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- Джэйн Эйр
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St.
John
was
not
a
man
to
be
lightly
refused
:
you
felt
that
every
impression
made
on
him
,
either
for
pain
or
pleasure
,
was
deep-graved
and
permanent
.
I
consented
.
When
Diana
and
Mary
returned
,
the
former
found
her
scholar
transferred
from
her
to
her
brother
:
she
laughed
,
and
both
she
and
Mary
agreed
that
St.
John
should
never
have
persuaded
them
to
such
a
step
.
He
answered
quietly
--
"
I
know
it
.
"
I
found
him
a
very
patient
,
very
forbearing
,
and
yet
an
exacting
master
:
he
expected
me
to
do
a
great
deal
;
and
when
I
fulfilled
his
expectations
,
he
,
in
his
own
way
,
fully
testified
his
approbation
.
By
degrees
,
he
acquired
a
certain
influence
over
me
that
took
away
my
liberty
of
mind
:
his
praise
and
notice
were
more
restraining
than
his
indifference
.
I
could
no
longer
talk
or
laugh
freely
when
he
was
by
,
because
a
tiresomely
importunate
instinct
reminded
me
that
vivacity
(
at
least
in
me
)
was
distasteful
to
him
.
I
was
so
fully
aware
that
only
serious
moods
and
occupations
were
acceptable
,
that
in
his
presence
every
effort
to
sustain
or
follow
any
other
became
vain
:
I
fell
under
a
freezing
spell
.
When
he
said
"
go
,
"
I
went
;
"
come
,
"
I
came
;
"
do
this
,
"
I
did
it
.
But
I
did
not
love
my
servitude
:
I
wished
,
many
a
time
,
he
had
continued
to
neglect
me
.
One
evening
when
,
at
bedtime
,
his
sisters
and
I
stood
round
him
,
bidding
him
good-night
,
he
kissed
each
of
them
,
as
was
his
custom
;
and
,
as
was
equally
his
custom
,
he
gave
me
his
hand
.
Diana
,
who
chanced
to
be
in
a
frolicsome
humour
(
she
was
not
painfully
controlled
by
his
will
;
for
hers
,
in
another
way
,
was
as
strong
)
,
exclaimed
--
"
St.
John
!
you
used
to
call
Jane
your
third
sister
,
but
you
do
n't
treat
her
as
such
:
you
should
kiss
her
too
.
"
She
pushed
me
towards
him
.
I
thought
Diana
very
provoking
,
and
felt
uncomfortably
confused
;
and
while
I
was
thus
thinking
and
feeling
,
St.
John
bent
his
head
;
his
Greek
face
was
brought
to
a
level
with
mine
,
his
eyes
questioned
my
eyes
piercingly
--
he
kissed
me
.
There
are
no
such
things
as
marble
kisses
or
ice
kisses
,
or
I
should
say
my
ecclesiastical
cousin
's
salute
belonged
to
one
of
these
classes
;
but
there
may
be
experiment
kisses
,
and
his
was
an
experiment
kiss
.
When
given
,
he
viewed
me
to
learn
the
result
;
it
was
not
striking
:
I
am
sure
I
did
not
blush
;
perhaps
I
might
have
turned
a
little
pale
,
for
I
felt
as
if
this
kiss
were
a
seal
affixed
to
my
fetters
.
He
never
omitted
the
ceremony
afterwards
,
and
the
gravity
and
quiescence
with
which
I
underwent
it
,
seemed
to
invest
it
for
him
with
a
certain
charm
.
As
for
me
,
I
daily
wished
more
to
please
him
;
but
to
do
so
,
I
felt
daily
more
and
more
that
I
must
disown
half
my
nature
,
stifle
half
my
faculties
,
wrest
my
tastes
from
their
original
bent
,
force
myself
to
the
adoption
of
pursuits
for
which
I
had
no
natural
vocation
.
He
wanted
to
train
me
to
an
elevation
I
could
never
reach
;
it
racked
me
hourly
to
aspire
to
the
standard
he
uplifted
.
The
thing
was
as
impossible
as
to
mould
my
irregular
features
to
his
correct
and
classic
pattern
,
to
give
to
my
changeable
green
eyes
the
sea-blue
tint
and
solemn
lustre
of
his
own
.
Not
his
ascendancy
alone
,
however
,
held
me
in
thrall
at
present
.
Of
late
it
had
been
easy
enough
for
me
to
look
sad
:
a
cankering
evil
sat
at
my
heart
and
drained
my
happiness
at
its
source
--
the
evil
of
suspense
.
