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Guppy
and
Smallweed
finish
theirs
,
thus
getting
over
the
ground
in
excellent
style
and
beating
those
two
gentlemen
easily
by
a
veal
and
ham
and
a
cabbage
.
"
Now
,
Small
,
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
,
"
what
would
you
recommend
about
pastry
?
"
"
Marrow
puddings
,
"
says
Mr
.
Smallweed
instantly
.
"
Aye
,
aye
!
"
cries
Mr
.
Jobling
with
an
arch
look
.
"
You
’
re
there
,
are
you
?
Thank
you
,
Mr
.
Guppy
,
I
don
’
t
know
but
what
I
WILL
take
a
marrow
pudding
.
"
Three
marrow
puddings
being
produced
,
Mr
.
Jobling
adds
in
a
pleasant
humour
that
he
is
coming
of
age
fast
.
To
these
succeed
,
by
command
of
Mr
.
Smallweed
,
"
three
Cheshires
,
"
and
to
those
"
three
small
rums
.
"
This
apex
of
the
entertainment
happily
reached
,
Mr
.
Jobling
puts
up
his
legs
on
the
carpeted
seat
(
having
his
own
side
of
the
box
to
himself
)
,
leans
against
the
wall
,
and
says
,
"
I
am
grown
up
now
,
Guppy
.
I
have
arrived
at
maturity
.
"
"
What
do
you
think
,
now
,
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
,
"
about
—
you
don
’
t
mind
Smallweed
?
"
"
Not
the
least
in
the
world
.
I
have
the
pleasure
of
drinking
his
good
health
.
"
"
Sir
,
to
you
!
"
says
Mr
.
Smallweed
.
"
I
was
saying
,
what
do
you
think
NOW
,
"
pursues
Mr
.
Guppy
,
"
of
enlisting
?
"
"
Why
,
what
I
may
think
after
dinner
,
"
returns
Mr
.
Jobling
,
"
is
one
thing
,
my
dear
Guppy
,
and
what
I
may
think
before
dinner
is
another
thing
.
Still
,
even
after
dinner
,
I
ask
myself
the
question
,
What
am
I
to
do
?
How
am
I
to
live
?
Ill
fo
manger
,
you
know
,
"
says
Mr
.
Jobling
,
pronouncing
that
word
as
if
he
meant
a
necessary
fixture
in
an
English
stable
.
"
Ill
fo
manger
.
That
’
s
the
French
saying
,
and
mangering
is
as
necessary
to
me
as
it
is
to
a
Frenchman
.
Or
more
so
.
"
Mr
.
Smallweed
is
decidedly
of
opinion
"
much
more
so
.
"
"
If
any
man
had
told
me
,
"
pursues
Jobling
,
"
even
so
lately
as
when
you
and
I
had
the
frisk
down
in
Lincolnshire
,
Guppy
,
and
drove
over
to
see
that
house
at
Castle
Wold
—
"
Mr
.
Smallweed
corrects
him
—
Chesney
Wold
.
"
Chesney
Wold
.
(
I
thank
my
honourable
friend
for
that
cheer
.
)
If
any
man
had
told
me
then
that
I
should
be
as
hard
up
at
the
present
time
as
I
literally
find
myself
,
I
should
have
—
well
,
I
should
have
pitched
into
him
,
"
says
Mr
.
Jobling
,
taking
a
little
rum
-
and
-
water
with
an
air
of
desperate
resignation
;
"
I
should
have
let
fly
at
his
head
.
"
"
Still
,
Tony
,
you
were
on
the
wrong
side
of
the
post
then
,
"
remonstrates
Mr
.
Guppy
.
"
You
were
talking
about
nothing
else
in
the
gig
.
"
"
Guppy
,
"
says
Mr
.
Jobling
,
"
I
will
not
deny
it
.
I
was
on
the
wrong
side
of
the
post
.
But
I
trusted
to
things
coming
round
.
