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"
I
can
t
believe
you
want
to
be
completely
alone
.
"
"
I
do
.
"
"
We
had
a
little
time
together
before
we
got
out
of
touch
.
We
had
things
to
talk
about
,
and
things
to
do
to
­
gether
.
It
didn
t
last
very
long
but
it
was
something
.
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Look
,
we
ve
known
this
might
happen
.
It
was
no
secret
.
I
didn
t
go
away
,
Charlie
,
I
ve
just
been
waiting
.
You
re
about
at
my
level
again
,
aren
t
you
?
"
I
stormed
around
the
apartment
.
"
But
that
s
crazy
.
There
s
nothing
to
look
forward
to
.
I
don
t
dare
let
myself
think
ahead
only
back
.
In
a
few
months
,
weeks
,
days
who
the
hell
knows
?
I
ll
go
back
to
Warren
.
You
can
t
follow
me
there
.
"
"
No
,
"
she
admitted
,
"
and
I
probably
won
t
even
visit
you
there
.
Once
you
re
in
Warren
I
ll
do
my
best
to
forget
you
.
I
m
not
going
to
pretend
otherwise
.
But
until
you
go
,
there
s
no
reason
for
either
of
us
to
be
alone
.
"
Before
I
could
say
anything
,
she
kissed
me
.
I
waited
,
as
she
sat
beside
me
on
the
couch
,
resting
her
head
against
my
chest
,
but
the
panic
didn
t
come
.
Alice
was
a
woman
,
but
perhaps
now
Charlie
would
understand
that
she
wasn
t
his
mother
or
his
sister
.
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With
the
relief
of
knowing
I
had
passed
through
a
cri
­
sis
,
I
sighed
because
there
was
nothing
to
hold
me
back
It
was
no
time
for
fear
or
pretense
,
because
it
could
never
be
this
way
with
anyone
else
.
All
the
barriers
were
gone
.
I
had
unwound
the
string
she
had
given
me
,
and
found
my
way
out
of
the
labyrinth
to
where
she
was
waiting
.
I
loved
her
with
more
than
my
body
.
I
don
t
pretend
to
understand
the
mystery
of
love
,
but
this
time
it
was
more
than
sex
,
more
than
using
a
woman
s
body
.
It
was
being
lifted
off
the
earth
,
outside
fear
and
tor
­
ment
,
being
part
of
something
greater
than
myself
.
I
was
lifted
out
of
the
dark
cell
of
my
own
mind
,
to
become
part
of
someone
else
just
as
I
had
experienced
it
that
day
on
the
couch
in
therapy
.
It
was
the
first
step
outward
to
the
universe
beyond
the
universe
because
in
it
and
with
it
we
merged
to
recreate
and
perpetuate
the
human
spirit
.
Expanding
and
bursting
outward
,
and
contracting
and
forming
inward
,
it
was
the
rhythm
of
being
of
breath
­
ing
,
of
heartbeat
,
of
day
and
night
and
the
rhythm
of
our
bodies
set
off
an
echo
in
my
mind
.
It
was
the
way
it
had
been
back
there
in
that
strange
vision
.
The
gray
murk
lifted
from
my
mind
,
and
through
it
the
light
pierced
into
my
brain
(
how
strange
that
light
should
blind
!
)
,
and
my
body
was
absorbed
back
into
a
great
sea
of
space
,
washed
under
in
a
strange
baptism
.
My
body
shuddered
with
giv
­
ing
,
and
her
body
shuddered
its
acceptance
.