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He
considered
whether
or
not
Jill
would
have
approved
had
he
taken
other
action
,
not
wasting
food
?
No
,
he
grokked
that
Jill
’
s
injunction
had
covered
that
variant
of
action
,
too
.
At
this
point
the
being
sprung
from
human
genes
shaped
by
Martian
thought
,
and
who
could
never
be
either
one
,
completed
one
stage
of
his
growth
,
burst
out
and
ceased
to
be
a
nestling
.
The
solitary
loneliness
of
predestined
free
will
was
then
his
and
with
it
the
Martian
serenity
to
embrace
it
,
cherish
it
,
savour
its
bitterness
,
and
accept
its
consequences
.
With
tragic
joy
he
knew
that
this
cusp
was
his
,
not
Jill
’
s
.
His
water
brother
could
teach
,
admonish
,
guide
–
but
choice
at
a
cusp
was
not
shared
.
Here
was
"
ownership
"
beyond
any
possible
sale
,
gift
,
hypothecation
;
owner
and
owned
grokked
fully
,
inseparable
.
He
eternally
was
the
action
he
had
taken
at
cusp
.
Now
that
he
knew
himself
to
be
self
he
was
free
to
grok
ever
closer
to
his
brothers
,
merge
without
let
.
Self
’
s
integrity
was
and
is
and
ever
had
been
.
Mike
stopped
to
cherish
all
his
brother
selves
,
the
many
threesfulfilled
on
Mars
,
both
corporate
and
discorporate
,
the
precious
few
on
Earth
–
the
as
-
yet
-
unknown
powers
of
three
on
Earth
that
would
be
his
to
merge
with
and
cherish
now
that
at
last
long
waiting
he
grokked
and
cherished
himself
.
Mike
remained
in
his
trance
;
there
was
still
much
to
grok
,
loose
ends
and
bits
and
pieces
to
be
puzzled
over
and
fitted
into
his
growing
pattern
–
all
that
he
had
seen
and
heard
and
been
at
the
Archangel
Foster
Tabernacle
(
not
just
the
cusp
he
had
encountered
when
he
and
Digby
had
come
face
to
face
alone
)
,
why
Bishop
Senator
Boone
had
made
him
warily
uneasy
without
frightening
him
,
why
Miss
Dawn
Ardent
had
tasted
like
a
water
brother
when
she
was
not
,
the
texture
and
smell
of
the
goodness
he
had
incompletely
grokked
in
the
jumping
up
and
down
and
the
wailing
–
Jubal
’
s
stored
conversation
both
coming
and
going
–
Jubal
’
s
words
troubled
him
more
than
other
details
;
he
studied
them
with
great
care
,
compared
them
with
what
he
had
been
taught
as
a
nestling
,
making
great
effort
to
bridge
between
his
two
languages
,
the
one
he
thought
with
and
the
one
he
now
spoke
and
was
gradually
learning
to
think
in
,
for
some
purposes
.
The
human
word
"
church
"
which
turned
up
over
and
over
again
among
Jubal
’
s
words
gave
him
most
knotty
difficulty
;
there
was
no
Martian
concept
of
any
sort
to
match
it
–
unless
one
took
"
church
"
and
"
worship
"
and
"
God
"
and
"
congregation
"
and
many
other
words
and
equated
them
all
to
the
totality
of
the
only
world
he
had
known
during
most
of
his
growing
-
waiting
?
then
forced
the
concept
back
awkwardly
into
English
in
that
phrase
which
had
been
rejected
(
but
by
each
differently
)
by
Jubal
,
by
Mahmoud
,
by
Digby
"
Thou
art
God
"
He
came
closer
to
understanding
it
in
English
himself
now
,
although
it
could
never
have
the
crystal
inevitability
of
the
Martian
concept
it
stood
for
.
In
his
mind
he
spoke
simultaneously
the
English
sentence
and
the
Martian
word
and
felt
closer
grokking
.
Repeating
it
like
a
student
telling
himself
that
the
jewel
is
in
the
lotus
he
sank
into
nirvana
untroubled
.
Shortly
before
midnight
he
speeded
up
his
heart
,
resumed
normal
breathing
,
ran
down
his
engineering
check
list
,
found
that
all
was
in
order
,
uncurled
and
sat
up
.
He
had
been
spiritually
weary
;
now
he
felt
light
and
gay
and
clear
-
headed
,
eager
to
get
on
with
the
many
actions
he
saw
spreading
out
before
him
.
He
felt
a
puppyish
need
for
company
almost
as
strong
as
his
earlier
necessity
for
quiet
.
He
stepped
out
into
the
upper
hail
,
was
delighted
to
encounter
a
water
brother
.
"
Oh
.
Hello
,
Mike
.
My
,
you
look
chipper
.
"
"
I
feel
fine
!
Where
is
everybody
?
"
