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- Джон Фоулз
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- Коллекционер
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- Стр. 218/299
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And
I
don
’
t
worry
because
I
’
m
not
going
to
be
here
this
time
tomorrow
.
I
’
m
going
to
escape
.
He
’
ll
go
off
after
breakfast
.
He
’
s
going
to
leave
my
lunch
.
So
I
shall
have
four
or
five
hours
(
unless
he
cheats
and
doesn
’
t
get
all
I
’
ve
asked
,
but
he
’
s
never
failed
before
)
.
I
felt
sorry
for
Caliban
this
evening
.
He
will
suffer
when
I
am
gone
.
There
will
be
nothing
left
.
He
’
ll
be
alone
with
all
his
sex
neurosis
and
his
class
neurosis
and
his
uselessness
and
his
emptiness
.
He
’
s
asked
for
it
.
I
’
m
not
really
sorry
.
But
I
’
m
not
absolutely
unsorry
.
November
4th
I
couldn
’
t
write
yesterday
.
Too
fed
up
.
I
was
so
stupid
.
I
got
him
away
all
yesterday
.
I
had
hours
to
escape
.
But
I
never
really
thought
of
the
problems
.
I
saw
myself
scooping
out
handfuls
of
soft
loamy
earth
.
The
nail
was
useless
,
it
wouldn
’
t
dig
the
cement
properly
.
I
thought
it
would
crumble
away
.
It
was
terribly
hard
.
I
took
hours
to
get
one
stone
out
.
There
wasn
’
t
earth
behind
,
but
another
stone
,
a
bigger
one
,
chalk
,
and
I
couldn
’
t
even
find
where
its
edge
was
.
I
got
another
stone
out
of
the
wall
,
but
it
didn
’
t
help
.
There
was
the
same
huge
stone
behind
.
I
began
to
get
desperate
,
I
saw
the
tunnel
was
no
good
.
I
hit
violently
at
the
door
,
I
tried
to
force
it
with
the
nail
,
and
managed
to
hurt
my
hand
.
That
’
s
all
.
All
I
had
at
the
end
was
a
sore
hand
and
broken
fingernails
.
I
’
m
just
not
strong
enough
,
without
tools
.
Even
with
tools
.
In
the
end
I
put
the
stones
back
and
powdered
(
as
well
as
I
could
)
the
cement
and
mixed
it
with
water
and
talcum
powder
to
camouflage
the
hole
.
It
’
s
typical
of
the
states
I
get
in
here
—
I
suddenly
told
myself
that
the
digging
would
have
to
be
done
over
a
number
of
days
,
the
only
stupid
thing
was
to
expect
to
do
it
all
in
one
.
