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"
"
My
young
friend
,
"
says
Chadband
,
"
it
is
because
you
know
nothing
that
you
are
to
us
a
gem
and
jewel
.
For
what
are
you
,
my
young
friend
?
Are
you
a
beast
of
the
field
?
No
.
A
bird
of
the
air
?
No
.
A
fish
of
the
sea
or
river
?
No
.
You
are
a
human
boy
,
my
young
friend
.
A
human
boy
.
O
glorious
to
be
a
human
boy
!
And
why
glorious
,
my
young
friend
?
Because
you
are
capable
of
receiving
the
lessons
of
wisdom
,
because
you
are
capable
of
profiting
by
this
discourse
which
I
now
deliver
for
your
good
,
because
you
are
not
a
stick
,
or
a
staff
,
or
a
stock
,
or
a
stone
,
or
a
post
,
or
a
pillar
.
And
do
you
cool
yourself
in
that
stream
now
,
my
young
friend
?
No
.
Why
do
you
not
cool
yourself
in
that
stream
now
?
Because
you
are
in
a
state
of
darkness
,
because
you
are
in
a
state
of
obscurity
,
because
you
are
in
a
state
of
sinfulness
,
because
you
are
in
a
state
of
bondage
.
My
young
friend
,
what
is
bondage
?
Let
us
,
in
a
spirit
of
love
,
inquire
.
"
At
this
threatening
stage
of
the
discourse
,
Jo
,
who
seems
to
have
been
gradually
going
out
of
his
mind
,
smears
his
right
arm
over
his
face
and
gives
a
terrible
yawn
.
Mrs
.
Snagsby
indignantly
expresses
her
belief
that
he
is
a
limb
of
the
arch
-
fiend
.
"
My
friends
,
"
says
Mr
.
Chadband
with
his
persecuted
chin
folding
itself
into
its
fat
smile
again
as
he
looks
round
,
"
it
is
right
that
I
should
be
humbled
,
it
is
right
that
I
should
be
tried
,
it
is
right
that
I
should
be
mortified
,
it
is
right
that
I
should
be
corrected
.
I
stumbled
,
on
Sabbath
last
,
when
I
thought
with
pride
of
my
three
hours
’
improving
.
The
account
is
now
favourably
balanced
:
my
creditor
has
accepted
a
composition
.
O
let
us
be
joyful
,
joyful
!
O
let
us
be
joyful
!
"
Great
sensation
on
the
part
of
Mrs
.
Snagsby
.
"
My
friends
,
"
says
Chadband
,
looking
round
him
in
conclusion
,
"
I
will
not
proceed
with
my
young
friend
now
.
Will
you
come
to
-
morrow
,
my
young
friend
,
and
inquire
of
this
good
lady
where
I
am
to
be
found
to
deliver
a
discourse
unto
you
,
and
will
you
come
like
the
thirsty
swallow
upon
the
next
day
,
and
upon
the
day
after
that
,
and
upon
the
day
after
that
,
and
upon
many
pleasant
days
,
to
hear
discourses
?
"
(
This
with
a
cow
-
like
lightness
.
)
Jo
,
whose
immediate
object
seems
to
be
to
get
away
on
any
terms
,
gives
a
shuffling
nod
.
Mr
.
Guppy
then
throws
him
a
penny
,
and
Mrs
.
Snagsby
calls
to
Guster
to
see
him
safely
out
of
the
house
.
But
before
he
goes
downstairs
,
Mr
.
Snagsby
loads
him
with
some
broken
meats
from
the
table
,
which
he
carries
away
,
hugging
in
his
arms
.
So
,
Mr
.
Chadband
—
of
whom
the
persecutors
say
that
it
is
no
wonder
he
should
go
on
for
any
length
of
time
uttering
such
abominable
nonsense
,
but
that
the
wonder
rather
is
that
he
should
ever
leave
off
,
having
once
the
audacity
to
begin
—
retires
into
private
life
until
he
invests
a
little
capital
of
supper
in
the
oil
-
trade
.
Jo
moves
on
,
through
the
long
vacation
,
down
to
Blackfriars
Bridge
,
where
he
finds
a
baking
stony
corner
wherein
to
settle
to
his
repast
.
