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- Мари Корелли
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- Стр. 278/279
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Ah
,
the
sweetness
of
that
earned
hundred
pounds
!
I
felt
a
King
of
independence
!
--
realms
of
ambition
and
attainment
opened
out
before
me
--
life
smiled
upon
me
as
it
had
never
smiled
before
.
Talk
of
poverty
!
I
was
rich
!
--
--
rich
with
a
hundred
pounds
made
out
of
my
own
brain-labour
--
and
I
envied
no
millionaire
that
ever
flaunted
his
gold
beneath
the
sun
!
I
thought
of
Mavis
Clare
,
...
but
dared
not
dwell
too
long
upon
her
gentle
image
.
In
time
perhaps
,
...
when
I
had
settled
down
to
fresh
work
,
...
when
I
had
formed
my
life
as
I
meant
to
form
it
,
in
the
habits
of
faith
,
firmness
and
unselfishness
,
I
would
write
to
her
and
tell
her
all
--
all
,
even
to
that
dread
insight
into
worlds
unseen
,
beyond
the
boundaries
of
an
unknown
region
of
everlasting
frozen
snow
!
But
now
--
--
now
I
resolved
to
stand
alone
--
fighting
my
battle
as
a
man
should
fight
,
seeking
for
neither
help
nor
sympathy
,
and
trusting
not
in
Self
,
but
God
only
.
Moreover
I
could
not
induce
myself
yet
to
look
again
upon
Willowsmere
.
The
place
was
terror-haunted
for
me
;
and
though
Lord
Elton
with
a
curious
condescension
,
(
seeing
that
it
was
to
me
he
owed
the
free
gift
of
his
former
property
)
invited
me
to
stay
there
,
and
professed
a
certain
lame
regret
for
the
'
heavy
financial
losses
'
I
had
sustained
,
I
saw
in
the
tone
of
his
epistle
that
he
looked
upon
me
somewhat
in
the
light
of
a
madman
after
my
refusal
to
take
up
the
matter
of
my
absconding
solicitors
,
and
that
he
would
rather
I
stayed
away
.
And
I
did
stay
away
;
--
and
even
when
his
marriage
with
Diana
Chesney
took
place
with
great
pomp
and
splendour
,
I
refused
his
invitation
to
be
present
.
In
the
published
list
of
guests
,
however
which
appeared
in
the
principal
papers
,
I
was
scarcely
surprised
to
read
the
name
of
'
Prince
Lucio
Rimânez
.
'
I
now
took
a
humble
room
and
set
to
work
on
a
new
literary
enterprise
,
avoiding
everyone
I
had
hitherto
known
,
for
being
now
almost
a
poor
man
,
I
was
aware
that
'
swagger
society
'
wished
to
blot
me
from
its
visiting-list
.
I
lived
with
my
own
sorrowful
thoughts
--
musing
on
many
things
,
training
myself
to
humility
,
obedience
,
and
faith
with
fortitude
--
and
day
by
day
I
did
battle
with
the
monster
,
Egotism
,
that
presented
itself
in
a
thousand
disguises
at
every
turn
in
my
own
life
as
well
as
in
the
lives
of
others
.
I
had
to
re-form
my
character
--
to
mould
the
obstinate
nature
that
rebelled
,
and
make
its
obstinacy
serve
for
the
attainment
of
higher
objects
than
world
's
renown
--
the
task
was
difficult
--
but
I
gained
ground
a
little
with
every
fresh
effort
.
I
had
lived
for
some
months
like
this
in
bitter
self-abasement
,
when
all
the
reading
world
was
suddenly
electrified
by
another
book
of
Mavis
Clare
's
.
My
lately
favoured
first
work
was
again
forgotten
and
thrust
aside
--
hers
,
slated
and
screamed
at
as
usual
by
the
criticasters
,
was
borne
along
to
fame
by
a
great
wave
of
honest
public
praise
and
enthusiasm
.
And
I
?
I
rejoiced
!
--
no
longer
grudging
or
envious
of
her
sweet
fame
,
I
stood
apart
in
spirit
as
it
were
,
while
the
bright
car
of
her
triumph
went
by
,
decked
,
not
only
with
laurels
,
but
with
roses
--
the
blossoms
of
a
people
's
love
and
honour
.
With
all
my
soul
I
reverenced
her
genius
--
with
all
my
heart
I
honoured
her
pure
womanliness
!
And
in
the
very
midst
of
her
brilliant
success
,
when
all
the
world
was
talking
of
her
,
she
wrote
to
me
,
a
simple
little
letter
,
as
gracious
as
her
own
fair
name
.
Dear
Mr
Tempest
,
I
heard
by
chance
the
other
day
that
you
had
returned
to
England
.
I
therefore
send
this
note
to
the
care
of
your
publisher
to
express
my
sincere
delight
in
the
success
your
clever
book
has
now
attained
after
its
interval
of
probation
.
I
fancy
the
public
appreciation
of
your
work
must
go
far
to
console
you
for
the
great
losses
you
have
had
both
in
life
and
fortune
,
of
which
I
will
not
here
speak
.
When
you
feel
that
you
can
bear
to
look
again
upon
scenes
which
I
know
will
be
sure
to
rouse
in
your
mind
many
sad
and
poignant
memories
,
will
you
come
and
see
me
?
Your
friend
Mavis
Clare
.
A
mist
came
before
my
eyes
--
I
almost
felt
her
gentle
presence
in
my
room
--
I
saw
the
tender
look
,
the
radiant
smile
--
the
innocent
yet
earnest
joy
in
life
and
love
of
purity
that
emanated
from
the
fair
personality
of
the
sweetest
woman
I
had
ever
known
.
She
called
herself
my
friend
!
--
...