"
That
very
popular
trust
in
flat
things
coming
round
!
Not
in
their
being
beaten
round
,
or
worked
round
,
but
in
their
"
coming
"
round
!
As
though
a
lunatic
should
trust
in
the
world
’
s
"
coming
"
triangular
!
"
I
had
confident
expectations
that
things
would
come
round
and
be
all
square
,
"
says
Mr
.
Jobling
with
some
vagueness
of
expression
and
perhaps
of
meaning
too
.
"
But
I
was
disappointed
.
They
never
did
.
And
when
it
came
to
creditors
making
rows
at
the
office
and
to
people
that
the
office
dealt
with
making
complaints
about
dirty
trifles
of
borrowed
money
,
why
there
was
an
end
of
that
connexion
.
And
of
any
new
professional
connexion
too
,
for
if
I
was
to
give
a
reference
to
-
morrow
,
it
would
be
mentioned
and
would
sew
me
up
.
Then
what
’
s
a
fellow
to
do
?
I
have
been
keeping
out
of
the
way
and
living
cheap
down
about
the
market
-
gardens
,
but
what
’
s
the
use
of
living
cheap
when
you
have
got
no
money
?
You
might
as
well
live
dear
.
"
"
Better
,
"
Mr
.
Smallweed
thinks
.
"
Certainly
.
It
’
s
the
fashionable
way
;
and
fashion
and
whiskers
have
been
my
weaknesses
,
and
I
don
’
t
care
who
knows
it
,
"
says
Mr
.
Jobling
.
"
They
are
great
weaknesses
—
Damme
,
sir
,
they
are
great
.
Well
,
"
proceeds
Mr
.
Jobling
after
a
defiant
visit
to
his
rum
-
and
-
water
,
"
what
can
a
fellow
do
,
I
ask
you
,
BUT
enlist
?
"
Mr
.
Guppy
comes
more
fully
into
the
conversation
to
state
what
,
in
his
opinion
,
a
fellow
can
do
.
His
manner
is
the
gravely
impressive
manner
of
a
man
who
has
not
committed
himself
in
life
otherwise
than
as
he
has
become
the
victim
of
a
tender
sorrow
of
the
heart
.
"
Jobling
,
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
,
"
myself
and
our
mutual
friend
Smallweed
—
"
Mr
.
Smallweed
modestly
observes
,
"
Gentlemen
both
!
"
and
drinks
.
"
—
Have
had
a
little
conversation
on
this
matter
more
than
once
since
you
—
"
"
Say
,
got
the
sack
!
"
cries
Mr
.
Jobling
bitterly
.
"
Say
it
,
Guppy
.
You
mean
it
.
"
"
No
-
o
-
o
!
Left
the
Inn
,
"
Mr
.
Smallweed
delicately
suggests
.
"
Since
you
left
the
Inn
,
Jobling
,
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
;
"
and
I
have
mentioned
to
our
mutual
friend
Smallweed
a
plan
I
have
lately
thought
of
proposing
.
You
know
Snagsby
the
stationer
?
"
"
I
know
there
is
such
a
stationer
,
"
returns
Mr
.
Jobling
.
"
He
was
not
ours
,
and
I
am
not
acquainted
with
him
.
"
"
He
IS
ours
,
Jobling
,
and
I
AM
acquainted
with
him
,
"
Mr
.
Guppy
retorts
.
"
Well
,
sir
!
I
have
lately
become
better
acquainted
with
him
through
some
accidental
circumstances
that
have
made
me
a
visitor
of
his
in
private
life
.
Those
circumstances
it
is
not
necessary
to
offer
in
argument
.
They
may
—
or
they
may
not
—
have
some
reference
to
a
subject
which
may
—
or
may
not
—
have
cast
its
shadow
on
my
existence
.
"
As
it
is
Mr
.
Guppy
’
s
perplexing
way
with
boastful
misery
to
tempt
his
particular
friends
into
this
subject
,
and
the
moment
they
touch
it
,
to
turn
on
them
with
that
trenchant
severity
about
the
chords
in
the
human
mind
,
both
Mr
.
