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Chadband
,
pausing
with
the
resignation
of
a
man
accustomed
to
be
persecuted
and
languidly
folding
up
his
chin
into
his
fat
smile
,
says
,
"
Let
us
hear
the
maiden
!
Speak
,
maiden
!
"
"
One
thousing
seven
hundred
and
eighty
-
two
,
if
you
please
,
sir
.
Which
he
wish
to
know
what
the
shilling
ware
for
,
"
says
Guster
,
breathless
.
"
For
?
"
returns
Mrs
.
Chadband
.
"
For
his
fare
!
"
Guster
replied
that
"
he
insistes
on
one
and
eightpence
or
on
summonsizzing
the
party
.
"
Mrs
.
Snagsby
and
Mrs
.
Chadband
are
proceeding
to
grow
shrill
in
indignation
when
Mr
.
Chadband
quiets
the
tumult
by
lifting
up
his
hand
.
"
My
friends
,
"
says
he
,
"
I
remember
a
duty
unfulfilled
yesterday
.
It
is
right
that
I
should
be
chastened
in
some
penalty
.
I
ought
not
to
murmur
.
Rachael
,
pay
the
eightpence
!
"
While
Mrs
.
Snagsby
,
drawing
her
breath
,
looks
hard
at
Mr
.
Snagsby
,
as
who
should
say
,
"
You
hear
this
apostle
!
"
and
while
Mr
.
Chadband
glows
with
humility
and
train
oil
,
Mrs
.
Chadband
pays
the
money
.
It
is
Mr
.
Chadband
’
s
habit
—
it
is
the
head
and
front
of
his
pretensions
indeed
—
to
keep
this
sort
of
debtor
and
creditor
account
in
the
smallest
items
and
to
post
it
publicly
on
the
most
trivial
occasions
.
"
My
friends
,
"
says
Chadband
,
"
eightpence
is
not
much
;
it
might
justly
have
been
one
and
fourpence
;
it
might
justly
have
been
half
a
crown
.
O
let
us
be
joyful
,
joyful
!
O
let
us
be
joyful
!
"
With
which
remark
,
which
appears
from
its
sound
to
be
an
extract
in
verse
,
Mr
.
Chadband
stalks
to
the
table
,
and
before
taking
a
chair
,
lifts
up
his
admonitory
hand
.
"
My
friends
,
"
says
he
,
"
what
is
this
which
we
now
behold
as
being
spread
before
us
?
Refreshment
.
Do
we
need
refreshment
then
,
my
friends
?
We
do
.
And
why
do
we
need
refreshment
,
my
friends
?
Because
we
are
but
mortal
,
because
we
are
but
sinful
,
because
we
are
but
of
the
earth
,
because
we
are
not
of
the
air
.
Can
we
fly
,
my
friends
?
We
cannot
.
Why
can
we
not
fly
,
my
friends
?
"
Mr
.
Snagsby
,
presuming
on
the
success
of
his
last
point
,
ventures
to
observe
in
a
cheerful
and
rather
knowing
tone
,
"
No
wings
.
"
But
is
immediately
frowned
down
by
Mrs
.
Snagsby
.
"
I
say
,
my
friends
,
"
pursues
Mr
.
Chadband
,
utterly
rejecting
and
obliterating
Mr
.
Snagsby
’
s
suggestion
,
"
why
can
we
not
fly
?
Is
it
because
we
are
calculated
to
walk
?
It
is
.
Could
we
walk
,
my
friends
,
without
strength
?
We
could
not
.
What
should
we
do
without
strength
,
my
friends
?
Our
legs
would
refuse
to
bear
us
,
our
knees
would
double
up
,
our
ankles
would
turn
over
,
and
we
should
come
to
the
ground
.
Then
from
whence
,
my
friends
,
in
a
human
point
of
view
,
do
we
derive
the
strength
that
is
necessary
to
our
limbs
?
