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511
Meanwhile
,
his
younger
brother
,
Henry
James
,
went
on
to
become
a
world
-
renowned
novelist
;
his
sister
,
Alice
James
,
made
a
good
living
as
a
writer
as
well
.
William
was
the
family
oddball
,
the
black
sheep
.
512
In
a
desperate
attempt
to
salvage
the
young
man
s
future
,
James
s
father
used
his
business
connections
to
get
him
admitted
into
Harvard
Medical
School
.
It
was
his
last
chance
,
his
father
told
him
.
If
he
screwed
this
up
,
there
was
no
hope
for
him
.
513
But
James
never
felt
at
home
or
at
peace
at
Harvard
.
Medicine
never
appealed
to
him
.
He
spent
the
whole
time
feeling
like
a
fake
and
a
fraud
.
Отключить рекламу
514
After
all
,
if
he
couldn
t
overcome
his
own
problems
,
how
could
he
ever
hope
to
have
the
energy
to
help
others
with
theirs
?
After
touring
a
psychiatric
facility
one
day
,
James
mused
in
his
diary
that
he
felt
he
had
more
in
common
with
the
patients
than
with
the
doctors
.
515
A
few
years
went
by
and
,
again
to
his
father
s
disapproval
,
James
dropped
out
of
medical
school
.
But
rather
than
deal
with
the
brunt
of
his
father
s
wrath
,
he
decided
to
get
away
:
he
signed
up
to
join
an
anthropological
expedition
to
the
Amazon
rain
forest
.
516
This
was
in
the
1860s
,
so
transcontinental
travel
was
difficult
and
dangerous
.
If
you
ever
played
the
computer
game
Oregon
Trail
when
you
were
a
kid
,
it
was
kind
of
like
that
,
with
the
dysentery
and
drowning
oxen
and
everything
.
517
Anyway
,
James
made
it
all
the
way
to
the
Amazon
,
where
the
real
adventure
was
to
begin
.
Surprisingly
,
his
fragile
health
held
up
that
whole
way
.
But
once
he
finally
made
it
,
on
the
first
day
of
the
expedition
,
he
promptly
contracted
smallpox
and
nearly
died
in
the
jungle
.
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518
Then
his
back
spasms
returned
,
painful
to
the
point
of
making
James
unable
to
walk
.
By
this
time
,
he
was
emaciated
and
starved
from
the
smallpox
,
immobilized
by
his
bad
back
,
and
left
alone
in
the
middle
of
South
America
(
the
rest
of
the
expedition
having
gone
on
without
him
)
with
no
clear
way
to
get
home
a
journey
that
would
take
months
and
likely
kill
him
anyway
.
519
But
somehow
he
eventually
made
it
back
to
New
England
,
where
he
was
greeted
by
an
(
even
more
)
disappointed
father
.
520
By
this
point
the
young
man
wasn
t
so
young
anymore
nearly
thirty
years
old
,
still
unemployed
,
a
failure
at
everything
he
had
attempted
,
with
a
body
that
routinely
betrayed
him
and
wasn
t
likely
to
ever
get
better
.
Despite
all
the
advantages
and
opportunities
he
d
been
given
in
life
,
everything
had
fallen
apart
.
The
only
constants
in
his
life
seemed
to
be
suffering
and
disappointment
.
James
fell
into
a
deep
depression
and
began
making
plans
to
take
his
own
life
.