And
there
he
sits
,
munching
and
gnawing
,
and
looking
up
at
the
great
cross
on
the
summit
of
St
.
Paul
’
s
Cathedral
,
glittering
above
a
red
-
and
-
violet
-
tinted
cloud
of
smoke
From
the
boy
’
s
face
one
might
suppose
that
sacred
emblem
to
be
,
in
his
eyes
,
the
crowning
confusion
of
the
great
,
confused
city
—
so
golden
,
so
high
up
,
so
far
out
of
his
reach
.
There
he
sits
,
the
sun
going
down
,
the
river
running
fast
,
the
crowd
flowing
by
him
in
two
streams
—
everything
moving
on
to
some
purpose
and
to
one
end
—
until
he
is
stirred
up
and
told
to
"
move
on
"
too
.
The
long
vacation
saunters
on
towards
term
-
time
like
an
idle
river
very
leisurely
strolling
down
a
flat
country
to
the
sea
.
Mr
.
Guppy
saunters
along
with
it
congenially
.
He
has
blunted
the
blade
of
his
penknife
and
broken
the
point
off
by
sticking
that
instrument
into
his
desk
in
every
direction
.
Not
that
he
bears
the
desk
any
ill
will
,
but
he
must
do
something
,
and
it
must
be
something
of
an
unexciting
nature
,
which
will
lay
neither
his
physical
nor
his
intellectual
energies
under
too
heavy
contribution
.
He
finds
that
nothing
agrees
with
him
so
well
as
to
make
little
gyrations
on
one
leg
of
his
stool
,
and
stab
his
desk
,
and
gape
.
Kenge
and
Carboy
are
out
of
town
,
and
the
articled
clerk
has
taken
out
a
shooting
license
and
gone
down
to
his
father
’
s
,
and
Mr
.
Guppy
’
s
two
fellow
-
stipendiaries
are
away
on
leave
.
Mr
.
Guppy
and
Mr
.
Richard
Carstone
divide
the
dignity
of
the
office
.
But
Mr
.
Carstone
is
for
the
time
being
established
in
Kenge
’
s
room
,
whereat
Mr
.
Guppy
chafes
.
So
exceedingly
that
he
with
biting
sarcasm
informs
his
mother
,
in
the
confidential
moments
when
he
sups
with
her
off
a
lobster
and
lettuce
in
the
Old
Street
Road
,
that
he
is
afraid
the
office
is
hardly
good
enough
for
swells
,
and
that
if
he
had
known
there
was
a
swell
coming
,
he
would
have
got
it
painted
.
Mr
.
Guppy
suspects
everybody
who
enters
on
the
occupation
of
a
stool
in
Kenge
and
Carboy
’
s
office
of
entertaining
,
as
a
matter
of
course
,
sinister
designs
upon
him
.
He
is
clear
that
every
such
person
wants
to
depose
him
.
If
he
be
ever
asked
how
,
why
,
when
,
or
wherefore
,
he
shuts
up
one
eye
and
shakes
his
head
.
On
the
strength
of
these
profound
views
,
he
in
the
most
ingenious
manner
takes
infinite
pains
to
counterplot
when
there
is
no
plot
,
and
plays
the
deepest
games
of
chess
without
any
adversary
.
It
is
a
source
of
much
gratification
to
Mr
.
Guppy
,
therefore
,
to
find
the
new
-
comer
constantly
poring
over
the
papers
in
Jarndyce
and
Jarndyce
,
for
he
well
knows
that
nothing
but
confusion
and
failure
can
come
of
that
.
His
satisfaction
communicates
itself
to
a
third
saunterer
through
the
long
vacation
in
Kenge
and
Carboy
’
s
office
,
to
wit
,
Young
Smallweed
.
Whether
Young
Smallweed
(
metaphorically
called
Small
and
eke
Chick
Weed
,
as
it
were
jocularly
to
express
a
fledgling
)
was
ever
a
boy
is
much
doubted
in
Lincoln
’
s
Inn
.
He
is
now
something
under
fifteen
and
an
old
limb
of
the
law
.
