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"
Solely
occupied
by
one
thought
the
horror
of
my
other
self
"
I
was
stepping
leisurely
across
the
court
after
breakfast
,
drinking
the
chill
of
the
air
with
pleasure
,
when
I
was
seized
again
with
those
indescribable
sensations
that
heralded
the
change
;
and
I
had
but
the
time
to
gain
the
shelter
of
my
cabinet
,
before
I
was
once
again
raging
and
freezing
with
the
passions
of
Hyde
.
It
took
on
this
occasion
a
double
dose
to
recall
me
to
myself
;
and
alas
!
Six
hours
after
,
as
I
sat
looking
sadly
in
the
fire
,
the
pangs
returned
,
and
the
drug
had
to
be
re-administered
.
In
short
,
from
that
day
forth
it
seemed
only
by
a
great
effort
as
of
gymnastics
,
and
only
under
the
immediate
stimulation
of
the
drug
,
that
I
was
able
to
wear
the
countenance
of
Jekyll
.
At
all
hours
of
the
day
and
night
,
I
would
be
taken
with
the
premonitory
shudder
;
above
all
,
if
I
slept
,
or
even
dozed
for
a
moment
in
my
chair
,
it
was
always
as
Hyde
that
I
awakened
.
Under
the
strain
of
this
continually-impending
doom
and
by
the
sleeplessness
to
which
I
now
condemned
myself
,
ay
,
even
beyond
what
I
had
thought
possible
to
man
,
I
became
,
in
my
own
person
,
a
creature
eaten
up
and
emptied
by
fever
,
languidly
weak
both
in
body
and
mind
,
and
solely
occupied
by
one
thought
:
the
horror
of
my
other
self
.
But
when
I
slept
,
or
when
the
virtue
of
the
medicine
wore
off
,
I
would
leap
almost
without
transition
(
for
the
pangs
of
transformation
grew
daily
less
marked
)
into
the
possession
of
a
fancy
brimming
with
images
of
terror
,
a
soul
boiling
with
causeless
hatreds
,
and
a
body
that
seemed
not
strong
enough
to
contain
the
raging
energies
of
life
.
The
powers
of
Hyde
seemed
to
have
grown
with
the
sickliness
of
Jekyll
.
And
certainly
the
hate
that
now
divided
them
was
equal
on
each
side
.
With
Jekyll
,
it
was
a
thing
of
vital
instinct
.
He
had
now
seen
the
full
deformity
of
that
creature
that
shared
with
him
some
of
the
phenomena
of
consciousness
,
and
was
co-heir
with
him
to
death
:
and
beyond
these
links
of
community
,
which
in
themselves
made
the
most
poignant
part
of
his
distress
,
he
thought
of
Hyde
,
for
all
his
energy
of
life
,
as
of
something
not
only
hellish
but
inorganic
.
This
was
the
shocking
thing
;
that
the
slime
of
the
pit
seemed
to
utter
cries
and
voices
;
that
the
amorphous
dust
gesticulated
and
sinned
;
that
what
was
dead
,
and
had
no
shape
,
should
usurp
the
offices
of
life
.
And
this
again
,
that
that
insurgent
horror
was
knit
to
him
closer
than
a
wife
,
closer
than
an
eye
;
lay
caged
in
his
flesh
,
where
he
heard
it
mutter
and
felt
it
struggle
to
be
born
;
and
at
every
hour
of
weakness
,
and
in
the
confidence
of
slumber
,
prevailed
against
him
and
deposed
him
out
of
life
.
The
hatred
of
Hyde
for
Jekyll
,
was
of
a
different
order
.
His
terror
of
the
gallows
drove
him
continually
to
commit
temporary
suicide
,
and
return
to
his
subordinate
station
of
a
part
instead
of
a
person
;
but
he
loathed
the
necessity
,
he
loathed
the
despondency
into
which
Jekyll
was
now
fallen
,
and
he
resented
the
dislike
with
which
he
was
himself
regarded
.
