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I
want
to
make
Marla
laugh
so
I
do
n't
tell
her
about
the
last
time
I
hugged
Chloe
,
Chloe
without
hair
,
a
skeleton
dipped
in
yellow
wax
with
a
silk
scarf
tied
around
her
bald
head
.
I
hugged
Chloe
one
last
time
before
she
disappeared
forever
.
I
told
her
she
looked
like
a
pirate
,
and
she
laughed
.
Me
,
when
I
go
to
the
beach
,
I
always
sit
with
my
right
foot
tucked
under
me
.
Australia
and
New
Zealand
,
or
I
keep
it
buried
in
the
sand
.
My
fear
is
that
people
will
see
my
foot
and
I
'll
start
to
die
in
their
minds
.
The
cancer
I
do
n't
have
is
everywhere
now
.
I
do
n't
tell
Marla
that
.
There
are
a
lot
of
things
we
do
n't
want
to
know
about
the
people
we
love
.
To
warm
her
up
,
to
make
her
laugh
,
I
tell
Marla
about
the
woman
in
Dear
Abby
who
married
a
handsome
successful
mortician
and
on
their
wedding
night
,
he
made
her
soak
in
a
tub
of
ice
water
until
her
skin
was
freezing
to
the
touch
,
and
then
he
made
her
lie
in
bed
completely
still
while
he
had
intercourse
with
her
cold
inert
body
.
The
funny
thing
is
this
woman
had
done
this
as
a
newlywed
,
and
gone
on
to
do
it
for
the
next
ten
years
of
marriage
and
now
she
was
writing
to
Dear
Abby
to
ask
if
Abby
thought
it
meant
something
.
THIS
IS
WHY
I
loved
the
support
groups
so
much
,
if
people
thought
you
were
dying
,
they
gave
you
their
full
attention
.
If
this
might
be
the
last
time
they
saw
you
,
they
really
saw
you
.
Everything
else
about
their
checkbook
balance
and
radio
songs
and
messy
hair
went
out
the
window
.
You
had
their
full
attention
.
People
listened
instead
of
just
waiting
for
their
turn
to
speak
.
And
when
they
spoke
,
they
were
n't
telling
you
a
story
.
When
the
two
of
you
talked
,
you
were
building
something
,
and
afterward
you
were
both
different
than
before
.
Marla
had
started
going
to
the
support
groups
after
she
found
the
first
lump
.
