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- Шарлотта Бронте
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- Джэйн Эйр
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- Стр. 389/445
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"
But
my
powers
--
where
are
they
for
this
undertaking
?
I
do
not
feel
them
.
Nothing
speaks
or
stirs
in
me
while
you
talk
.
I
am
sensible
of
no
light
kindling
--
no
life
quickening
--
no
voice
counselling
or
cheering
.
Oh
,
I
wish
I
could
make
you
see
how
much
my
mind
is
at
this
moment
like
a
rayless
dungeon
,
with
one
shrinking
fear
fettered
in
its
depths
--
the
fear
of
being
persuaded
by
you
to
attempt
what
I
can
not
accomplish
!
"
"
I
have
an
answer
for
you
--
hear
it
.
I
have
watched
you
ever
since
we
first
met
:
I
have
made
you
my
study
for
ten
months
.
I
have
proved
you
in
that
time
by
sundry
tests
:
and
what
have
I
seen
and
elicited
?
In
the
village
school
I
found
you
could
perform
well
,
punctually
,
uprightly
,
labour
uncongenial
to
your
habits
and
inclinations
;
I
saw
you
could
perform
it
with
capacity
and
tact
:
you
could
win
while
you
controlled
.
In
the
calm
with
which
you
learnt
you
had
become
suddenly
rich
,
I
read
a
mind
clear
of
the
vice
of
Demas
:
-
lucre
had
no
undue
power
over
you
.
In
the
resolute
readiness
with
which
you
cut
your
wealth
into
four
shares
,
keeping
but
one
to
yourself
,
and
relinquishing
the
three
others
to
the
claim
of
abstract
justice
,
I
recognised
a
soul
that
revelled
in
the
flame
and
excitement
of
sacrifice
.
In
the
tractability
with
which
,
at
my
wish
,
you
forsook
a
study
in
which
you
were
interested
,
and
adopted
another
because
it
interested
me
;
in
the
untiring
assiduity
with
which
you
have
since
persevered
in
it
--
in
the
unflagging
energy
and
unshaken
temper
with
which
you
have
met
its
difficulties
--
I
acknowledge
the
complement
of
the
qualities
I
seek
.
Jane
,
you
are
docile
,
diligent
,
disinterested
,
faithful
,
constant
,
and
courageous
;
very
gentle
,
and
very
heroic
:
cease
to
mistrust
yourself
--
I
can
trust
you
unreservedly
.
As
a
conductress
of
Indian
schools
,
and
a
helper
amongst
Indian
women
,
your
assistance
will
be
to
me
invaluable
.
"
My
iron
shroud
contracted
round
me
;
persuasion
advanced
with
slow
sure
step
.
Shut
my
eyes
as
I
would
,
these
last
words
of
his
succeeded
in
making
the
way
,
which
had
seemed
blocked
up
,
comparatively
clear
.
My
work
,
which
had
appeared
so
vague
,
so
hopelessly
diffuse
,
condensed
itself
as
he
proceeded
,
and
assumed
a
definite
form
under
his
shaping
hand
.
He
waited
for
an
answer
.
I
demanded
a
quarter
of
an
hour
to
think
,
before
I
again
hazarded
a
reply
.
"
Very
willingly
,
"
he
rejoined
;
and
rising
,
he
strode
a
little
distance
up
the
pass
,
threw
himself
down
on
a
swell
of
heath
,
and
there
lay
still
.
"
I
can
do
what
he
wants
me
to
do
:
I
am
forced
to
see
and
acknowledge
that
,
"
I
meditated
,
--
"
that
is
,
if
life
be
spared
me
.
But
I
feel
mine
is
not
the
existence
to
be
long
protracted
under
an
Indian
sun
.
What
then
?
He
does
not
care
for
that
:
when
my
time
came
to
die
,
he
would
resign
me
,
in
all
serenity
and
sanctity
,
to
the
God
who
gave
me
.
The
case
is
very
plain
before
me
.
In
leaving
England
,
I
should
leave
a
loved
but
empty
land
--
Mr.
Rochester
is
not
there
;
and
if
he
were
,
what
is
,
what
can
that
ever
be
to
me
?
My
business
is
to
live
without
him
now
:
nothing
so
absurd
,
so
weak
as
to
drag
on
from
day
to
day
,
as
if
I
were
waiting
some
impossible
change
in
circumstances
,
which
might
reunite
me
to
him
.
Of
course
(
as
St.
John
once
said
)
I
must
seek
another
interest
in
life
to
replace
the
one
lost
:
is
not
the
occupation
he
now
offers
me
truly
the
most
glorious
man
can
adopt
or
God
assign
?
Is
it
not
,
by
its
noble
cares
and
sublime
results
,
the
one
best
calculated
to
fill
the
void
left
by
uptorn
affections
and
demolished
hopes
?
I
believe
I
must
say
,
Yes
--
and
yet
I
shudder
.
Alas
!
If
I
join
St.
John
,
I
abandon
half
myself
:
if
I
go
to
India
,
I
go
to
premature
death
.
And
how
will
the
interval
between
leaving
England
for
India
,
and
India
for
the
grave
,
be
filled
?
Oh
,
I
know
well
!
That
,
too
,
is
very
clear
to
my
vision
.
By
straining
to
satisfy
St.
John
till
my
sinews
ache
,
I
shall
satisfy
him
--
to
the
finest
central
point
and
farthest
outward
circle
of
his
expectations
.
If
I
do
go
with
him
--
if
I
do
make
the
sacrifice
he
urges
,
I
will
make
it
absolutely
:
I
will
throw
all
on
the
altar
--
heart
,
vitals
,
the
entire
victim
.
He
will
never
love
me
;
but
he
shall
approve
me
;
I
will
show
him
energies
he
has
not
yet
seen
,
resources
he
has
never
suspected
.
Yes
,
I
can
work
as
hard
as
he
can
,
and
with
as
little
grudging
.
"
Consent
,
then
,
to
his
demand
is
possible
:
but
for
one
item
--
one
dreadful
item
.
It
is
--
that
he
asks
me
to
be
his
wife
,
and
has
no
more
of
a
husband
's
heart
for
me
than
that
frowning
giant
of
a
rock
,
down
which
the
stream
is
foaming
in
yonder
gorge
.
He
prizes
me
as
a
soldier
would
a
good
weapon
;
and
that
is
all
.
Unmarried
to
him
,
this
would
never
grieve
me
;
but
can
I
let
him
complete
his
calculations
--
coolly
put
into
practice
his
plans
--
go
through
the
wedding
ceremony
?
Can
I
receive
from
him
the
bridal
ring
,
endure
all
the
forms
of
love
(
which
I
doubt
not
he
would
scrupulously
observe
)
and
know
that
the
spirit
was
quite
absent
?
Can
I
bear
the
consciousness
that
every
endearment
he
bestows
is
a
sacrifice
made
on
principle
?
No
:
such
a
martyrdom
would
be
monstrous
.
I
will
never
undergo
it
.
As
his
sister
,
I
might
accompany
him
--
not
as
his
wife
:
I
will
tell
him
so
.
"
