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I
was
now
to
consider
which
way
to
steer
my
course
next
,
and
what
to
do
with
the
estate
that
Providence
has
thus
put
into
my
hands
;
and
,
indeed
,
I
had
more
care
upon
my
head
now
than
I
had
in
my
silent
state
of
life
in
the
island
,
where
I
wanted
nothing
but
what
I
had
,
and
had
nothing
but
what
I
wanted
;
where
as
I
had
now
a
great
charge
upon
me
,
and
my
business
was
how
to
secure
it
.
I
had
neer
a
cave
now
to
hide
my
money
in
,
or
a
place
where
it
might
lie
without
lock
or
key
till
it
grew
mouldy
and
tarnished
before
anybody
would
meddle
with
it
.
On
the
contrary
,
I
knew
not
where
to
put
it
,
or
whom
to
trust
with
it
.
My
old
patron
,
the
captain
,
indeed
,
was
honest
,
and
that
was
the
only
refuge
I
had
.
In
the
next
place
,
my
interest
in
the
Brazils
seemed
to
summon
me
thither
;
but
now
I
could
not
tell
how
to
think
of
going
thither
till
I
had
settled
my
affairs
,
and
left
my
affects
in
some
safe
hands
behind
me
.
At
first
I
thought
of
my
old
friend
the
widow
who
I
knew
was
honest
,
and
would
be
just
to
me
;
but
then
she
was
in
years
,
and
but
poor
,
and
for
aught
I
knew
might
be
in
debt
;
so
that
,
in
a
word
,
I
had
no
way
but
to
go
back
to
England
myself
,
and
take
my
effects
with
me
.
It
was
some
months
,
however
,
before
I
resolved
upon
this
;
and
therefore
,
as
I
had
rewarded
the
old
captain
fully
,
and
to
his
satisfaction
,
who
had
been
my
former
benefactor
,
so
I
began
to
think
of
my
poor
widow
,
whose
husband
had
been
my
first
benefactor
,
and
she
,
while
it
was
in
her
power
,
my
faithful
steward
and
instructor
.
So
the
first
thing
I
did
,
I
got
a
merchant
in
Lisbon
to
write
his
correspondent
in
London
,
not
only
to
pay
a
bill
,
but
to
go
find
her
out
,
and
carry
her
in
money
a
hundred
pounds
from
me
,
and
to
talk
with
her
,
and
comfort
her
in
her
poverty
,
by
telling
her
she
should
,
if
I
lived
,
have
a
further
supply
.
At
the
same
time
I
sent
my
two
sisters
in
the
country
each
of
them
an
hundred
pounds
,
they
being
,
though
not
in
want
,
yet
not
in
very
good
circumstances
;
one
having
been
married
,
and
left
a
widow
;
and
the
other
having
a
husband
not
so
kind
to
her
as
he
should
be
.
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But
among
all
my
relations
or
acquaintances
,
I
could
not
yet
pitch
upon
one
to
whom
I
durst
commit
the
gross
of
my
stock
,
that
I
might
go
away
to
the
Brazils
,
and
leave
things
safe
behind
me
;
and
this
greatly
perplexed
me
.
I
had
once
a
mind
to
have
gone
to
the
Brazils
and
have
settled
myself
there
,
for
I
was
,
as
it
were
,
naturalized
to
the
place
.
But
I
had
some
little
scruple
in
my
mind
about
religion
,
which
insensibly
drew
me
back
,
of
which
I
shall
say
more
presently
.
However
,
it
was
not
religion
that
kept
me
from
going
there
for
the
present
;
and
as
I
had
made
no
scruple
of
being
openly
of
the
religion
of
the
country
all
the
while
I
was
among
them
,
so
neither
did
I
yet
;
only
that
,
now
and
then
,
having
the
late
thought
more
of
than
formerly
,
when
I
began
to
think
of
living
and
dying
among
them
,
I
began
to
regret
my
having
professed
myself
a
papist
,
and
thought
it
might
not
be
the
best
religion
to
die
with
.
But
,
as
I
have
said
,
this
was
not
the
main
thing
that
kept
me
from
going
to
the
Brazils
,
but
that
really
I
did
not
know
with
whom
to
leave
my
effects
beind
me
;
so
I
resolved
,
at
last
,
to
go
to
England
with
it
,
where
,
if
arrived
,
I
concluded
I
should
make
some
acquaintance
,
or
find
some
relations
,
that
would
be
faithful
to
me
;
and
accordingly
I
prepared
to
go
for
England
,
with
all
my
wealth
.
In
order
to
prepare
things
for
my
going
home
,
I
first
,
the
Brazil
fleet
being
just
going
away
,
resolved
to
give
answers
suitable
to
the
just
and
faithful
account
of
things
I
had
from
thence
.
And
first
,
to
the
prior
of
St.
Augustine
I
wrote
a
letter
full
of
thanks
for
their
just
dealings
,
and
the
offer
of
the
872
moidores
which
was
undisposed
of
,
which
I
desired
might
be
given
,
500
to
the
monastery
,
and
372
to
the
poor
,
as
the
prior
should
direct
,
desiring
the
good
padre
's
prayers
for
me
,
and
the
like
.
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I
wrote
next
a
letter
of
thanks
to
my
two
trustees
,
with
all
the
acknowledgment
that
so
much
justice
and
honesty
called
for
.
As
for
sending
them
any
present
,
they
were
far
above
having
any
occasion
of
it
.
Lastly
,
I
wrote
to
my
partner
,
acknowledging
his
industry
in
the
improving
the
plantation
,
and
his
integrity
in
increasing
the
stock
of
the
works
,
giving
him
instructions
for
his
future
government
of
my
part
,
according
to
the
powers
I
had
left
with
my
old
patron
,
to
whom
I
desired
him
to
send
whatever
became
due
to
me
till
he
should
hear
from
me
more
particularly
;
assuring
him
that
it
was
my
intention
not
only
to
come
to
him
,
but
to
settle
myself
there
for
the
remainder
of
my
life
.
To
this
I
added
a
very
handsome
present
of
some
Italian
silks
for
his
wife
and
two
daughters
,
for
such
the
captain
's
son
informed
me
he
had
,
with
two
pieces
of
fine
English
broadcloth
,
and
best
I
could
get
in
Lisbon
,
five
pieces
of
black
baize
,
and
some
Flanders
lace
of
a
good
value
.