was
—
I
don
’
t
know
,
undignified
.
It
sounds
absurd
,
but
that
was
it
.
Like
a
statue
lying
on
its
side
.
Like
a
fat
woman
trying
to
get
up
off
the
grass
.
We
got
up
,
he
pushed
me
roughly
towards
the
door
,
keeping
a
tight
hold
of
me
.
But
that
was
all
.
I
had
a
funny
feeling
it
was
the
same
for
him
—
disgusting
.
I
thought
someone
may
have
heard
,
even
though
I
couldn
’
t
call
out
.
But
it
was
windy
.
Wet
and
cold
.
No
one
would
have
been
out
.
I
’
ve
been
lying
on
the
bed
.
I
soon
stopped
crying
.
I
’
ve
been
lying
for
hours
in
the
dark
and
thinking
.
