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Then
,
with
the
water
running
off
him
,
he
got
into
an
old
smock
and
skirt
that
had
belonged
to
his
grandmother
and
bought
a
grammar
of
the
bulls
language
to
study
but
he
could
never
learn
a
word
of
it
except
the
first
personal
pronoun
which
he
copied
out
big
and
got
off
by
heart
and
if
ever
he
went
out
for
a
walk
he
filled
his
pockets
with
chalk
to
write
it
upon
what
took
his
fancy
,
the
side
of
a
rock
or
a
teahouse
table
or
a
bale
of
cotton
or
a
corkfloat
.
In
short
,
he
and
the
bull
of
Ireland
were
soon
as
fast
friends
as
an
arse
and
a
shirt
.
They
were
,
says
Mr
Stephen
,
and
the
end
was
that
the
men
of
the
island
seeing
no
help
was
toward
,
as
the
ungrate
women
were
all
of
one
mind
,
made
a
wherry
raft
,
loaded
themselves
and
their
bundles
of
chattels
on
shipboard
,
set
all
masts
erect
,
manned
the
yards
,
sprang
their
luff
,
heaved
to
,
spread
three
sheets
in
the
wind
,
put
her
head
between
wind
and
water
,
weighed
anchor
,
ported
her
helm
,
ran
up
the
jolly
Roger
,
gave
three
times
three
,
let
the
bullgine
run
,
pushed
off
in
their
bumboat
and
put
to
sea
to
recover
the
main
of
America
.
Which
was
the
occasion
,
says
Mr
Vincent
,
of
the
composing
by
a
boatswain
of
that
rollicking
chanty
:
Pope
Peter
s
but
a
pissabed
.
A
man
s
a
man
for
a
that
.
Отключить рекламу
Our
worthy
acquaintance
Mr
Malachi
Mulligan
now
appeared
in
the
doorway
as
the
students
were
finishing
their
apologue
accompanied
with
a
friend
whom
he
had
just
rencountered
,
a
young
gentleman
,
his
name
Alec
Bannon
,
who
had
late
come
to
town
,
it
being
his
intention
to
buy
a
colour
or
a
cornetcy
in
the
fencibles
and
list
for
the
wars
.
Mr
Mulligan
was
civil
enough
to
express
some
relish
of
it
all
the
more
as
it
jumped
with
a
project
of
his
own
for
the
cure
of
the
very
evil
that
had
been
touched
on
.
Whereat
he
handed
round
to
the
company
a
set
of
pasteboard
cards
which
he
had
had
printed
that
day
at
Mr
Quinnell
s
bearing
a
legend
printed
in
fair
italics
:
Mr
Malachi
Mulligan
.
Fertiliser
and
Incubator
.
Lambay
Island
.
His
project
,
as
he
went
on
to
expound
,
was
to
withdraw
from
the
round
of
idle
pleasures
such
as
form
the
chief
business
of
sir
Fopling
Popinjay
and
sir
Milksop
Quidnunc
in
town
and
to
devote
himself
to
the
noblest
task
for
which
our
bodily
organism
has
been
framed
.
Well
,
let
us
hear
of
it
,
good
my
friend
,
said
Mr
Dixon
.
I
make
no
doubt
it
smacks
of
wenching
.
Come
,
be
seated
,
both
.
Tis
as
cheap
sitting
as
standing
.
Mr
Mulligan
accepted
of
the
invitation
and
,
expatiating
upon
his
design
,
told
his
hearers
that
he
had
been
led
into
this
thought
by
a
consideration
of
the
causes
of
sterility
,
both
the
inhibitory
and
the
prohibitory
,
whether
the
inhibition
in
its
turn
were
due
to
conjugal
vexations
or
to
a
parsimony
of
the
balance
as
well
as
whether
the
prohibition
proceeded
from
defects
congenital
or
from
proclivities
acquired
.
