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- Джэйн Эйр
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"
'
This
life
,
'
said
I
at
last
,
'
is
hell
:
this
is
the
air
--
those
are
the
sounds
of
the
bottomless
pit
!
I
have
a
right
to
deliver
myself
from
it
if
I
can
.
The
sufferings
of
this
mortal
state
will
leave
me
with
the
heavy
flesh
that
now
cumbers
my
soul
.
Of
the
fanatic
's
burning
eternity
I
have
no
fear
:
there
is
not
a
future
state
worse
than
this
present
one
--
let
me
break
away
,
and
go
home
to
God
!
'
"
I
said
this
whilst
I
knelt
down
at
,
and
unlocked
a
trunk
which
contained
a
brace
of
loaded
pistols
:
I
mean
to
shoot
myself
.
I
only
entertained
the
intention
for
a
moment
;
for
,
not
being
insane
,
the
crisis
of
exquisite
and
unalloyed
despair
,
which
had
originated
the
wish
and
design
of
self-destruction
,
was
past
in
a
second
.
"
A
wind
fresh
from
Europe
blew
over
the
ocean
and
rushed
through
the
open
casement
:
the
storm
broke
,
streamed
,
thundered
,
blazed
,
and
the
air
grew
pure
.
I
then
framed
and
fixed
a
resolution
.
While
I
walked
under
the
dripping
orange-trees
of
my
wet
garden
,
and
amongst
its
drenched
pomegranates
and
pine-apples
,
and
while
the
refulgent
dawn
of
the
tropics
kindled
round
me
--
I
reasoned
thus
,
Jane
--
and
now
listen
;
for
it
was
true
Wisdom
that
consoled
me
in
that
hour
,
and
showed
me
the
right
path
to
follow
.
"
The
sweet
wind
from
Europe
was
still
whispering
in
the
refreshed
leaves
,
and
the
Atlantic
was
thundering
in
glorious
liberty
;
my
heart
,
dried
up
and
scorched
for
a
long
time
,
swelled
to
the
tone
,
and
filled
with
living
blood
--
my
being
longed
for
renewal
--
my
soul
thirsted
for
a
pure
draught
.
I
saw
hope
revive
--
and
felt
regeneration
possible
.
From
a
flowery
arch
at
the
bottom
of
my
garden
I
gazed
over
the
sea
--
bluer
than
the
sky
:
the
old
world
was
beyond
;
clear
prospects
opened
thus
:
-
"
'
Go
,
'
said
Hope
,
'
and
live
again
in
Europe
:
there
it
is
not
known
what
a
sullied
name
you
bear
,
nor
what
a
filthy
burden
is
bound
to
you
.
You
may
take
the
maniac
with
you
to
England
;
confine
her
with
due
attendance
and
precautions
at
Thornfield
:
then
travel
yourself
to
what
clime
you
will
,
and
form
what
new
tie
you
like
.
That
woman
,
who
has
so
abused
your
long-suffering
,
so
sullied
your
name
,
so
outraged
your
honour
,
so
blighted
your
youth
,
is
not
your
wife
,
nor
are
you
her
husband
.
See
that
she
is
cared
for
as
her
condition
demands
,
and
you
have
done
all
that
God
and
humanity
require
of
you
.
Let
her
identity
,
her
connection
with
yourself
,
be
buried
in
oblivion
:
you
are
bound
to
impart
them
to
no
living
being
.
Place
her
in
safety
and
comfort
:
shelter
her
degradation
with
secrecy
,
and
leave
her
.
'
"
I
acted
precisely
on
this
suggestion
.
My
father
and
brother
had
not
made
my
marriage
known
to
their
acquaintance
;
because
,
in
the
very
first
letter
I
wrote
to
apprise
them
of
the
union
--
having
already
begun
to
experience
extreme
disgust
of
its
consequences
,
and
,
from
the
family
character
and
constitution
,
seeing
a
hideous
future
opening
to
me
--
I
added
an
urgent
charge
to
keep
it
secret
:
and
very
soon
the
infamous
conduct
of
the
wife
my
father
had
selected
for
me
was
such
as
to
make
him
blush
to
own
her
as
his
daughter-in-law
.
Far
from
desiring
to
publish
the
connection
,
he
became
as
anxious
to
conceal
it
as
myself
.
"
To
England
,
then
,
I
conveyed
her
;
a
fearful
voyage
I
had
with
such
a
monster
in
the
vessel
.
Glad
was
I
when
I
at
last
got
her
to
Thornfield
,
and
saw
her
safely
lodged
in
that
third-storey
room
,
of
whose
secret
inner
cabinet
she
has
now
for
ten
years
made
a
wild
beast
's
den
--
a
goblin
'
s
cell
.
I
had
some
trouble
in
finding
an
attendant
for
her
,
as
it
was
necessary
to
select
one
on
whose
fidelity
dependence
could
be
placed
;
for
her
ravings
would
inevitably
betray
my
secret
:
besides
,
she
had
lucid
intervals
of
days
--
sometimes
weeks
--
which
she
filled
up
with
abuse
of
me
.
At
last
I
hired
Grace
Poole
from
the
Grimbsy
Retreat
.
She
and
the
surgeon
,
Carter
(
who
dressed
Mason
's
wounds
that
night
he
was
stabbed
and
worried
)
,
are
the
only
two
I
have
ever
admitted
to
my
confidence
.
Mrs.
Fairfax
may
indeed
have
suspected
something
,
but
she
could
have
gained
no
precise
knowledge
as
to
facts
.
Grace
has
,
on
the
whole
,
proved
a
good
keeper
;
though
,
owing
partly
to
a
fault
of
her
own
,
of
which
it
appears
nothing
can
cure
her
,
and
which
is
incident
to
her
harassing
profession
,
her
vigilance
has
been
more
than
once
lulled
and
baffled
.
The
lunatic
is
both
cunning
and
malignant
;
she
has
never
failed
to
take
advantage
of
her
guardian
's
temporary
lapses
;
once
to
secrete
the
knife
with
which
she
stabbed
her
brother
,
and
twice
to
possess
herself
of
the
key
of
her
cell
,
and
issue
therefrom
in
the
night-time
.
On
the
first
of
these
occasions
,
she
perpetrated
the
attempt
to
burn
me
in
my
bed
;
on
the
second
,
she
paid
that
ghastly
visit
to
you
.
I
thank
Providence
,
who
watched
over
you
,
that
she
then
spent
her
fury
on
your
wedding
apparel
,
which
perhaps
brought
back
vague
reminiscences
of
her
own
bridal
days
:
but
on
what
might
have
happened
,
I
can
not
endure
to
reflect
.
When
I
think
of
the
thing
which
flew
at
my
throat
this
morning
,
hanging
its
black
and
scarlet
visage
over
the
nest
of
my
dove
,
my
blood
curdles
.
"
"
And
what
,
sir
,
"
I
asked
,
while
he
paused
,
"
did
you
do
when
you
had
settled
her
here
?
Where
did
you
go
?
"
