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- Марк Мэнсон
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- Тонкое искусство пофигизма
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- Стр. 69/115
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Ever
play
the
telephone
game
as
a
kid
?
You
know
,
you
say
something
in
one
person
’
s
ear
and
it
gets
passed
through
like
ten
people
,
and
what
the
last
person
hears
is
completely
unrelated
to
what
you
started
with
?
That
’
s
basically
how
our
memories
work
.
We
experience
something
.
Then
we
remember
it
slightly
differently
a
few
days
later
,
as
if
it
had
been
whispered
and
misheard
.
Then
we
tell
somebody
about
it
and
have
to
fill
in
a
couple
of
the
plot
holes
with
our
own
embellishments
to
make
sure
everything
makes
sense
and
we
’
re
not
crazy
.
And
then
we
come
to
believe
those
little
filled
-
in
mental
gaps
,
and
so
we
tell
those
the
next
time
too
.
Except
they
’
re
not
real
,
so
we
get
them
a
little
bit
wrong
.
And
we
’
re
drunk
one
night
a
year
later
when
we
tell
the
story
,
so
we
embellish
it
a
little
bit
more
—
okay
,
let
’
s
be
honest
,
we
completely
make
up
about
one
-
third
of
it
.
But
when
we
’
re
sober
the
next
week
,
we
don
’
t
want
to
admit
that
we
’
re
a
big
fat
liar
,
so
we
go
along
with
the
revised
and
newly
expanded
drunkard
version
of
our
story
.
And
five
years
later
,
our
absolutely
,
swear
-
to
-
god
,
swear
-
on
-
my
-
mother
’
s
-
grave
,
truer
-
than
-
true
story
is
at
most
50
percent
true
.
We
all
do
this
.
You
do
.
I
do
.
No
matter
how
honest
and
well
-
intentioned
we
are
,
we
’
re
in
a
perpetual
state
of
misleading
ourselves
and
others
for
no
other
reason
than
that
our
brain
is
designed
to
be
efficient
,
not
accurate
.
Not
only
does
our
memory
suck
—
suck
to
the
point
that
eyewitness
testimony
isn
’
t
necessarily
taken
seriously
in
court
cases
—
but
our
brain
functions
in
a
horribly
biased
way
.
How
so
?
Well
,
our
brain
is
always
trying
to
make
sense
of
our
current
situation
based
on
what
we
already
believe
and
have
already
experienced
.
Every
new
piece
of
information
is
measured
against
the
values
and
conclusions
we
already
have
.
As
a
result
,
our
brain
is
always
biased
toward
what
we
feel
to
be
true
in
that
moment
.
So
when
we
have
a
great
relationship
with
our
sister
,
we
’
ll
interpret
most
of
our
memories
about
her
in
a
positive
light
.
But
when
the
relationship
sours
,
we
’
ll
often
come
to
see
those
exact
same
memories
differently
,
reinventing
them
in
such
a
way
as
to
explain
our
present
-
day
anger
toward
her
.
That
sweet
gift
she
gave
us
last
Christmas
is
now
remembered
as
patronizing
and
condescending
.
That
time
she
forgot
to
invite
us
to
her
lake
house
is
now
seen
not
as
an
innocent
mistake
but
as
horrible
negligence
.
Meredith
’
s
fake
abuse
story
makes
far
more
sense
when
we
understand
the
values
in
which
her
beliefs
arose
.
First
of
all
,
Meredith
had
had
a
strained
and
difficult
relationship
with
her
father
throughout
most
of
her
life
.
Second
,
Meredith
had
had
a
series
of
failed
intimate
relationships
with
men
,
including
a
failed
marriage
.
So
already
,
in
terms
of
her
values
,
“
close
relationships
with
men
”
weren
’
t
doing
so
hot
.
Then
,
in
the
early
1980s
,
Meredith
became
a
radical
feminist
and
began
doing
research
into
child
abuse
.
She
was
confronted
with
horrific
story
after
horrific
story
of
abuse
,
and
she
dealt
with
incest
survivors
—
usually
little
girls
—
for
years
on
end
.
She
also
reported
extensively
on
a
number
of
inaccurate
studies
that
came
out
around
that
time
—
studies
that
it
later
turned
out
grossly
overestimated
the
prevalence
of
child
molestation
.
(
The
most
famous
study
reported
that
a
third
of
adult
women
had
been
sexually
molested
as
children
,
a
number
that
has
since
been
shown
to
be
false
.
)
And
on
top
of
all
of
this
,
Meredith
fell
in
love
and
began
a
relationship
with
another
woman
,
an
incest
survivor
.
Meredith
developed
a
codependent
and
toxic
relationship
with
her
partner
,
one
in
which
Meredith
continually
tried
to
“
save
”
the
other
woman
from
her
traumatic
past
.
Her
partner
also
used
her
traumatic
past
as
a
weapon
of
guilt
to
earn
Meredith
’
s
affection
(
more
on
this
and
boundaries
in
chapter
8
)
.
