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It
was
a
month
after
the
evening
of
the
record
.
I
ought
to
have
guessed
,
she
had
been
purring
over
me
for
days
,
giving
me
arch
looks
.
I
thought
it
was
something
to
do
with
Piers
.
And
then
one
evening
I
rang
the
bell
and
then
I
noticed
the
lock
was
up
,
so
I
pushed
the
door
open
and
looked
up
the
stairs
,
at
the
same
time
as
Toinette
looked
down
round
the
door
.
And
we
were
looking
at
each
other
.
After
a
moment
she
came
out
on
the
landing
and
she
was
dressing
.
She
didn
’
t
say
anything
,
she
just
gestured
me
to
come
up
and
into
the
studio
and
what
was
worst
,
I
was
red
,
and
she
was
not
.
She
was
just
amused
.
Don
’
t
look
so
shocked
,
she
said
.
He
’
ll
be
back
in
a
minute
.
He
’
s
just
gone
out
for
.
.
.
but
I
never
heard
what
it
was
,
because
I
went
.
I
’
ve
never
really
analyzed
why
I
was
so
angry
and
so
shocked
and
so
hurt
.
Donald
,
Piers
,
David
,
everyone
knows
she
lives
in
London
as
she
lived
in
Stockholm
—
she
’
s
told
me
herself
,
they
’
ve
told
me
.
And
G
.
P
.
had
told
me
what
he
was
like
.
Отключить рекламу
It
was
not
just
jealousy
.
It
was
that
someone
like
G
.
P
.
could
be
so
close
to
someone
like
her
—
someone
so
real
and
someone
so
shallow
,
so
phoney
,
so
loose
.
But
why
should
he
have
considered
me
at
all
?
There
’
s
not
a
single
reason
.
He
’
s
twenty
-
one
years
older
than
I
am
.
Nine
years
younger
than
D
.
For
days
afterwards
it
wasn
’
t
G
.
P
.
I
was
disgusted
with
,
but
myself
.
At
my
narrow
-
mindedness
.
I
forced
myself
to
meet
,
to
listen
to
Toinette
.
She
didn
’
t
crow
at
all
.
I
think
that
must
have
been
G
.
P
.
’
s
doing
.
He
ordered
her
not
to
.
She
went
back
the
next
day
.
She
said
it
was
to
say
she
was
sorry
.
And
(
her
words
)
,
"
It
just
happened
.
"
Отключить рекламу
I
was
so
jealous
.
They
made
me
feel
older
than
they
were
.
They
were
like
naughty
children
.
Happy
-
with
-
a
-
secret
.
Then
that
I
was
frigid
.
I
couldn
’
t
bear
to
see
G
.
P
.
In
the
end
,
it
must
have
been
a
week
later
,
he
rang
me
up
again
one
evening
at
Caroline
’
s
.
He
didn
’
t
sound
guilty
.
I
said
I
was
too
busy
to
see
him
.
I
wouldn
’
t
go
round
that
evening
,
no
.
If
he
had
pressed
,
I
would
have
refused
.
But
he
seemed
to
be
about
to
ring
off
,
and
I
said
I
’
d
go
round
the
next
day
.
I
so
wanted
him
to
know
I
was
hurt
.
You
can
’
t
be
hurt
over
a
telephone
.
Caroline
said
,
I
think
you
’
re
seeing
too
much
of
him
.
I
said
,
he
’
s
having
an
affaire
with
that
Swedish
girl
.