Is
it
,
"
says
Chadband
,
glancing
over
the
table
,
"
from
bread
in
various
forms
,
from
butter
which
is
churned
from
the
milk
which
is
yielded
unto
us
by
the
cow
,
from
the
eggs
which
are
laid
by
the
fowl
,
from
ham
,
from
tongue
,
from
sausage
,
and
from
such
like
?
It
is
.
Then
let
us
partake
of
the
good
things
which
are
set
before
us
!
"
The
persecutors
denied
that
there
was
any
particular
gift
in
Mr
.
Chadband
’
s
piling
verbose
flights
of
stairs
,
one
upon
another
,
after
this
fashion
.
But
this
can
only
be
received
as
a
proof
of
their
determination
to
persecute
,
since
it
must
be
within
everybody
’
s
experience
that
the
Chadband
style
of
oratory
is
widely
received
and
much
admired
.
Mr
.
Chadband
,
however
,
having
concluded
for
the
present
,
sits
down
at
Mr
.
Snagsby
’
s
table
and
lays
about
him
prodigiously
.
The
conversion
of
nutriment
of
any
sort
into
oil
of
the
quality
already
mentioned
appears
to
be
a
process
so
inseparable
from
the
constitution
of
this
exemplary
vessel
that
in
beginning
to
eat
and
drink
,
he
may
be
described
as
always
becoming
a
kind
of
considerable
oil
mills
or
other
large
factory
for
the
production
of
that
article
on
a
wholesale
scale
.
On
the
present
evening
of
the
long
vacation
,
in
Cook
’
s
Court
,
Cursitor
Street
,
he
does
such
a
powerful
stroke
of
business
that
the
warehouse
appears
to
be
quite
full
when
the
works
cease
.
At
this
period
of
the
entertainment
,
Guster
,
who
has
never
recovered
her
first
failure
,
but
has
neglected
no
possible
or
impossible
means
of
bringing
the
establishment
and
herself
into
contempt
—
among
which
may
be
briefly
enumerated
her
unexpectedly
performing
clashing
military
music
on
Mr
.
Chadband
’
s
head
with
plates
,
and
afterwards
crowning
that
gentleman
with
muffins
—
at
which
period
of
the
entertainment
,
Guster
whispers
Mr
.
Snagsby
that
he
is
wanted
.
"
And
being
wanted
in
the
—
not
to
put
too
fine
a
point
upon
it
—
in
the
shop
,
"
says
Mr
.
Snagsby
,
rising
,
"
perhaps
this
good
company
will
excuse
me
for
half
a
minute
.
"
Mr
.
Snagsby
descends
and
finds
the
two
’
prentices
intently
contemplating
a
police
constable
,
who
holds
a
ragged
boy
by
the
arm
.
"
Why
,
bless
my
heart
,
"
says
Mr
.
Snagsby
,
"
what
’
s
the
matter
!
"
"
This
boy
,
"
says
the
constable
,
"
although
he
’
s
repeatedly
told
to
,
won
’
t
move
on
—
"
"
I
’
m
always
a
-
moving
on
,
sar
,
"
cries
the
boy
,
wiping
away
his
grimy
tears
with
his
arm
.
"
I
’
ve
always
been
a
-
moving
and
a
-
moving
on
,
ever
since
I
was
born
.
Where
can
I
possibly
move
to
,
sir
,
more
nor
I
do
move
!
"
"
He
won
’
t
move
on
,
"
says
the
constable
calmly
,
with
a
slight
professional
hitch
of
his
neck
involving
its
better
settlement
in
his
stiff
stock
,
"
although
he
has
been
repeatedly
cautioned
,
and
therefore
I
am
obliged
to
take
him
into
custody
.
He
’
s
as
obstinate
a
young
gonoph
as
I
know
.
He
WON
’
T
move
on
.
"
"
Oh
,
my
eye
!
Where
can
I
move
to
!
"
cries
the
boy
,
clutching
quite
desperately
at
his
hair
and
beating
his
bare
feet
upon
the
floor
of
Mr
.
