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- Даниэл Киз
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"
It
doesn
’
t
help
to
tell
myself
that
.
Those
people
—
for
all
these
years
—
were
my
family
.
It
was
like
being
thrown
out
of
my
own
home
.
"
"
That
’
s
just
it
,
"
she
said
.
"
This
has
become
a
symbolic
repetition
of
experiences
you
had
as
a
child
.
Being
rejected
by
your
parents
.
.
.
being
sent
away
.
.
.
"
"
Oh
,
Christ
!
Never
mind
giving
it
a
nice
neat
label
.
What
matters
is
that
before
I
got
involved
in
this
experi
ment
I
had
friends
,
people
who
cared
for
me
.
Now
I
’
m
afraid
.
.
.
"
"
You
’
ve
still
got
friends
.
"
"
It
’
s
not
the
same
.
"
"
Fear
is
a
normal
reaction
.
"
"
It
’
s
more
than
that
.
I
’
ve
been
afraid
before
.
Afraid
of
being
strapped
for
not
giving
in
to
Norma
,
afraid
of
passing
Howells
Street
where
the
gang
used
to
tease
me
and
push
me
around
.
And
I
was
afraid
of
the
schoolteacher
,
Mrs
.
Libby
,
who
tied
my
hands
so
I
wouldn
’
t
fidget
with
things
on
my
desk
.
But
those
things
were
real
—
something
I
was
justified
in
being
afraid
of
.
This
terror
at
being
kicked
out
of
the
bakery
is
vague
,
a
fear
I
dont
understand
.
"
"
Get
hold
of
yourself
"
"
You
don
’
t
feel
the
panic
.
"