It
grieved
him
plaguily
,
he
said
,
to
see
the
nuptial
couch
defrauded
of
its
dearest
pledges
:
and
to
reflect
upon
so
many
agreeable
females
with
rich
jointures
,
a
prey
to
the
vilest
bonzes
,
who
hide
their
flambeau
under
a
bushel
in
an
uncongenial
cloister
or
lose
their
womanly
bloom
in
the
embraces
of
some
unaccountable
muskin
when
they
might
multiply
the
inlets
of
happiness
,
sacrificing
the
inestimable
jewel
of
their
sex
when
a
hundred
pretty
fellows
were
at
hand
to
caress
,
this
,
he
assured
them
,
made
his
heart
weep
.
To
curb
this
inconvenient
(
which
he
concluded
due
to
a
suppression
of
latent
heat
)
,
having
advised
with
certain
counsellors
of
worth
and
inspected
into
this
matter
,
he
had
resolved
to
purchase
in
fee
simple
for
ever
the
freehold
of
Lambay
island
from
its
holder
,
lord
Talbot
de
Malahide
,
a
Tory
gentleman
of
note
much
in
favour
with
our
ascendancy
party
.
He
proposed
to
set
up
there
a
national
fertilising
farm
to
be
named
Omphalos
with
an
obelisk
hewn
and
erected
after
the
fashion
of
Egypt
and
to
offer
his
dutiful
yeoman
services
for
the
fecundation
of
any
female
of
what
grade
of
life
soever
who
should
there
direct
to
him
with
the
desire
of
fulfilling
the
functions
of
her
natural
.
Money
was
no
object
,
he
said
,
nor
would
he
take
a
penny
for
his
pains
.
The
poorest
kitchenwench
no
less
than
the
opulent
lady
of
fashion
,
if
so
be
their
constructions
and
their
tempers
were
warm
persuaders
for
their
petitions
,
would
find
in
him
their
man
.
For
his
nutriment
he
shewed
how
he
would
feed
himself
exclusively
upon
a
diet
of
savoury
tubercles
and
fish
and
coneys
there
,
the
flesh
of
these
latter
prolific
rodents
being
highly
recommended
for
his
purpose
,
both
broiled
and
stewed
with
a
blade
of
mace
and
a
pod
or
two
of
capsicum
chillies
.
After
this
homily
which
he
delivered
with
much
warmth
of
asseveration
Mr
Mulligan
in
a
trice
put
off
from
his
hat
a
kerchief
with
which
he
had
shielded
it
.
They
both
,
it
seems
,
had
been
overtaken
by
the
rain
and
for
all
their
mending
their
pace
had
taken
water
,
as
might
be
observed
by
Mr
Mulligan
s
smallclothes
of
a
hodden
grey
which
was
now
somewhat
piebald
.
His
project
meanwhile
was
very
favourably
entertained
by
his
auditors
and
won
hearty
eulogies
from
all
though
Mr
Dixon
of
Mary
s
excepted
to
it
,
asking
with
a
finicking
air
did
he
purpose
also
to
carry
coals
to
Newcastle
.
Mr
Mulligan
however
made
court
to
the
scholarly
by
an
apt
quotation
from
the
classics
which
,
as
it
dwelt
upon
his
memory
,
seemed
to
him
a
sound
and
tasteful
support
of
his
contention
:
Talis
ac
tanta
depravatio
hujus
seculi
,
O
quirites
,
ut
matresfamiliarum
nostrae
lascivas
cujuslibet
semiviri
libici
titillationes
testibus
ponderosis
atque
excelsis
erectionibus
centurionum
Romanorum
magnopere
anteponunt
,
while
for
those
of
ruder
wit
he
drove
home
his
point
by
analogies
of
the
animal
kingdom
more
suitable
to
their
stomach
,
the
buck
and
doe
of
the
forest
glade
,
the
farmyard
drake
and
duck
.
Отключить рекламу
Valuing
himself
not
a
little
upon
his
elegance
,
being
indeed
a
proper
man
of
person
,
this
talkative
now
applied
himself
to
his
dress
with
animadversions
of
some
heat
upon
the
sudden
whimsy
of
the
atmospherics
while
the
company
lavished
their
encomiums
upon
the
project
he
had
advanced
.