Snagsby
’
s
passage
.
"
Don
’
t
you
come
none
of
that
or
I
shall
make
blessed
short
work
of
you
!
"
says
the
constable
,
giving
him
a
passionless
shake
.
"
My
instructions
are
that
you
are
to
move
on
.
I
have
told
you
so
five
hundred
times
.
"
"
But
where
?
"
cries
the
boy
.
"
Well
!
Really
,
constable
,
you
know
,
"
says
Mr
.
Snagsby
wistfully
,
and
coughing
behind
his
hand
his
cough
of
great
perplexity
and
doubt
,
"
really
,
that
does
seem
a
question
.
Where
,
you
know
?
"
"
My
instructions
don
’
t
go
to
that
,
"
replies
the
constable
.
"
My
instructions
are
that
this
boy
is
to
move
on
.
"
Do
you
hear
,
Jo
?
It
is
nothing
to
you
or
to
any
one
else
that
the
great
lights
of
the
parliamentary
sky
have
failed
for
some
few
years
in
this
business
to
set
you
the
example
of
moving
on
.
The
one
grand
recipe
remains
for
you
—
the
profound
philosophical
prescription
—
the
be
-
all
and
the
end
-
all
of
your
strange
existence
upon
earth
.
Move
on
!
You
are
by
no
means
to
move
off
,
Jo
,
for
the
great
lights
can
’
t
at
all
agree
about
that
.
Move
on
!
Mr
.
Snagsby
says
nothing
to
this
effect
,
says
nothing
at
all
indeed
,
but
coughs
his
forlornest
cough
,
expressive
of
no
thoroughfare
in
any
direction
.
By
this
time
Mr
.
and
Mrs
.
Chadband
and
Mrs
.
Snagsby
,
hearing
the
altercation
,
have
appeared
upon
the
stairs
.
Guster
having
never
left
the
end
of
the
passage
,
the
whole
household
are
assembled
.
"
The
simple
question
is
,
sir
,
"
says
the
constable
,
"
whether
you
know
this
boy
.
He
says
you
do
.
"
Mrs
.
Snagsby
,
from
her
elevation
,
instantly
cries
out
,
"
No
he
don
’
t
!
"
"
My
lit
-
tle
woman
!
"
says
Mr
.
Snagsby
,
looking
up
the
staircase
.
"
My
love
,
permit
me
!
Pray
have
a
moment
’
s
patience
,
my
dear
.
I
do
know
something
of
this
lad
,
and
in
what
I
know
of
him
,
I
can
’
t
say
that
there
’
s
any
harm
;
perhaps
on
the
contrary
,
constable
.
"
To
whom
the
law
-
stationer
relates
his
Joful
and
woeful
experience
,
suppressing
the
half
-
crown
fact
.
"
Well
!
"
says
the
constable
,
"
so
far
,
it
seems
,
he
had
grounds
for
what
he
said
.
When
I
took
him
into
custody
up
in
Holborn
,
he
said
you
knew
him
.
Upon
that
,
a
young
man
who
was
in
the
crowd
said
he
was
acquainted
with
you
,
and
you
were
a
respectable
housekeeper
,
and
if
I
’
d
call
and
make
the
inquiry
,
he
’
d
appear
.
The
young
man
don
’
t
seem
inclined
to
keep
his
word
,
but
—
Oh
!
Here
IS
the
young
man
!
"
Enter
Mr
.
Guppy
,
who
nods
to
Mr
.
Snagsby
and
touches
his
hat
with
the
chivalry
of
clerkship
to
the
ladies
on
the
stairs
.
"
I
was
strolling
away
from
the
office
just
now
when
I
found
this
row
going
on
,
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
to
the
law
-
stationer
,
"
and
as
your
name
was
mentioned
,
I
thought
it
was
right
the
thing
should
be
looked
into
.
"
"
It
was
very
good
-
natured
of
you
,
sir
,
"
says
Mr
.
Snagsby
,
"
and
I
am
obliged
to
you
.
