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She
felt
that
he
drew
in
his
belly
and
thrust
out
his
chin
,
and
it
seemed
to
her
rather
sweet
and
touching
.
"
You
re
quite
right
.
I
m
tired
out
.
I
feel
low
and
miserable
.
I
feel
all
empty
inside
.
The
only
thing
is
to
go
away
.
"
After
Julia
had
made
up
her
mind
to
that
she
was
glad
.
The
prospect
of
getting
away
from
the
misery
that
tormented
her
at
once
made
it
easier
to
bear
.
The
notices
were
put
up
;
Michael
collected
his
cast
for
the
revival
and
started
rehearsals
.
It
amused
Julia
to
sit
idly
in
a
stall
and
watch
the
actress
who
had
been
engaged
rehearse
the
part
which
she
had
played
herself
some
years
before
.
She
had
never
lost
the
thrill
it
gave
her
when
she
first
went
on
the
stage
to
sit
in
the
darkened
playhouse
,
under
dust
-
sheets
,
and
see
the
characters
grow
in
the
actors
hands
.
Merely
to
be
inside
a
theatre
rested
her
;
nowhere
was
she
so
happy
.
Watching
the
rehearsals
she
was
able
to
relax
so
that
when
at
night
she
had
her
own
performance
to
give
she
felt
fresh
.
She
realized
that
all
Michael
had
said
was
true
.
She
took
hold
of
herself
.
Thrusting
her
private
emotion
into
the
background
and
thus
getting
the
character
under
control
,
she
managed
once
more
to
play
with
her
accustomed
virtuosity
.
Her
acting
ceased
to
be
a
means
by
which
she
gave
release
to
her
feelings
and
was
again
the
manifestation
of
her
creative
instinct
.
She
got
a
quiet
exhilaration
out
of
thus
recovering
mastery
over
her
medium
.
It
gave
her
a
sense
of
power
and
of
liberation
.
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But
the
triumphant
effort
she
made
took
it
out
of
her
,
and
when
she
was
not
in
the
theatre
she
felt
listless
and
discouraged
.
She
lost
her
exuberant
vitality
.
A
new
humility
overcame
her
.
She
had
a
feeling
that
her
day
was
done
.
She
sighed
as
she
told
herself
that
nobody
wanted
her
any
more
.
Michael
suggested
that
she
should
go
to
Vienna
to
be
near
Roger
,
and
she
would
have
liked
that
,
but
she
shook
her
head
.
"
I
should
only
cramp
his
style
.
"
She
was
afraid
he
would
find
her
a
bore
.
He
was
enjoying
himself
and
she
would
only
be
in
the
way
.
She
could
not
bear
the
thought
that
he
would
find
it
an
irksome
duty
to
take
her
here
and
there
and
occasionally
have
luncheon
or
dinner
with
her
.
It
was
only
natural
that
he
should
have
more
fun
with
the
friends
of
his
own
age
that
he
had
made
.
She
decided
to
go
and
stay
with
her
mother
.
Mrs
.
Lambert
-
Madame
de
Lambert
,
as
Michael
insisted
on
calling
her
-
had
lived
for
many
years
now
with
her
sister
,
Madame
Falloux
,
at
St
.
Malo
.
She
spent
a
few
days
every
year
in
London
with
Julia
,
but
this
year
had
not
been
well
enough
to
come
.
She
was
an
old
lady
,
well
over
seventy
,
and
Julia
knew
that
it
would
be
a
great
joy
for
her
to
have
her
daughter
on
a
long
visit
.
Who
cared
about
an
English
actress
in
Vienna
?
She
wouldn
t
be
anyone
there
.
In
St
.
Malo
she
would
be
something
of
a
figure
,
and
it
would
be
fun
for
the
two
old
women
to
be
able
to
show
her
off
to
their
friends
.
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"
Ma
fille
,
la
plus
grande
actrice
d
Angleterre
,
"
*
and
all
that
sort
of
thing
.
Poor
old
girls
,
they
couldn
t
live
much
longer
and
they
led
drab
,
monotonous
lives
.
Of
course
it
would
be
fearfully
boring
for
her
,
but
it
would
be
a
treat
for
them
.
Julia
had
a
feeling
that
perhaps
in
the
course
of
her
brilliant
and
triumphant
career
she
had
a
trifle
neglected
her
mother
.
She
could
make
up
for
it
now
.
She
would
lay
herself
out
to
be
charming
.
Her
tenderness
for
Michael
and
her
ever
-
present
sense
of
having
been
for
years
unjust
to
him
filled
her
with
contrition
.
She
felt
that
she
had
been
selfish
and
overbearing
,
and
she
wanted
to
atone
for
all
that
.
She
was
eager
to
sacrifice
herself
,
and
so
wrote
to
her
mother
to
announce
her
imminent
arrival
.