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I
could
scream
abuse
at
him
all
day
long
;
he
wouldn
t
mind
at
all
.
It
s
me
he
wants
,
my
look
,
my
outside
;
not
my
emotions
or
my
mind
or
my
soul
or
even
my
body
.
Not
anything
human
.
He
s
a
collector
.
That
s
the
great
dead
thing
in
him
.
What
irritates
me
most
about
him
is
his
way
of
speaking
.
Cliche
after
cliche
after
cliche
,
and
all
so
old
-
fashioned
,
as
if
he
s
spent
all
his
life
with
people
over
fifty
.
At
lunch
-
time
today
he
said
,
I
called
in
with
regard
to
those
records
they
ve
placed
on
order
.
I
said
,
Why
don
t
you
just
say
,
"
I
asked
about
those
records
you
ordered
?
"
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He
said
,
I
know
my
English
isn
t
correct
,
but
I
try
to
make
it
correct
.
I
didn
t
argue
.
That
sums
him
up
.
He
s
got
to
be
correct
,
he
s
got
to
do
whatever
was
"
right
"
and
"
nice
"
before
either
of
us
was
born
.
I
know
it
s
pathetic
,
I
know
he
s
a
victim
of
a
miserable
Nonconformist
suburban
world
and
a
miserable
social
class
,
the
horrid
timid
copycatting
genteel
in
-
between
class
.
I
used
to
think
D
and
M
s
class
the
worst
.
All
golf
and
gin
and
bridge
and
cars
and
the
right
accent
and
the
right
money
and
having
been
to
the
right
school
and
hating
the
arts
(
the
theatre
being
a
pantomime
at
Christmas
and
Hay
Fever
by
the
Town
Rep
Picasso
and
Bartok
dirty
words
unless
you
wanted
to
get
a
laugh
)
.
Well
,
that
is
foul
.
But
Caliban
s
England
is
fouler
.
It
makes
me
sick
,
the
blindness
,
deadness
,
out
-
of
-
dateness
,
stodginess
and
,
yes
,
sheer
jealous
malice
of
the
great
bulk
of
England
.
G
.
P
.
talks
about
the
Paris
rat
.
Not
being
able
to
face
England
any
more
.
I
can
understand
that
so
well
.
The
feeling
that
England
stifles
and
smothers
and
crushes
like
a
steamroller
over
everything
fresh
and
green
and
original
.
And
that
s
what
causes
tragic
failures
like
Matthew
Smith
and
Augustus
John
they
ve
done
the
Paris
rat
and
they
live
ever
after
in
the
shadow
of
Gauguin
and
Matisse
or
whoever
it
may
be
just
as
G
.
P
.
says
he
once
lived
under
the
shadow
of
Braque
and
suddenly
woke
up
one
morning
to
realize
that
all
he
had
done
for
five
years
was
a
lie
,
because
it
was
based
on
Braque
s
eyes
and
sensibilities
and
not
his
own
.
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Photography
.
It
s
all
because
there
s
so
little
hope
in
England
that
you
have
to
turn
to
Paris
,
or
somewhere
abroad
.
But
you
have
to
force
yourself
to
accept
the
truth
that
Paris
is
always
an
escape
downwards
(
G
.
P
.
s
words
)
not
saying
anything
against
Paris
,
but
you
have
to
face
up
to
England
and
the
apathy
of
the
environment
(
these
are
all
G
.
P
.
s
words
and
ideas
)
and
the
great
deadweight
of
the
Calibanity
of
England
.