"
And
Mr
.
Snagsby
again
relates
his
experience
,
again
suppressing
the
half
-
crown
fact
.
"
Now
,
I
know
where
you
live
,
"
says
the
constable
,
then
,
to
Jo
.
"
You
live
down
in
Tom
-
all
-
Alone
’
s
.
That
’
s
a
nice
innocent
place
to
live
in
,
ain
’
t
it
?
"
"
I
can
’
t
go
and
live
in
no
nicer
place
,
sir
,
"
replies
Jo
.
"
They
wouldn
’
t
have
nothink
to
say
to
me
if
I
wos
to
go
to
a
nice
innocent
place
fur
to
live
.
Who
ud
go
and
let
a
nice
innocent
lodging
to
such
a
reg
’
lar
one
as
me
!
"
"
You
are
very
poor
,
ain
’
t
you
?
"
says
the
constable
.
"
Yes
,
I
am
indeed
,
sir
,
wery
poor
in
gin
’
ral
,
"
replies
Jo
.
"
I
leave
you
to
judge
now
!
I
shook
these
two
half
-
crowns
out
of
him
,
"
says
the
constable
,
producing
them
to
the
company
,
"
in
only
putting
my
hand
upon
him
!
"
"
They
’
re
wot
’
s
left
,
Mr
.
Snagsby
,
"
says
Jo
,
"
out
of
a
sov
-
ring
as
wos
give
me
by
a
lady
in
a
wale
as
sed
she
wos
a
servant
and
as
come
to
my
crossin
one
night
and
asked
to
be
showd
this
’
ere
ouse
and
the
ouse
wot
him
as
you
giv
the
writin
to
died
at
,
and
the
berrin
-
ground
wot
he
’
s
berrid
in
.
She
ses
to
me
she
ses
’
are
you
the
boy
at
the
inkwhich
?
’
she
ses
.
I
ses
’
yes
’
I
ses
.
She
ses
to
me
she
ses
’
can
you
show
me
all
them
places
?
’
I
ses
’
yes
I
can
’
I
ses
.
And
she
ses
to
me
’
do
it
’
and
I
dun
it
and
she
giv
me
a
sov
’
ring
and
hooked
it
.
And
I
an
’
t
had
much
of
the
sov
’
ring
neither
,
"
says
Jo
,
with
dirty
tears
,
"
fur
I
had
to
pay
five
bob
,
down
in
Tom
-
all
-
Alone
’
s
,
afore
they
’
d
square
it
fur
to
give
me
change
,
and
then
a
young
man
he
thieved
another
five
while
I
was
asleep
and
another
boy
he
thieved
ninepence
and
the
landlord
he
stood
drains
round
with
a
lot
more
on
it
.
"
"
You
don
’
t
expect
anybody
to
believe
this
,
about
the
lady
and
the
sovereign
,
do
you
?
"
says
the
constable
,
eyeing
him
aside
with
ineffable
disdain
.
"
I
don
’
t
know
as
I
do
,
sir
,
"
replies
Jo
.
"
I
don
’
t
expect
nothink
at
all
,
sir
,
much
,
but
that
’
s
the
true
hist
’
ry
on
it
.
"
"
You
see
what
he
is
!
"
the
constable
observes
to
the
audience
.
"
Well
,
Mr
.
Snagsby
,
if
I
don
’
t
lock
him
up
this
time
,
will
you
engage
for
his
moving
on
?
"
"
No
!
"
cries
Mrs
.
Snagsby
from
the
stairs
.
"
My
little
woman
!
"
pleads
her
husband
.
"
Constable
,
I
have
no
doubt
he
’
ll
move
on
.
You
know
you
really
must
do
it
,
"
says
Mr
.
Snagsby
.
"
I
’
m
everyways
agreeable
,
sir
,
"
says
the
hapless
Jo
.
"
Do
it
,
then
,
"
observes
the
constable
.
"
You
know
what
you
have
got
to
do
.