Jobling
and
Mr
.
Smallweed
decline
the
pitfall
by
remaining
silent
.
"
Such
things
may
be
,
"
repeats
Mr
.
Guppy
,
"
or
they
may
not
be
.
They
are
no
part
of
the
case
.
It
is
enough
to
mention
that
both
Mr
.
and
Mrs
.
Snagsby
are
very
willing
to
oblige
me
and
that
Snagsby
has
,
in
busy
times
,
a
good
deal
of
copying
work
to
give
out
.
He
has
all
Tulkinghorn
’
s
,
and
an
excellent
business
besides
.
I
believe
if
our
mutual
friend
Smallweed
were
put
into
the
box
,
he
could
prove
this
?
"
Mr
.
Smallweed
nods
and
appears
greedy
to
be
sworn
.
"
Now
,
gentlemen
of
the
jury
,
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
,
"
—
I
mean
,
now
,
Jobling
—
you
may
say
this
is
a
poor
prospect
of
a
living
.
Granted
.
But
it
’
s
better
than
nothing
,
and
better
than
enlistment
.
You
want
time
.
There
must
be
time
for
these
late
affairs
to
blow
over
.
You
might
live
through
it
on
much
worse
terms
than
by
writing
for
Snagsby
.
"
Mr
.
Jobling
is
about
to
interrupt
when
the
sagacious
Smallweed
checks
him
with
a
dry
cough
and
the
words
,
"
Hem
!
Shakspeare
!
"
"
There
are
two
branches
to
this
subject
,
Jobling
,
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
.
"
That
is
the
first
.
I
come
to
the
second
.
You
know
Krook
,
the
Chancellor
,
across
the
lane
.
Come
,
Jobling
,
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
in
his
encouraging
cross
-
examination
-
tone
,
"
I
think
you
know
Krook
,
the
Chancellor
,
across
the
lane
?
"
"
I
know
him
by
sight
,
"
says
Mr
.
Jobling
.
"
You
know
him
by
sight
.
Very
well
.
And
you
know
little
Flite
?
"
"
Everybody
knows
her
,
"
says
Mr
.
Jobling
.
"
Everybody
knows
her
.
VERY
well
.
Now
it
has
been
one
of
my
duties
of
late
to
pay
Flite
a
certain
weekly
allowance
,
deducting
from
it
the
amount
of
her
weekly
rent
,
which
I
have
paid
(
in
consequence
of
instructions
I
have
received
)
to
Krook
himself
,
regularly
in
her
presence
.
This
has
brought
me
into
communication
with
Krook
and
into
a
knowledge
of
his
house
and
his
habits
.
I
know
he
has
a
room
to
let
.
You
may
live
there
at
a
very
low
charge
under
any
name
you
like
,
as
quietly
as
if
you
were
a
hundred
miles
off
.
He
’
ll
ask
no
questions
and
would
accept
you
as
a
tenant
at
a
word
from
me
—
before
the
clock
strikes
,
if
you
chose
.
And
I
tell
you
another
thing
,
Jobling
,
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
,
who
has
suddenly
lowered
his
voice
and
become
familiar
again
,
"
he
’
s
an
extraordinary
old
chap
—
always
rummaging
among
a
litter
of
papers
and
grubbing
away
at
teaching
himself
to
read
and
write
,
without
getting
on
a
bit
,
as
it
seems
to
me
.
He
is
a
most
extraordinary
old
chap
,
sir
.
I
don
’
t
know
but
what
it
might
be
worth
a
fellow
’
s
while
to
look
him
up
a
bit
.
"
"
You
don
’
t
mean
—
"
Mr
.
Jobling
begins
.
"
I
mean
,
"
returns
Mr
.
Guppy
,
shrugging
his
shoulders
with
becoming
modesty
,
"
that
I
can
’
t
make
him
out
.
