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- Джон Фоулз
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- Коллекционер
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- Стр. 171/299
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I
was
looking
at
him
and
his
face
suddenly
went
minutely
stiff
,
as
if
he
’
d
been
caught
off
guard
.
It
wasn
’
t
done
for
me
to
see
,
it
was
the
minutest
change
in
the
set
of
his
mouth
.
He
just
gave
her
one
look
.
Almost
amused
.
But
his
voice
wasn
’
t
.
It
was
icy
cold
.
I
must
go
now
.
Goodbye
.
The
goodbye
was
for
me
.
It
wrote
me
off
.
Or
it
said
—
so
you
can
put
up
with
this
?
I
mean
(
looking
back
on
it
)
he
seemed
to
be
teaching
me
a
lesson
.
I
had
to
choose
.
Caroline
’
s
way
,
or
his
.
And
he
was
gone
,
we
didn
’
t
even
answer
,
and
Caroline
was
looking
after
him
,
and
shrugging
and
looking
at
me
and
saying
,
well
,
really
.
I
watched
him
go
out
,
his
hands
in
his
pockets
.
I
was
red
.
Caroline
was
furious
,
trying
to
slide
out
of
it
.
(
"
He
’
s
always
like
that
,
he
does
it
deliberately
.
"
)
Sneering
at
his
painting
all
the
way
home
(
"
second
-
rate
Paul
Nash
"
—
ridiculously
unfair
)
.
And
me
feeling
so
angry
with
her
,
and
sorry
for
her
at
the
same
time
.
I
couldn
’
t
speak
.
I
couldn
’
t
be
sorry
for
her
,
but
I
couldn
’
t
tell
her
he
was
right
.
Between
them
Caroline
and
M
have
every
quality
I
hate
in
other
women
.
I
had
a
sort
of
despair
for
days
afterwards
,
thinking
how
much
of
their
rotten
,
pretentious
blood
I
must
have
in
me
.
Of
course
,
there
are
times
when
I
like
Caroline
.
Her
briskness
.
Her
enthusiasm
.
Her
kindness
.
And
even
all
the
pretentiousness
that
’
s
so
horrid
next
to
the
real
thing
—
well
,
it
’
s
better
than
nothing
.
I
used
to
think
the
world
of
her
when
she
came
to
stay
.
I
used
to
love
staying
with
her
.
She
backed
me
up
when
there
was
the
great
family
war
about
my
future
.
All
that
till
I
lived
with
her
and
saw
through
her
.
Grew
up
.
(
I
’
m
being
a
Hard
Young
Woman
.
)
Then
a
week
later
I
ran
into
the
lift
at
the
Tube
and
he
was
the
only
other
person
there
.
I
said
hallo
,
too
brightly
.
Went
red
again
.
He
just
nodded
as
if
he
didn
’
t
want
to
speak
,
and
then
at
the
bottom
(
it
was
vanity
,
I
couldn
’
t
bear
to
be
’
lumped
with
Caroline
)
I
said
,
I
’
m
sorry
my
aunt
said
that
at
Kenwood
.
He
said
,
she
always
irritates
me
.
I
knew
he
didn
’
t
want
to
talk
about
it
.
As
we
went
towards
the
platform
,
I
said
,
she
’
s
frightened
of
seeming
behind
the
times
.
Aren
’
t
you
?
—
and
he
gave
me
one
of
his
dry
little
smiles
.
I
thought
,
he
doesn
’
t
like
me
playing
at
"
us
"
against
"
her
.
"
We
were
passing
a
film
poster
and
he
said
,
that
’
s
a
good
film
.
Have
you
seen
it
?
Do
.
When
we
came
out
on
the
platform
,
he
said
,
come
round
one
day
.
But
leave
your
bloody
aunt
at
home
.
And
he
smiled
.
A
little
infectious
mischievous
smile
.
Not
his
age
,
at
all
.
Then
he
walked
off
.
