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The
morning
after
we
found
her
second
lump
,
Marla
hopped
into
the
kitchen
with
both
legs
in
one
leg
of
her
pantyhose
and
said
,
"
Look
,
I
'm
a
mermaid
.
"
Marla
said
,
"
This
is
n't
like
when
guys
sit
backward
on
the
toilet
and
pretend
it
's
a
motorcycle
.
This
is
a
-
genuine
accident
.
"
Just
before
Marla
and
I
met
at
Remaining
Men
Together
,
there
was
the
first
lump
,
and
now
there
was
a
second
lump
.
What
you
have
to
know
is
that
Marla
is
still
alive
.
Marla
's
philosophy
of
life
,
she
told
me
,
is
that
she
can
die
at
any
moment
.
The
tragedy
of
her
life
is
that
she
does
n't
.
When
Marla
found
the
first
lump
,
she
went
to
a
clinic
where
slumped
scarecrow
mothers
sat
in
plastic
chairs
on
three
sides
of
the
waiting
room
with
limp
doll
children
balled
in
their
laps
or
lying
at
their
feet
.
The
children
were
sunken
and
dark
around
their
eyes
the
way
or
anges
or
bananas
go
bad
and
collapse
,
and
the
mothers
scratched
at
mats
of
dandruff
from
scalp
yeast
infections
out
of
control
.
The
way
the
teeth
in
the
clinic
looked
huge
in
everyone
's
thin
face
,
you
saw
how
teeth
are
just
shards
of
bone
that
come
through
your
skin
to
grind
things
up
.
This
is
where
you
end
up
if
you
do
n't
have
health
insurance
.
Before
anyone
knew
any
better
,
a
lot
of
gay
guys
had
wanted
children
,
and
now
the
children
are
sick
and
the
mothers
are
dying
and
the
fathers
are
dead
,
and
sitting
in
the
hospital
vomit
smell
of
piss
and
vinegar
while
a
nurse
asks
each
mother
how
long
she
's
been
sick
and
how
much
weight
she
's
lost
and
if
her
child
has
any
living
parent
or
guardian
,
Marla
decides
,
no
.
If
she
was
going
to
die
,
Marla
did
n't
want
to
know
about
it
.
Marla
walked
around
the
corner
from
the
clinic
to
City
Laundry
and
stole
all
the
jeans
out
of
the
dryers
,
then
walked
to
a
dealer
who
gave
her
fifteen
bucks
a
pair
.
Then
Marla
bought
herself
some
really
good
pantyhose
,
the
kind
that
do
n't
run
.