I
appeal
to
our
mutual
friend
Smallweed
whether
he
has
or
has
not
heard
me
remark
that
I
can
’
t
make
him
out
.
"
Mr
.
Smallweed
bears
the
concise
testimony
,
"
A
few
!
"
"
I
have
seen
something
of
the
profession
and
something
of
life
,
Tony
,
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
,
"
and
it
’
s
seldom
I
can
’
t
make
a
man
out
,
more
or
less
.
But
such
an
old
card
as
this
,
so
deep
,
so
sly
,
and
secret
(
though
I
don
’
t
believe
he
is
ever
sober
)
,
I
never
came
across
.
Now
,
he
must
be
precious
old
,
you
know
,
and
he
has
not
a
soul
about
him
,
and
he
is
reported
to
be
immensely
rich
;
and
whether
he
is
a
smuggler
,
or
a
receiver
,
or
an
unlicensed
pawnbroker
,
or
a
money
-
lender
—
all
of
which
I
have
thought
likely
at
different
times
—
it
might
pay
you
to
knock
up
a
sort
of
knowledge
of
him
.
I
don
’
t
see
why
you
shouldn
’
t
go
in
for
it
,
when
everything
else
suits
.
"
Mr
.
Jobling
,
Mr
.
Guppy
,
and
Mr
.
Smallweed
all
lean
their
elbows
on
the
table
and
their
chins
upon
their
hands
,
and
look
at
the
ceiling
.
After
a
time
,
they
all
drink
,
slowly
lean
back
,
put
their
hands
in
their
pockets
,
and
look
at
one
another
.
"
If
I
had
the
energy
I
once
possessed
,
Tony
!
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
with
a
sigh
.
"
But
there
are
chords
in
the
human
mind
—
"
Expressing
the
remainder
of
the
desolate
sentiment
in
rum
-
and
-
water
,
Mr
.
Guppy
concludes
by
resigning
the
adventure
to
Tony
Jobling
and
informing
him
that
during
the
vacation
and
while
things
are
slack
,
his
purse
,
"
as
far
as
three
or
four
or
even
five
pound
goes
,
"
will
be
at
his
disposal
.
"
For
never
shall
it
be
said
,
"
Mr
.
Guppy
adds
with
emphasis
,
"
that
William
Guppy
turned
his
back
upon
his
friend
!
"
The
latter
part
of
the
proposal
is
so
directly
to
the
purpose
that
Mr
.
Jobling
says
with
emotion
,
"
Guppy
,
my
trump
,
your
fist
!
"
Mr
.
Guppy
presents
it
,
saying
,
"
Jobling
,
my
boy
,
there
it
is
!
"
Mr
.
Jobling
returns
,
"
Guppy
,
we
have
been
pals
now
for
some
years
!
"
Mr
.
Guppy
replies
,
"
Jobling
,
we
have
.
"
They
then
shake
hands
,
and
Mr
.
Jobling
adds
in
a
feeling
manner
,
"
Thank
you
,
Guppy
,
I
don
’
t
know
but
what
I
WILL
take
another
glass
for
old
acquaintance
sake
.
"
"
Krook
’
s
last
lodger
died
there
,
"
observes
Mr
.
Guppy
in
an
incidental
way
.
"
Did
he
though
!
"
says
Mr
.
Jobling
.
"
There
was
a
verdict
.
Accidental
death
.
You
don
’
t
mind
that
?
"
"
No
,
"
says
Mr
.
Jobling
,
"
I
don
’
t
mind
it
;
but
he
might
as
well
have
died
somewhere
else
.
It
’
s
devilish
odd
that
he
need
go
and
die
at
MY
place
!
"
Mr
.
Jobling
quite
resents
this
liberty
,
several
times
returning
to
it
with
such
remarks
as
,
"
There
are
places
enough
to
die
in
,
I
should
think
!
"
or
,
"
He
wouldn
’
t
have
liked
my
dying
at
HIS
place
,
I
dare
say
!