He
is
facetiously
understood
to
entertain
a
passion
for
a
lady
at
a
cigar
-
shop
in
the
neighbourhood
of
Chancery
Lane
and
for
her
sake
to
have
broken
off
a
contract
with
another
lady
,
to
whom
he
had
been
engaged
some
years
.
He
is
a
town
-
made
article
,
of
small
stature
and
weazen
features
,
but
may
be
perceived
from
a
considerable
distance
by
means
of
his
very
tall
hat
.
To
become
a
Guppy
is
the
object
of
his
ambition
.
He
dresses
at
that
gentleman
(
by
whom
he
is
patronized
)
,
talks
at
him
,
walks
at
him
,
founds
himself
entirely
on
him
.
He
is
honoured
with
Mr
.
Guppy
’
s
particular
confidence
and
occasionally
advises
him
,
from
the
deep
wells
of
his
experience
,
on
difficult
points
in
private
life
.
Mr
.
Guppy
has
been
lolling
out
of
window
all
the
morning
after
trying
all
the
stools
in
succession
and
finding
none
of
them
easy
,
and
after
several
times
putting
his
head
into
the
iron
safe
with
a
notion
of
cooling
it
.
Mr
.
Smallweed
has
been
twice
dispatched
for
effervescent
drinks
,
and
has
twice
mixed
them
in
the
two
official
tumblers
and
stirred
them
up
with
the
ruler
.
Mr
.
Guppy
propounds
for
Mr
.
Smallweed
’
s
consideration
the
paradox
that
the
more
you
drink
the
thirstier
you
are
and
reclines
his
head
upon
the
window
-
sill
in
a
state
of
hopeless
languor
.
While
thus
looking
out
into
the
shade
of
Old
Square
,
Lincoln
’
s
Inn
,
surveying
the
intolerable
bricks
and
mortar
,
Mr
.
Guppy
becomes
conscious
of
a
manly
whisker
emerging
from
the
cloistered
walk
below
and
turning
itself
up
in
the
direction
of
his
face
.
At
the
same
time
,
a
low
whistle
is
wafted
through
the
Inn
and
a
suppressed
voice
cries
,
"
Hip
!
Gup
-
py
!
"
"
Why
,
you
don
’
t
mean
it
!
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
,
aroused
.
"
Small
!
Here
’
s
Jobling
!
"
Small
’
s
head
looks
out
of
window
too
and
nods
to
Jobling
.
"
Where
have
you
sprung
up
from
?
"
inquires
Mr
.
Guppy
.
"
From
the
market
-
gardens
down
by
Deptford
.
I
can
’
t
stand
it
any
longer
.
I
must
enlist
.
I
say
!
I
wish
you
’
d
lend
me
half
a
crown
.
Upon
my
soul
,
I
’
m
hungry
.
"
Jobling
looks
hungry
and
also
has
the
appearance
of
having
run
to
seed
in
the
market
-
gardens
down
by
Deptford
.
"
I
say
!
Just
throw
out
half
a
crown
if
you
have
got
one
to
spare
.
I
want
to
get
some
dinner
.
"
"
Will
you
come
and
dine
with
me
?
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
,
throwing
out
the
coin
,
which
Mr
.
Jobling
catches
neatly
.
"
How
long
should
I
have
to
hold
out
?
"
says
Jobling
.
"
Not
half
an
hour
.
I
am
only
waiting
here
till
the
enemy
goes
,
returns
Mr
.
Guppy
,
butting
inward
with
his
head
.
"
What
enemy
?
"
"
A
new
one
.
Going
to
be
articled
.
Will
you
wait
?
"
"
Can
you
give
a
fellow
anything
to
read
in
the
meantime
?
"
says
Mr
.
Jobling
.
Smallweed
suggests
the
law
list
.
But
Mr
.
Jobling
declares
with
much
earnestness
that
he
"
can
’
t
stand
it
.
"
"
You
shall
have
the
paper
,
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
.
"
He
shall
bring
it
down
.
But
you
had
better
not
be
seen
about
here
.
Sit
on
our
staircase
and
read
.
It
’
s
a
quiet
place
.
"
Jobling
nods
intelligence
and
acquiescence
.