Do
it
!
And
recollect
you
won
’
t
get
off
so
easy
next
time
.
Catch
hold
of
your
money
.
Now
,
the
sooner
you
’
re
five
mile
off
,
the
better
for
all
parties
.
"
With
this
farewell
hint
and
pointing
generally
to
the
setting
sun
as
a
likely
place
to
move
on
to
,
the
constable
bids
his
auditors
good
afternoon
and
makes
the
echoes
of
Cook
’
s
Court
perform
slow
music
for
him
as
he
walks
away
on
the
shady
side
,
carrying
his
iron
-
bound
hat
in
his
hand
for
a
little
ventilation
.
Now
,
Jo
’
s
improbable
story
concerning
the
lady
and
the
sovereign
has
awakened
more
or
less
the
curiosity
of
all
the
company
.
Mr
.
Guppy
,
who
has
an
inquiring
mind
in
matters
of
evidence
and
who
has
been
suffering
severely
from
the
lassitude
of
the
long
vacation
,
takes
that
interest
in
the
case
that
he
enters
on
a
regular
cross
-
examination
of
the
witness
,
which
is
found
so
interesting
by
the
ladies
that
Mrs
.
Snagsby
politely
invites
him
to
step
upstairs
and
drink
a
cup
of
tea
,
if
he
will
excuse
the
disarranged
state
of
the
tea
-
table
,
consequent
on
their
previous
exertions
.
Mr
.
Guppy
yielding
his
assent
to
this
proposal
,
Jo
is
requested
to
follow
into
the
drawing
-
room
doorway
,
where
Mr
.
Guppy
takes
him
in
hand
as
a
witness
,
patting
him
into
this
shape
,
that
shape
,
and
the
other
shape
like
a
butterman
dealing
with
so
much
butter
,
and
worrying
him
according
to
the
best
models
.
Nor
is
the
examination
unlike
many
such
model
displays
,
both
in
respect
of
its
eliciting
nothing
and
of
its
being
lengthy
,
for
Mr
.
Guppy
is
sensible
of
his
talent
,
and
Mrs
.
Snagsby
feels
not
only
that
it
gratifies
her
inquisitive
disposition
,
but
that
it
lifts
her
husband
’
s
establishment
higher
up
in
the
law
.
During
the
progress
of
this
keen
encounter
,
the
vessel
Chadband
,
being
merely
engaged
in
the
oil
trade
,
gets
aground
and
waits
to
be
floated
off
.
"
Well
!
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
.
"
Either
this
boy
sticks
to
it
like
cobbler
’
s
-
wax
or
there
is
something
out
of
the
common
here
that
beats
anything
that
ever
came
into
my
way
at
Kenge
and
Carboy
’
s
.
"
Mrs
.
Chadband
whispers
Mrs
.
Snagsby
,
who
exclaims
,
"
You
don
’
t
say
so
!
"
"
For
years
!
"
replied
Mrs
.
Chadband
.
"
Has
known
Kenge
and
Carboy
’
s
office
for
years
,
"
Mrs
.
Snagsby
triumphantly
explains
to
Mr
.
Guppy
.
"
Mrs
.
Chadband
—
this
gentleman
’
s
wife
—
Reverend
Mr
.
Chadband
.
"
"
Oh
,
indeed
!
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
.
"
Before
I
married
my
present
husband
,
"
says
Mrs
.
Chadband
.
"
Was
you
a
party
in
anything
,
ma
’
am
?
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
,
transferring
his
cross
-
examination
.
"
No
.
"
"
NOT
a
party
in
anything
,
ma
’
am
?
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
.
Mrs
.
Chadband
shakes
her
head
.
"
Perhaps
you
were
acquainted
with
somebody
who
was
a
party
in
something
,
ma
’
am
?
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
,
who
likes
nothing
better
than
to
model
his
conversation
on
forensic
principles
.
"
Not
exactly
that
,
either
,
"
replies
Mrs
.
