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- Джон Фоулз
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- Коллекционер
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- Стр. 161/299
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When
I
first
met
him
I
told
everyone
how
marvellous
he
was
.
Then
a
reaction
set
in
,
I
thought
I
was
getting
a
silly
schoolgirl
hero
-
pash
on
him
,
and
the
other
thing
began
to
happen
.
It
was
all
too
emotional
.
Because
he
’
s
changed
me
more
than
anything
or
anybody
.
More
than
London
,
more
than
the
Slade
.
It
’
s
not
just
that
he
’
s
seen
so
much
more
life
.
Had
so
much
more
artistic
experience
.
And
is
known
.
But
he
says
exactly
what
he
thinks
,
and
he
always
makes
me
think
.
That
’
s
the
big
thing
.
He
makes
me
question
myself
.
How
many
times
have
I
disagreed
with
him
?
And
then
a
week
later
with
someone
else
I
find
I
’
m
arguing
as
he
would
argue
.
Judging
people
by
his
standards
.
He
’
s
chipped
off
all
(
well
,
some
of
,
anyway
)
my
silliness
,
my
stupid
fussy
frilly
ideas
about
life
and
art
,
and
modern
art
.
My
feyness
.
I
’
ve
never
been
the
same
since
he
told
me
how
he
hated
fey
women
.
I
even
learnt
the
word
from
him
.
List
of
the
ways
in
which
he
has
altered
me
.
Either
directly
.
Or
confirmed
alterations
in
progress
.
1
.
If
you
are
a
real
artist
,
you
give
your
whole
being
to
your
art
.
Anything
short
of
that
,
then
you
are
not
an
artist
.
Not
what
G
.
P
.
calls
a
"
maker
.
"
2
.
You
don
’
t
gush
.
You
don
’
t
have
little
set
-
pieces
or
set
-
ideas
you
gush
out
to
impress
people
with
.
3
.
You
have
to
be
Left
politically
because
the
Socialists
are
the
only
people
who
care
,
for
all
their
mistakes
.
They
feel
,
they
want
to
better
the
world
.
4
.
You
must
make
,
always
.
You
must
act
,
if
you
believe
something
.
Talking
about
acting
is
like
boasting
about
pic
-
tures
you
’
re
going
to
paint
.
The
most
terrible
bad
form
.