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- Марк Мэнсон
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- Тонкое искусство пофигизма
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- Стр. 42/115
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“
Because
your
family
is
supposed
to
matter
to
you
more
than
anyone
else
!
”
Why
does
that
seem
true
?
“
Because
being
close
with
your
family
is
‘
normal
’
and
‘
healthy
,
’
and
I
don
’
t
have
that
.
”
In
this
exchange
I
’
m
clear
about
my
underlying
value
—
having
a
good
relationship
with
my
brother
—
but
I
’
m
still
struggling
with
my
metric
.
I
’
ve
given
it
another
name
,
“
closeness
,
”
but
the
metric
hasn
’
t
really
changed
:
I
’
m
still
judging
myself
as
a
brother
based
on
frequency
of
contact
—
and
comparing
myself
,
using
that
metric
,
against
other
people
I
know
.
Everyone
else
(
or
so
it
seems
)
has
a
close
relationship
with
their
family
members
,
and
I
don
’
t
.
So
obviously
there
must
be
something
wrong
with
me
.
But
what
if
I
’
m
choosing
a
poor
metric
for
myself
and
my
life
?
What
else
could
be
true
that
I
’
m
not
considering
?
Well
,
perhaps
I
don
’
t
need
to
be
close
to
my
brother
to
have
that
good
relationship
that
I
value
.
Perhaps
there
just
needs
to
be
some
mutual
respect
(
which
there
is
)
.
Or
maybe
mutual
trust
is
what
to
look
for
(
and
it
’
s
there
)
.
Perhaps
these
metrics
would
be
better
assessments
of
brotherhood
than
how
many
text
messages
he
and
I
exchange
.
This
clearly
makes
sense
;
it
feels
true
for
me
.
But
it
still
fucking
hurts
that
my
brother
and
I
aren
’
t
close
.
And
there
’
s
no
positive
way
to
spin
it
.
There
’
s
no
secret
way
to
glorify
myself
through
this
knowledge
.
Sometimes
brothers
—
even
brothers
who
love
each
other
—
don
’
t
have
close
relationships
,
and
that
’
s
fine
.
It
is
hard
to
accept
at
first
,
but
that
’
s
fine
.
What
is
objectively
true
about
your
situation
is
not
as
important
as
how
you
come
to
see
the
situation
,
how
you
choose
to
measure
it
and
value
it
.
Problems
may
be
inevitable
,
but
the
meaning
of
each
problem
is
not
.
We
get
to
control
what
our
problems
mean
based
on
how
we
choose
to
think
about
them
,
the
standard
by
which
we
choose
to
measure
them
.
Rock
Star
Problems
In
1983
,
a
talented
young
guitarist
was
kicked
out
of
his
band
in
the
worst
possible
way
.
The
band
had
just
been
signed
to
a
record
deal
,
and
they
were
about
to
record
their
first
album
.
But
a
couple
days
before
recording
began
,
the
band
showed
the
guitarist
the
door
—
no
warning
,
no
discussion
,
no
dramatic
blowout
;
they
literally
woke
him
up
one
day
by
handing
him
a
bus
ticket
home
.
As
he
sat
on
the
bus
back
to
Los
Angeles
from
New
York
,
the
guitarist
kept
asking
himself
:
How
did
this
happen
?
What
did
I
do
wrong
?
What
will
I
do
now
?
Record
contracts
didn
’
t
exactly
fall
out
of
the
sky
,
especially
for
raucous
,
upstart
metal
bands
.
Had
he
missed
his
one
and
only
shot
?
