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- Марк Мэнсон
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- Тонкое искусство пофигизма
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- Стр. 39/115
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We
all
have
emotional
blind
spots
.
Often
they
have
to
do
with
the
emotions
that
we
were
taught
were
inappropriate
growing
up
.
It
takes
years
of
practice
and
effort
to
get
good
at
identifying
blind
spots
in
ourselves
and
then
expressing
the
affected
emotions
appropriately
.
But
this
task
is
hugely
important
,
and
worth
the
effort
.
The
second
layer
of
the
self
-
awareness
onion
is
an
ability
to
ask
why
we
feel
certain
emotions
.
These
why
questions
are
difficult
and
often
take
months
or
even
years
to
answer
consistently
and
accurately
.
Most
people
need
to
go
to
some
sort
of
therapist
just
to
hear
these
questions
asked
for
the
first
time
.
Such
questions
are
important
because
they
illuminate
what
we
consider
success
or
failure
.
Why
do
you
feel
angry
?
Is
it
because
you
failed
to
achieve
some
goal
?
Why
do
you
feel
lethargic
and
uninspired
?
Is
it
because
you
don
’
t
think
you
’
re
good
enough
?
This
layer
of
questioning
helps
us
understand
the
root
cause
of
the
emotions
that
overwhelm
us
.
Once
we
understand
that
root
cause
,
we
can
ideally
do
something
to
change
it
.
But
there
’
s
another
,
even
deeper
level
of
the
self
-
awareness
onion
.
And
that
one
is
full
of
fucking
tears
.
The
third
level
is
our
personal
values
:
Why
do
I
consider
this
to
be
success
/
failure
?
How
am
I
choosing
to
measure
myself
?
By
what
standard
am
I
judging
myself
and
everyone
around
me
?
This
level
,
which
takes
constant
questioning
and
effort
,
is
incredibly
difficult
to
reach
.
But
it
’
s
the
most
important
,
because
our
values
determine
the
nature
of
our
problems
,
and
the
nature
of
our
problems
determines
the
quality
of
our
lives
.
Values
underlie
everything
we
are
and
do
.
If
what
we
value
is
unhelpful
,
if
what
we
consider
success
/
failure
is
poorly
chosen
,
then
everything
based
upon
those
values
—
the
thoughts
,
the
emotions
,
the
day
-
to
-
day
feelings
—
will
all
be
out
of
whack
.
Everything
we
think
and
feel
about
a
situation
ultimately
comes
back
to
how
valuable
we
perceive
it
to
be
.
Most
people
are
horrible
at
answering
these
why
questions
accurately
,
and
this
prevents
them
from
achieving
a
deeper
knowledge
of
their
own
values
.
Sure
,
they
may
say
they
value
honesty
and
a
true
friend
,
but
then
they
turn
around
and
lie
about
you
behind
your
back
to
make
themselves
feel
better
.
People
may
perceive
that
they
feel
lonely
.
But
when
they
ask
themselves
why
they
feel
lonely
,
they
tend
to
come
up
with
a
way
to
blame
others
—
everyone
else
is
mean
,
or
no
one
is
cool
or
smart
enough
to
understand
them
—
and
thus
they
further
avoid
their
problem
instead
of
seeking
to
solve
it
.