The
sagacious
Smallweed
supplies
him
with
the
newspaper
and
occasionally
drops
his
eye
upon
him
from
the
landing
as
a
precaution
against
his
becoming
disgusted
with
waiting
and
making
an
untimely
departure
.
At
last
the
enemy
retreats
,
and
then
Smallweed
fetches
Mr
.
Jobling
up
.
"
Well
,
and
how
are
you
?
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
,
shaking
hands
with
him
.
"
So
,
so
.
How
are
you
?
"
Mr
.
Guppy
replying
that
he
is
not
much
to
boast
of
,
Mr
.
Jobling
ventures
on
the
question
,
"
How
is
SHE
?
"
This
Mr
.
Guppy
resents
as
a
liberty
,
retorting
,
"
Jobling
,
there
ARE
chords
in
the
human
mind
—
"
Jobling
begs
pardon
.
"
Any
subject
but
that
!
"
says
Mr
.
Guppy
with
a
gloomy
enjoyment
of
his
injury
.
"
For
there
ARE
chords
,
Jobling
—
"
Mr
.
Jobling
begs
pardon
again
.
During
this
short
colloquy
,
the
active
Smallweed
,
who
is
of
the
dinner
party
,
has
written
in
legal
characters
on
a
slip
of
paper
,
"
Return
immediately
.
"
This
notification
to
all
whom
it
may
concern
,
he
inserts
in
the
letter
-
box
,
and
then
putting
on
the
tall
hat
at
the
angle
of
inclination
at
which
Mr
.
Guppy
wears
his
,
informs
his
patron
that
they
may
now
make
themselves
scarce
.
Accordingly
they
betake
themselves
to
a
neighbouring
dining
-
house
,
of
the
class
known
among
its
frequenters
by
the
denomination
slap
-
bang
,
where
the
waitress
,
a
bouncing
young
female
of
forty
,
is
supposed
to
have
made
some
impression
on
the
susceptible
Smallweed
,
of
whom
it
may
be
remarked
that
he
is
a
weird
changeling
to
whom
years
are
nothing
.
He
stands
precociously
possessed
of
centuries
of
owlish
wisdom
.
If
he
ever
lay
in
a
cradle
,
it
seems
as
if
he
must
have
lain
there
in
a
tail
-
coat
.
He
has
an
old
,
old
eye
,
has
Smallweed
;
and
he
drinks
and
smokes
in
a
monkeyish
way
;
and
his
neck
is
stiff
in
his
collar
;
and
he
is
never
to
be
taken
in
;
and
he
knows
all
about
it
,
whatever
it
is
.
In
short
,
in
his
bringing
up
he
has
been
so
nursed
by
Law
and
Equity
that
he
has
become
a
kind
of
fossil
imp
,
to
account
for
whose
terrestrial
existence
it
is
reported
at
the
public
offices
that
his
father
was
John
Doe
and
his
mother
the
only
female
member
of
the
Roe
family
,
also
that
his
first
long
-
clothes
were
made
from
a
blue
bag
.
Into
the
dining
-
house
,
unaffected
by
the
seductive
show
in
the
window
of
artificially
whitened
cauliflowers
and
poultry
,
verdant
baskets
of
peas
,
coolly
blooming
cucumbers
,
and
joints
ready
for
the
spit
,
Mr
.
Smallweed
leads
the
way
.
They
know
him
there
and
defer
to
him
.
He
has
his
favourite
box
,
he
bespeaks
all
the
papers
,
he
is
down
upon
bald
patriarchs
,
who
keep
them
more
than
ten
minutes
afterwards
.
It
is
of
no
use
trying
him
with
anything
less
than
a
full
-
sized
"
bread
"
or
proposing
to
him
any
joint
in
cut
unless
it
is
in
the
very
best
cut
.
In
the
matter
of
gravy
he
is
adamant
.
Conscious
of
his
elfin
power
and
submitting
to
his
dread
experience
,
Mr
.
Guppy
consults
him
in
the
choice
of
that
day
’
s
banquet
,
turning
an
appealing
look
towards
him
as
the
waitress
repeats
the
catalogue
of
viands
and
saying
"
What
do
YOU
take
,
Chick
?