Hence
the
ape-like
tricks
that
he
would
play
me
,
scrawling
in
my
own
hand
blasphemies
on
the
pages
of
my
books
,
burning
the
letters
and
destroying
the
portrait
of
my
father
;
and
indeed
,
had
it
not
been
for
his
fear
of
death
,
he
would
long
ago
have
ruined
himself
in
order
to
involve
me
in
the
ruin
.
But
his
love
of
life
is
wonderful
;
I
go
further
:
I
,
who
sicken
and
freeze
at
the
mere
thought
of
him
,
when
I
recall
the
abjection
and
passion
of
this
attachment
,
and
when
I
know
how
he
fears
my
power
to
cut
him
off
by
suicide
,
I
find
it
in
my
heart
to
pity
him
.
It
is
useless
,
and
the
time
awfully
fails
me
,
to
prolong
this
description
;
no
one
has
ever
suffered
such
torments
,
let
that
suffice
;
and
yet
even
to
these
,
habit
brought
--
no
,
not
alleviation
--
but
a
certain
callousness
of
soul
,
a
certain
acquiescence
of
despair
;
and
my
punishment
might
have
gone
on
for
years
,
but
for
the
last
calamity
which
has
now
fallen
,
and
which
has
finally
severed
me
from
my
own
face
and
nature
.
My
provision
of
the
salt
,
which
had
never
been
renewed
since
the
date
of
the
first
experiment
,
began
to
run
low
.
I
sent
out
for
a
fresh
supply
,
and
mixed
the
draught
;
the
ebullition
followed
,
and
the
first
change
of
colour
,
not
the
second
;
I
drank
it
and
it
was
without
efficiency
.
You
will
learn
from
Poole
how
I
have
had
London
ransacked
;
it
was
in
vain
;
and
I
am
now
persuaded
that
my
first
supply
was
impure
,
and
that
it
was
that
unknown
impurity
which
lent
efficacy
to
the
draught
.
About
a
week
has
passed
,
and
I
am
now
finishing
this
statement
under
the
influence
of
the
last
of
the
old
powders
.
This
,
then
,
is
the
last
time
,
short
of
a
miracle
,
that
Henry
Jekyll
can
think
his
own
thoughts
or
see
his
own
face
(
now
how
sadly
altered
!
)
in
the
glass
.
Nor
must
I
delay
too
long
to
bring
my
writing
to
an
end
;
for
if
my
narrative
has
hitherto
escaped
destruction
,
it
has
been
by
a
combination
of
great
prudence
and
great
good
luck
.
Should
the
throes
of
change
take
me
in
the
act
of
writing
it
,
Hyde
will
tear
it
in
pieces
;
but
if
some
time
shall
have
elapsed
after
I
have
laid
it
by
,
his
wonderful
selfishness
and
circumscription
to
the
moment
will
probably
save
it
once
again
from
the
action
of
his
ape-like
spite
.
And
indeed
the
doom
that
is
closing
on
us
both
,
has
already
changed
and
crushed
him
.
Half
an
hour
from
now
,
when
I
shall
again
and
for
ever
re-induce
that
hated
personality
,
I
know
how
I
shall
sit
shuddering
and
weeping
in
my
chair
,
or
continue
,
with
the
most
strained
and
fear-struck
ecstasy
of
listening
,
to
pace
up
and
down
this
room
(
my
last
earthly
refuge
)
and
give
ear
to
every
sound
of
menace
.
Will
Hyde
die
upon
the
scaffold
?
or
will
he
find
courage
to
release
himself
at
the
last
moment
?
God
knows
;
I
am
careless
;
this
is
my
true
hour
of
death
,
and
what
is
to
follow
concerns
another
than
myself
.
Here
then
,
as
I
lay
down
the
pen
and
proceed
to
seal
up
my
confession
,
I
bring
the
life
of
that
unhappy
Henry
Jekyll
to
an
end
.