Chadband
,
humouring
the
joke
with
a
hard
-
favoured
smile
.
"
Not
exactly
that
,
either
!
"
repeats
Mr
.
Guppy
.
"
Very
good
.
Pray
,
ma
’
am
,
was
it
a
lady
of
your
acquaintance
who
had
some
transactions
(
we
will
not
at
present
say
what
transactions
)
with
Kenge
and
Carboy
’
s
office
,
or
was
it
a
gentleman
of
your
acquaintance
?
Take
time
,
ma
’
am
.
We
shall
come
to
it
presently
.
Man
or
woman
,
ma
’
am
?
"
"
Neither
,
"
says
Mrs
.
Chadband
as
before
.
"
Oh
!
A
child
!
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
,
throwing
on
the
admiring
Mrs
.
Snagsby
the
regular
acute
professional
eye
which
is
thrown
on
British
jurymen
.
"
Now
,
ma
’
am
,
perhaps
you
’
ll
have
the
kindness
to
tell
us
WHAT
child
.
"
"
You
have
got
it
at
last
,
sir
,
"
says
Mrs
.
Chadband
with
another
hard
-
favoured
smile
.
"
Well
,
sir
,
it
was
before
your
time
,
most
likely
,
judging
from
your
appearance
.
I
was
left
in
charge
of
a
child
named
Esther
Summerson
,
who
was
put
out
in
life
by
Messrs
.
Kenge
and
Carboy
.
"
"
Miss
Summerson
,
ma
’
am
!
"
cries
Mr
.
Guppy
,
excited
.
"
I
call
her
Esther
Summerson
,
"
says
Mrs
.
Chadband
with
austerity
.
"
There
was
no
Miss
-
ing
of
the
girl
in
my
time
.
It
was
Esther
.
’
Esther
,
do
this
!
Esther
,
do
that
!
’
and
she
was
made
to
do
it
.
"
"
My
dear
ma
’
am
,
"
returns
Mr
.
Guppy
,
moving
across
the
small
apartment
,
"
the
humble
individual
who
now
addresses
you
received
that
young
lady
in
London
when
she
first
came
here
from
the
establishment
to
which
you
have
alluded
.
Allow
me
to
have
the
pleasure
of
taking
you
by
the
hand
.
"
Mr
.
Chadband
,
at
last
seeing
his
opportunity
,
makes
his
accustomed
signal
and
rises
with
a
smoking
head
,
which
he
dabs
with
his
pocket
-
handkerchief
.
Mrs
.
Snagsby
whispers
"
Hush
!
"
"
My
friends
,
"
says
Chadband
,
"
we
have
partaken
in
moderation
"
(
which
was
certainly
not
the
case
so
far
as
he
was
concerned
)
"
of
the
comforts
which
have
been
provided
for
us
.
May
this
house
live
upon
the
fatness
of
the
land
;
may
corn
and
wine
be
plentiful
therein
;
may
it
grow
,
may
it
thrive
,
may
it
prosper
,
may
it
advance
,
may
it
proceed
,
may
it
press
forward
!
But
,
my
friends
,
have
we
partaken
of
anything
else
?
We
have
.
My
friends
,
of
what
else
have
we
partaken
?
Of
spiritual
profit
?
Yes
.
From
whence
have
we
derived
that
spiritual
profit
?
My
young
friend
,
stand
forth
!
"
Jo
,
thus
apostrophized
,
gives
a
slouch
backward
,
and
another
slouch
forward
,
and
another
slouch
to
each
side
,
and
confronts
the
eloquent
Chadband
with
evident
doubts
of
his
intentions
.
"
My
young
friend
,
"
says
Chadband
,
"
you
are
to
us
a
pearl
,
you
are
to
us
a
diamond
,
you
are
to
us
a
gem
,
you
are
to
us
a
jewel
.
And
why
,
my
young
friend
?
"
"
I
don
’
t
know
,
"
replies
Jo
.
"
I
don
’
t
know
nothink
.