"
Chick
,
out
of
the
profundity
of
his
artfulness
,
preferring
"
veal
and
ham
and
French
beans
—
and
don
’
t
you
forget
the
stuffing
,
Polly
"
(
with
an
unearthly
cock
of
his
venerable
eye
)
,
Mr
.
Guppy
and
Mr
.
Jobling
give
the
like
order
.
Three
pint
pots
of
half
-
and
-
half
are
superadded
.
Quickly
the
waitress
returns
bearing
what
is
apparently
a
model
of
the
Tower
of
Babel
but
what
is
really
a
pile
of
plates
and
flat
tin
dish
-
covers
.
Mr
.
Smallweed
,
approving
of
what
is
set
before
him
,
conveys
intelligent
benignity
into
his
ancient
eye
and
winks
upon
her
.
Then
,
amid
a
constant
coming
in
,
and
going
out
,
and
running
about
,
and
a
clatter
of
crockery
,
and
a
rumbling
up
and
down
of
the
machine
which
brings
the
nice
cuts
from
the
kitchen
,
and
a
shrill
crying
for
more
nice
cuts
down
the
speaking
-
pipe
,
and
a
shrill
reckoning
of
the
cost
of
nice
cuts
that
have
been
disposed
of
,
and
a
general
flush
and
steam
of
hot
joints
,
cut
and
uncut
,
and
a
considerably
heated
atmosphere
in
which
the
soiled
knives
and
tablecloths
seem
to
break
out
spontaneously
into
eruptions
of
grease
and
blotches
of
beer
,
the
legal
triumvirate
appease
their
appetites
.
Mr
.
Jobling
is
buttoned
up
closer
than
mere
adornment
might
require
.
His
hat
presents
at
the
rims
a
peculiar
appearance
of
a
glistening
nature
,
as
if
it
had
been
a
favourite
snail
-
promenade
.
The
same
phenomenon
is
visible
on
some
parts
of
his
coat
,
and
particularly
at
the
seams
.
He
has
the
faded
appearance
of
a
gentleman
in
embarrassed
circumstances
;
even
his
light
whiskers
droop
with
something
of
a
shabby
air
.
His
appetite
is
so
vigorous
that
it
suggests
spare
living
for
some
little
time
back
.
He
makes
such
a
speedy
end
of
his
plate
of
veal
and
ham
,
bringing
it
to
a
close
while
his
companions
are
yet
midway
in
theirs
,
that
Mr
.
Guppy
proposes
another
.
"
Thank
you
,
Guppy
,
"
says
Mr
.
Jobling
,
"
I
really
don
’
t
know
but
what
I
WILL
take
another
.
"
Another
being
brought
,
he
falls
to
with
great
goodwill
.
Mr
.
Guppy
takes
silent
notice
of
him
at
intervals
until
he
is
half
way
through
this
second
plate
and
stops
to
take
an
enjoying
pull
at
his
pint
pot
of
half
-
and
-
half
(
also
renewed
)
and
stretches
out
his
legs
and
rubs
his
hands
.
Beholding
him
in
which
glow
of
contentment
,
Mr
.
Guppy
says
,
"
You
are
a
man
again
,
Tony
!
"
"
Well
,
not
quite
yet
,
"
says
Mr
.
Jobling
.
"
Say
,
just
born
.
"
"
Will
you
take
any
other
vegetables
?
Grass
?
Peas
?
Summer
cabbage
?
"
"
Thank
you
,
Guppy
,
"
says
Mr
.
Jobling
.
"
I
really
don
’
t
know
but
what
I
WILL
take
summer
cabbage
.
"
Order
given
;
with
the
sarcastic
addition
(
from
Mr
.
Smallweed
)
of
"
Without
slugs
,
Polly
!
"
And
cabbage
produced
.
"
I
am
growing
up
,
Guppy
,
"
says
Mr
.
Jobling
,
plying
his
knife
and
fork
with
a
relishing
steadiness
.
"
Glad
to
hear
it
.
"
"
In
fact
,
I
have
just
turned
into
my
teens
,
"
says
Mr
.
Jobling
.
He
says
no
more
until
he
has
performed
his
task
,
which
he
achieves
as
Messrs
.
