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As
he
followed
Watson
through
the
door
,
the
words
echoed
back
to
him
like
a
knell
,
accompanied
by
a
sharp
snap
-
like
a
breaking
pencil
lead
.
Dear
God
,
he
could
use
a
drink
.
Or
a
thousand
of
them
.
Danny
weakened
and
went
up
for
his
milk
and
cookies
at
quarter
past
four
.
He
gobbled
them
while
looking
out
the
window
,
then
went
in
to
kiss
his
mother
,
who
was
lying
down
.
She
suggested
that
he
stay
in
and
watch
"
Sesame
Street
"
-
the
time
would
pass
faster
-
but
he
shook
his
head
firmly
and
went
back
to
his
place
on
the
curb
.
Now
it
was
five
o
’
clock
,
and
although
he
didn
’
t
have
a
watch
and
couldn
’
t
tell
time
too
well
yet
anyway
,
he
was
aware
of
passing
time
by
the
lengthening
of
the
shadows
,
and
by
the
golden
cast
that
now
tinged
the
afternoon
light
.
Turning
the
glider
over
in
his
hands
,
he
sang
under
his
breath
:
"
Skip
to
m
Lou
,
n
I
don
’
t
care
…
skip
to
m
Lou
,
n
I
don
’
t
care
…
my
master
’
s
gone
away
…
Lou
,
Lou
,
skip
to
In
Lou
…
"
They
had
sung
that
song
all
together
at
the
Jack
and
Jill
Nursery
School
he
had
gone
to
back
in
Stovington
.
He
didn
’
t
go
to
nursery
school
out
here
because
Daddy
couldn
’
t
afford
to
send
him
anymore
.
He
knew
his
mother
and
father
worried
about
that
,
worried
that
it
was
adding
to
his
loneliness
(
and
even
more
deeply
,
unspoken
between
them
,
that
Danny
blamed
them
)
,
but
he
didn
’
t
really
want
to
go
to
that
old
Jack
and
Jill
anymore
.
It
was
for
babies
.
He
wasn
’
t
quite
a
big
kid
yet
,
but
he
wasn
’
t
a
baby
anymore
.
Big
kids
went
to
the
big
school
and
got
a
hot
lunch
.
First
grade
.
Next
year
.
This
year
was
someplace
between
being
a
baby
and
a
real
kid
.
It
was
all
right
.
He
did
miss
Scott
and
Andy
-
mostly
Scott
-
but
it
was
still
all
right
.
It
seemed
best
to
wait
alone
for
whatever
might
happen
next
.
He
understood
a
great
many
things
about
his
parents
,
and
he
knew
that
many
times
they
didn
’
t
like
his
understandings
and
many
other
times
refused
to
believe
them
.
But
someday
they
would
have
to
believe
.
He
was
content
to
wait
.
It
was
too
bad
they
couldn
’
t
believe
more
,
though
,
especially
at
times
like
now
.
Mommy
was
lying
on
her
bed
in
the
apartment
,
just
about
crying
she
was
so
worried
about
Daddy
.
Some
of
the
things
she
was
worried
about
were
too
grown
-
up
for
Danny
to
understand
-
vague
things
that
had
to
do
with
security
,
with
Daddy
’
s
selfimage
feelings
of
guilt
and
anger
and
the
fear
of
what
was
to
become
of
them
-
but
the
two
main
things
on
her
mind
right
now
were
that
Daddy
had
had
a
breakdown
in
the
mountains
(
then
why
doesn
’
t
he
call
?
)
or
that
Daddy
had
gone
off
to
do
the
Bad
Thing
.
Danny
knew
perfectly
well
what
the
Bad
Thing
was
since
Scotty
Aaronson
,
who
was
six
months
older
,
had
explained
it
to
him
.
Scotty
knew
because
his
daddy
did
the
Bad
Thing
,
too
.
Once
,
Scotty
told
him
,
his
daddy
had
punched
his
mom
right
in
the
eye
and
knocked
her
down
.
Finally
,
Scotty
’
s
dad
and
mom
had
gotten
a
DIVORCE
over
the
Bad
Thing
,
and
when
Danny
had
known
him
,
Scotty
lived
with
his
mother
and
only
saw
his
daddy
on
weekends
.
The
greatest
terror
of
Danny
’
s
life
was
DIVORCE
,
a
word
that
always
appeared
in
his
mind
as
a
sign
painted
in
red
letters
which
were
covered
with
hissing
,
poisonous
snakes
.
In
DIVORCE
,
your
parents
no
longer
lived
together
.
They
had
a
tug
of
war
over
you
in
a
court
(
tennis
court
?
badminton
court
?
Danny
wasn
’
t
sure
which
or
if
it
was
some
other
,
but
Mommy
and
Daddy
had
played
both
tennis
and
badminton
at
Stovington
,
so
he
assumed
it
could
be
either
)
and
you
had
to
go
with
one
of
them
and
you
practically
never
saw
the
other
one
,
and
the
one
you
were
with
could
marry
somebody
you
didn
’
t
even
know
if
the
urge
came
on
them
.
The
most
terrifying
thing
about
DIVORCE
was
that
he
had
sensed
the
word
-
or
concept
,
or
whatever
it
was
that
came
to
him
in
his
understandings
-
floating
around
in
his
own
parents
’
heads
,
sometimes
diffuse
and
relatively
distant
,
sometimes
as
thick
and
obscuring
and
frightening
as
thunderheads
.
It
had
been
that
way
after
Daddy
punished
him
for
messing
the
papers
up
in
his
study
and
the
doctor
had
to
put
his
arm
in
a
cast
.
That
memory
was
already
faded
,
but
the
memory
of
the
DIVORCE
thoughts
was
clear
and
terrifying
.
It
had
mostly
been
around
his
mommy
that
time
,
and
he
had
been
in
constant
terror
that
she
would
pluck
the
word
from
her
brain
and
drag
it
out
of
her
mouth
,
making
it
real
.
DIVORCE
.
It
was
a
constant
undercurrent
in
their
thoughts
,
one
of
the
few
he
could
always
pick
up
,
like
the
beat
of
simple
music
.
But
like
a
beat
,
the
central
thought
formed
only
the
spine
of
more
complex
thoughts
,
thoughts
he
could
not
as
yet
even
begin
to
interpret
.
They
came
to
him
only
as
colors
and
moods
.
Mommy
’
s
DIVORCE
thoughts
centered
around
what
Daddy
had
done
to
his
arm
,
and
what
had
happened
at
Stovington
when
Daddy
lost
his
job
.
That
boy
.
That
George
Hatfield
who
got
pissed
off
at
Daddy
and
put
the
holes
in
their
bug
’
s
feet
.
Daddy
’
s
DIVORCE
thoughts
were
more
complex
,
colored
dark
violet
and
shot
through
with
frightening
veins
of
pure
black
.
He
seemed
to
think
they
would
be
better
off
if
he
left
.
That
things
would
stop
hurting
.
His
daddyhurt
almost
all
the
time
,
mostly
about
the
Bad
Thing
.
Danny
could
almost
always
pick
that
up
too
:
Daddy
’
s
constant
craving
to
go
into
a
dark
place
and
watch
a
color
TV
and
eat
peanuts
out
of
a
bowl
and
do
the
Bad
Thing
until
his
brain
would
be
quiet
and
leave
him
alone
.