"
However
,
the
compact
being
virtually
made
,
Mr
.
Guppy
proposes
to
dispatch
the
trusty
Smallweed
to
ascertain
if
Mr
.
Krook
is
at
home
,
as
in
that
case
they
may
complete
the
negotiation
without
delay
.
Mr
.
Jobling
approving
,
Smallweed
puts
himself
under
the
tall
hat
and
conveys
it
out
of
the
dining
-
rooms
in
the
Guppy
manner
.
He
soon
returns
with
the
intelligence
that
Mr
.
Krook
is
at
home
and
that
he
has
seen
him
through
the
shop
-
door
,
sitting
in
the
back
premises
,
sleeping
"
like
one
o
’
clock
.
"
"
Then
I
’
ll
pay
,
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
,
"
and
we
’
ll
go
and
see
him
.
Small
,
what
will
it
be
?
"
Mr
.
Smallweed
,
compelling
the
attendance
of
the
waitress
with
one
hitch
of
his
eyelash
,
instantly
replies
as
follows
:
"
Four
veals
and
hams
is
three
,
and
four
potatoes
is
three
and
four
,
and
one
summer
cabbage
is
three
and
six
,
and
three
marrows
is
four
and
six
,
and
six
breads
is
five
,
and
three
Cheshires
is
five
and
three
,
and
four
half
-
pints
of
half
-
and
-
half
is
six
and
three
,
and
four
small
rums
is
eight
and
three
,
and
three
Pollys
is
eight
and
six
.
Eight
and
six
in
half
a
sovereign
,
Polly
,
and
eighteenpence
out
!
"
Not
at
all
excited
by
these
stupendous
calculations
,
Smallweed
dismisses
his
friends
with
a
cool
nod
and
remains
behind
to
take
a
little
admiring
notice
of
Polly
,
as
opportunity
may
serve
,
and
to
read
the
daily
papers
,
which
are
so
very
large
in
proportion
to
himself
,
shorn
of
his
hat
,
that
when
he
holds
up
the
Times
to
run
his
eye
over
the
columns
,
he
seems
to
have
retired
for
the
night
and
to
have
disappeared
under
the
bedclothes
.
Mr
.
Guppy
and
Mr
.
Jobling
repair
to
the
rag
and
bottle
shop
,
where
they
find
Krook
still
sleeping
like
one
o
’
clock
,
that
is
to
say
,
breathing
stertorously
with
his
chin
upon
his
breast
and
quite
insensible
to
any
external
sounds
or
even
to
gentle
shaking
.
On
the
table
beside
him
,
among
the
usual
lumber
,
stand
an
empty
gin
-
bottle
and
a
glass
.
The
unwholesome
air
is
so
stained
with
this
liquor
that
even
the
green
eyes
of
the
cat
upon
her
shelf
,
as
they
open
and
shut
and
glimmer
on
the
visitors
,
look
drunk
.
"
Hold
up
here
!
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
,
giving
the
relaxed
figure
of
the
old
man
another
shake
.
"
Mr
.
Krook
!
Halloa
,
sir
!
"
But
it
would
seem
as
easy
to
wake
a
bundle
of
old
clothes
with
a
spirituous
heat
smouldering
in
it
.
"
Did
you
ever
see
such
a
stupor
as
he
falls
into
,
between
drink
and
sleep
?
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
.
"
If
this
is
his
regular
sleep
,
"
returns
Jobling
,
rather
alarmed
,
"
it
’
ll
last
a
long
time
one
of
these
days
,
I
am
thinking
.
"
"
It
’
s
always
more
like
a
fit
than
a
nap
,
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
,
shaking
him
again
.
"
Halloa
,
your
lordship
!
Why
,
he
might
be
robbed
fifty
times
over
!
Open
your
eyes
!
"
After
much
ado
,
he
opens
them
,
but
without
appearing
to
see
his
visitors
or
any
other
objects
.
