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- Даниэл Киз
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"
But
,
Charlie
,
it
’
s
to
be
expected
.
You
’
re
a
new
swimmer
forced
off
a
diving
raft
and
terrified
of
losing
the
solid
wood
under
your
feet
.
Mr
.
Donner
was
good
to
you
,
and
you
were
sheltered
all
these
years
.
Being
driven
out
of
the
bakery
this
way
is
an
even
greater
shock
than
you
expected
.
"
"
Knowing
it
intellectually
doesn
’
t
help
.
I
can
’
t
sit
alone
in
my
room
any
more
.
I
wander
into
the
streets
at
all
hours
of
the
day
or
night
,
not
knowing
what
Im
looking
for
.
.
.
walking
until
I
’
m
lost
.
.
.
finding
myself
outside
the
bakery
.
Last
night
I
walked
all
the
way
from
Washington
Square
to
Central
Park
,
and
I
slept
in
the
park
.
"
What
the
hell
am
I
searching
for
?
"
The
more
I
talked
,
the
more
upset
she
became
.
"
What
can
I
do
to
help
you
,
Charlie
?
"
"
I
don
’
t
know
.
I
’
m
like
an
animal
who
’
s
been
locked
out
of
his
nice
,
safe
cage
.
"
She
sat
beside
me
on
the
couch
.
"
They
’
re
pushing
you
too
fast
.
You
’
re
confused
.
You
want
to
be
an
adult
,
but
there
’
s
still
a
little
boy
inside
you
.
Alone
and
frightened
.
"
She
put
my
head
on
her
shoulder
,
trying
to
comfort
me
,
and
as
she
stroked
my
hair
I
knew
that
she
needed
me
the
way
I
needed
her
.
"
Charlie
,
"
she
whispered
after
a
while
,
"
whatever
you
want
.
.
.
don
’
t
be
afraid
of
me
—
"
I
wanted
to
tell
her
I
was
waiting
for
the
panic
.
Once
—
during
a
bakery
delivery
—
Charlie
had
nearly
fainted
when
a
middle
-
aged
woman
,
just
out
of
the
bath
,
amused
herself
by
opening
her
bathrobe
and
exposing
her
self
.
Had
he
ever
seen
a
woman
without
clothes
on
?
Did
he
know
how
to
make
love
?
His
terror
—
his
whining
—
must
have
frightened
her
because
she
clutched
her
robe
together
and
gave
him
a
quarter
to
forget
what
had
happened
.
She
was
only
testing
him
,
she
warned
,
to
see
if
he
was
a
good
boy
.
He
tried
to
be
good
,
he
told
her
,
and
not
look
at
women
,
because
his
mother
used
to
beat
him
whenever
that
happened
in
his
pants
.
.
.
.
