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- Теодор Драйзер
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"
No
,
I
will
not
say
that
.
My
ideal
has
become
fixed
,
though
,
apparently
.
I
have
had
it
for
a
number
of
years
now
.
It
spoils
other
matters
for
me
.
There
is
such
a
thing
as
an
ideal
.
We
do
have
a
pole-star
in
physics
.
"
As
he
said
this
Cowperwood
realized
that
for
him
he
was
making
a
very
remarkable
confession
.
He
had
come
here
primarily
to
magnetize
her
and
control
her
judgment
.
As
a
matter
of
fact
,
it
was
almost
the
other
way
about
.
She
was
almost
dominating
him
.
Lithe
,
slender
,
resourceful
,
histrionic
,
she
was
standing
before
him
making
him
explain
himself
,
only
he
did
not
see
her
so
much
in
that
light
as
in
the
way
of
a
large
,
kindly
,
mothering
intelligence
which
could
see
,
feel
,
and
understand
.
She
would
know
how
it
was
,
he
felt
sure
.
He
could
make
himself
understood
if
he
tried
.
Whatever
he
was
or
had
been
,
she
would
not
take
a
petty
view
.
She
could
not
.
Her
answers
thus
far
guaranteed
as
much
.
"
Yes
,
"
she
replied
,
"
we
do
have
a
pole-star
,
but
you
do
not
seem
able
to
find
it
.
Do
you
expect
to
find
your
ideal
in
any
living
woman
?
"
"
I
have
found
it
,
"
he
answered
,
wondering
at
the
ingenuity
and
complexity
of
her
mind
--
and
of
his
own
,
for
that
matter
--
of
all
mind
indeed
.
Deep
below
deep
it
lay
,
staggering
him
at
times
by
its
fathomless
reaches
.
"
I
hope
you
will
take
seriously
what
I
am
going
to
say
,
for
it
will
explain
so
much
.
When
I
began
to
be
interested
in
your
picture
I
was
so
because
it
coincided
with
the
ideal
I
had
in
mind
--
the
thing
that
you
think
changes
swiftly
.
That
was
nearly
seven
years
ago
.
Since
then
it
has
never
changed
.
When
I
saw
you
at
your
school
on
Riverside
Drive
I
was
fully
convinced
.
Although
I
have
said
nothing
,
I
have
remained
so
.
Perhaps
you
think
I
had
no
right
to
any
such
feelings
.
Most
people
would
agree
with
you
.
I
had
them
and
do
have
them
just
the
same
,
and
it
explains
my
relation
to
your
mother
.
When
she
came
to
me
once
in
Louisville
and
told
me
of
her
difficulties
I
was
glad
to
help
her
for
your
sake
.
That
has
been
my
reason
ever
since
,
although
she
does
not
know
that
.
In
some
respects
,
Berenice
,
your
mother
is
a
little
dull
.
All
this
while
I
have
been
in
love
with
you
--
intensely
so
.
As
you
stand
there
now
you
seem
to
me
amazingly
beautiful
--
the
ideal
I
have
been
telling
you
about
.
Do
n't
be
disturbed
;
I
sha
'n'
t
press
any
attentions
on
you
.
"
(
Berenice
had
moved
very
slightly
.
She
was
concerned
as
much
for
him
as
for
herself
.
His
power
was
so
wide
,
his
power
so
great
.
She
could
not
help
taking
him
seriously
when
he
was
so
serious
.
)
"
I
have
done
whatever
I
have
done
in
connection
with
you
and
your
mother
because
I
have
been
in
love
with
you
and
because
I
wanted
you
to
become
the
splendid
thing
I
thought
you
ought
to
become
.
You
have
not
known
it
,
but
you
are
the
cause
of
my
building
the
house
on
Fifth
Avenue
--
the
principal
reason
.
I
wanted
to
build
something
worthy
of
you
.
A
dream
?
Certainly
.
Everything
we
do
seems
to
have
something
of
that
quality
.
Its
beauty
,
if
there
is
any
,
is
due
to
you
.
I
made
it
beautiful
thinking
of
you
.
He
paused
,
and
Berenice
gave
no
sign
.
Her
first
impulse
had
been
to
object
,
but
her
vanity
,
her
love
of
art
,
her
love
of
power
--
all
were
touched
.
At
the
same
time
she
was
curious
now
as
to
whether
he
had
merely
expected
to
take
her
as
his
mistress
or
to
wait
until
he
could
honor
her
as
his
wife
.
"
I
suppose
you
are
wondering
whether
I
ever
expected
to
marry
you
or
not
,
"
he
went
on
,
getting
the
thought
out
of
her
mind
.
"
I
am
no
different
from
many
men
in
that
respect
,
Berenice
.
I
will
be
frank
.
I
wanted
you
in
any
way
that
I
could
get
you
.
I
was
living
in
the
hope
all
along
that
you
would
fall
in
love
with
me
--
as
I
had
with
you
.
I
hated
Braxmar
here
,
not
long
ago
,
when
he
appeared
on
the
scene
,
but
I
could
never
have
thought
of
interfering
.
I
was
quite
prepared
to
give
you
up
.
I
have
envied
every
man
I
have
ever
seen
with
you
--
young
and
old
.
I
have
even
envied
your
mother
for
being
so
close
to
you
when
I
could
not
be
.
At
the
same
time
I
have
wanted
you
to
have
everything
that
would
help
you
in
any
way
.
I
did
not
want
to
interfere
with
you
in
case
you
found
some
one
whom
you
could
truly
love
if
I
knew
that
you
could
not
love
me
.
There
is
the
whole
story
outside
of
anything
you
may
know
.
But
it
is
not
because
of
this
that
I
came
to-day
.
Not
to
tell
you
this
.
"
He
paused
,
as
if
expecting
her
to
say
something
,
though
she
made
no
comment
beyond
a
questioning
"
Yes
?
"