The
young
gentleman
,
his
friend
,
overjoyed
as
he
was
at
a
passage
that
had
late
befallen
him
,
could
not
forbear
to
tell
it
his
nearest
neighbour
.
Mr
Mulligan
,
now
perceiving
the
table
,
asked
for
whom
were
those
loaves
and
fishes
and
,
seeing
the
stranger
,
he
made
him
a
civil
bow
and
said
,
Pray
,
sir
,
was
you
in
need
of
any
professional
assistance
we
could
give
?
Who
,
upon
his
offer
,
thanked
him
very
heartily
,
though
preserving
his
proper
distance
,
and
replied
that
he
was
come
there
about
a
lady
,
now
an
inmate
of
Horne
s
house
,
that
was
in
an
interesting
condition
,
poor
body
,
from
woman
s
woe
(
and
here
he
fetched
a
deep
sigh
)
to
know
if
her
happiness
had
yet
taken
place
.
Mr
Dixon
,
to
turn
the
table
,
took
on
to
ask
of
Mr
Mulligan
himself
whether
his
incipient
ventripotence
,
upon
which
he
rallied
him
,
betokened
an
ovoblastic
gestation
in
the
prostatic
utricle
or
male
womb
or
was
due
,
as
with
the
noted
physician
,
Mr
Austin
Meldon
,
to
a
wolf
in
the
stomach
.
For
answer
Mr
Mulligan
,
in
a
gale
of
laughter
at
his
smalls
,
smote
himself
bravely
below
the
diaphragm
,
exclaiming
with
an
admirable
droll
mimic
of
Mother
Grogan
(
the
most
excellent
creature
of
her
sex
though
tis
pity
she
s
a
trollop
)
:
There
s
a
belly
that
never
bore
a
bastard
.
This
was
so
happy
a
conceit
that
it
renewed
the
storm
of
mirth
and
threw
the
whole
room
into
the
most
violent
agitations
of
delight
.
The
spry
rattle
had
run
on
in
the
same
vein
of
mimicry
but
for
some
larum
in
the
antechamber
.
Here
the
listener
who
was
none
other
than
the
Scotch
student
,
a
little
fume
of
a
fellow
,
blond
as
tow
,
congratulated
in
the
liveliest
fashion
with
the
young
gentleman
and
,
interrupting
the
narrative
at
a
salient
point
,
having
desired
his
visavis
with
a
polite
beck
to
have
the
obligingness
to
pass
him
a
flagon
of
cordial
waters
at
the
same
time
by
a
questioning
poise
of
the
head
(
a
whole
century
of
polite
breeding
had
not
achieved
so
nice
a
gesture
)
to
which
was
united
an
equivalent
but
contrary
balance
of
the
bottle
asked
the
narrator
as
plainly
as
was
ever
done
in
words
if
he
might
treat
him
with
a
cup
of
it
.
Mais
bien
sûr
,
noble
stranger
,
said
he
cheerily
,
et
mille
compliments
.
That
you
may
and
very
opportunely
.
There
wanted
nothing
but
this
cup
to
crown
my
felicity
.
But
,
gracious
heaven
,
was
I
left
with
but
a
crust
in
my
wallet
and
a
cupful
of
water
from
the
well
,
my
God
,
I
would
accept
of
them
and
find
it
in
my
heart
to
kneel
down
upon
the
ground
and
give
thanks
to
the
powers
above
for
the
happiness
vouchsafed
me
by
the
Giver
of
good
things
.
With
these
words
he
approached
the
goblet
to
his
lips
,
took
a
complacent
draught
of
the
cordial
,
slicked
his
hair
and
,
opening
his
bosom
,
out
popped
a
locket
that
hung
from
a
silk
riband
,
that
very
picture
which
he
had
cherished
ever
since
her
hand
had
wrote
therein
.