Though
he
crosses
one
leg
on
another
,
and
folds
his
hands
,
and
several
times
closes
and
opens
his
parched
lips
,
he
seems
to
all
intents
and
purposes
as
insensible
as
before
.
"
He
is
alive
,
at
any
rate
,
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
.
"
How
are
you
,
my
Lord
Chancellor
.
I
have
brought
a
friend
of
mine
,
sir
,
on
a
little
matter
of
business
.
"
The
old
man
still
sits
,
often
smacking
his
dry
lips
without
the
least
consciousness
.
After
some
minutes
he
makes
an
attempt
to
rise
.
They
help
him
up
,
and
he
staggers
against
the
wall
and
stares
at
them
.
"
How
do
you
do
,
Mr
.
Krook
?
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
in
some
discomfiture
.
"
How
do
you
do
,
sir
?
You
are
looking
charming
,
Mr
.
Krook
.
I
hope
you
are
pretty
well
?
"
The
old
man
,
in
aiming
a
purposeless
blow
at
Mr
.
Guppy
,
or
at
nothing
,
feebly
swings
himself
round
and
comes
with
his
face
against
the
wall
.
So
he
remains
for
a
minute
or
two
,
heaped
up
against
it
,
and
then
staggers
down
the
shop
to
the
front
door
.
The
air
,
the
movement
in
the
court
,
the
lapse
of
time
,
or
the
combination
of
these
things
recovers
him
.
He
comes
back
pretty
steadily
,
adjusting
his
fur
cap
on
his
head
and
looking
keenly
at
them
.
"
Your
servant
,
gentlemen
;
I
’
ve
been
dozing
.
Hi
!
I
am
hard
to
wake
,
odd
times
.
"
"
Rather
so
,
indeed
,
sir
,
"
responds
Mr
.
Guppy
.
"
What
?
You
’
ve
been
a
-
trying
to
do
it
,
have
you
?
"
says
the
suspicious
Krook
.
"
Only
a
little
,
"
Mr
.
Guppy
explains
.
The
old
man
’
s
eye
resting
on
the
empty
bottle
,
he
takes
it
up
,
examines
it
,
and
slowly
tilts
it
upside
down
.
"
I
say
!
"
he
cries
like
the
hobgoblin
in
the
story
.
"
Somebody
’
s
been
making
free
here
!
"
"
I
assure
you
we
found
it
so
,
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
.
"
Would
you
allow
me
to
get
it
filled
for
you
?
"
"
Yes
,
certainly
I
would
!
"
cries
Krook
in
high
glee
.
"
Certainly
I
would
!
Don
’
t
mention
it
!
Get
it
filled
next
door
—
Sol
’
s
Arms
—
the
Lord
Chancellor
’
s
fourteenpenny
.
Bless
you
,
they
know
ME
!
"
He
so
presses
the
empty
bottle
upon
Mr
.
Guppy
that
that
gentleman
,
with
a
nod
to
his
friend
,
accepts
the
trust
and
hurries
out
and
hurries
in
again
with
the
bottle
filled
.
The
old
man
receives
it
in
his
arms
like
a
beloved
grandchild
and
pats
it
tenderly
.
"
But
,
I
say
,
"
he
whispers
,
with
his
eyes
screwed
up
,
after
tasting
it
,
"
this
ain
’
t
the
Lord
Chancellor
’
s
fourteenpenny
.
This
is
eighteenpenny
!
"
"
I
thought
you
might
like
that
better
,
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
.
"
You
’
re
a
nobleman
,
sir
,
"
returns
Krook
with
another
taste
,
and
his
hot
breath
seems
to
come
towards
them
like
a
flame
.
"
You
’
re
a
baron
of
the
land
.
"
Taking
advantage
of
this
auspicious
moment
,
Mr
.
Guppy
presents
his
friend
under
the
impromptu
name
of
Mr
.
Weevle
and
states
the
object
of
their
visit
.
