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- Мари Корелли
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A
shuddering
sense
of
loneliness
oppressed
me
as
my
eyes
wandered
round
the
restful
room
.
The
odour
of
lilies
was
in
the
air
,
exhaled
,
so
I
fancied
,
from
the
delicate
and
dainty
personality
of
Mavis
herself
.
"
If
I
had
only
known
her
first
--
and
loved
her
!
"
I
murmured
,
as
I
turned
away
at
last
and
left
the
house
But
then
I
remembered
I
had
hated
her
before
I
ever
met
her
--
and
not
only
had
I
hated
her
,
but
I
had
vilified
and
misrepresented
her
work
with
a
scurrilous
pen
under
the
shield
of
anonymity
,
and
out
of
sheer
malice
--
thus
giving
her
in
the
public
sight
,
the
greatest
proof
of
her
own
genius
a
gifted
woman
can
ever
win
--
man
's
envy
!
Two
weeks
later
I
stood
on
the
deck
of
Lucio
's
yacht
'
The
Flame
,
'
--
a
vessel
whose
complete
magnificence
filled
me
,
as
well
as
all
other
beholders
,
with
bewildered
wonderment
and
admiration
.
She
was
a
miracle
of
speed
,
her
motive
power
being
electricity
;
and
the
electric
engines
with
which
she
was
fitted
were
so
complex
and
remarkable
as
to
baffle
all
would-be
inquirers
into
the
secret
of
their
mechanism
and
potency
.
A
large
crowd
of
spectators
gathered
to
see
her
as
she
lay
off
Southampton
,
attracted
by
the
beauty
of
her
shape
and
appearance
--
some
bolder
spirits
even
came
out
in
tugs
and
row-boats
,
hoping
to
be
allowed
to
make
a
visit
of
inspection
on
board
,
but
the
sailors
,
powerfully-built
men
of
a
foreign
and
somewhat
unpleasing
type
,
soon
intimated
that
the
company
of
such
inquisitive
persons
was
undesirable
and
unwelcome
.
With
white
sails
spread
,
and
a
crimson
flag
flying
from
her
mast
,
she
weighed
anchor
at
sunset
on
the
afternoon
of
the
day
her
owner
and
I
joined
her
,
and
moving
through
the
waters
with
delicious
noiselessness
and
incredible
rapidity
,
soon
left
far
behind
her
the
English
shore
,
looking
like
a
white
line
in
the
mist
,
or
the
pale
vision
of
a
land
that
might
once
have
been
.
I
had
done
a
few
quixotic
things
before
departing
from
my
native
country
--
for
example
,
I
had
made
a
free
gift
of
his
former
home
Willowsmere
,
to
Lord
Elton
,
taking
a
sort
of
sullen
pleasure
in
thinking
that
he
,
the
spendthrift
nobleman
,
owed
the
restoration
of
his
property
to
me
--
to
me
who
had
never
been
either
a
successful
linen-draper
or
furniture-man
,
but
simply
an
author
,
one
of
'
those
sort
of
people
'
whom
my
lord
and
my
lady
imagine
they
can
'
patronize
'
and
neglect
again
at
pleasure
without
danger
to
themselves
.
The
arrogant
fools
invariably
forget
what
lasting
vengeance
can
be
taken
for
an
unmerited
slight
by
the
owner
of
a
brilliant
pen
!
I
was
glad
too
,
in
a
way
,
to
realize
that
the
daughter
of
the
American
railway-king
would
be
brought
to
the
grand
old
house
to
air
her
'
countess-ship
,
'
and
look
at
her
prettily
pert
little
physiognomy
in
the
very
mirror
where
Sibyl
had
watched
herself
die
.
I
do
not
know
why
this
idea
pleased
me
,
for
I
bore
no
grudge
against
Diana
Chesney
--
she
was
vulgar
but
harmless
,
and
would
probably
make
a
much
more
popular
châtelaine
at
Willowsmere
Court
than
my
wife
had
ever
been
.
Among
other
things
,
I
dismissed
my
man
Morris
,
and
made
him
miserable
--
with
the
gift
of
a
thousand
pounds
,
to
marry
and
start
a
business
on
.
He
was
miserable
because
he
could
not
make
up
his
mind
what
business
to
adopt
,
his
anxiety
being
to
choose
the
calling
that
would
'
pay
'
best
--
and
also
,
because
though
he
'
had
his
eye
'
upon
several
young
women
,
he
could
not
tell
which
among
them
would
be
likely
to
be
least
extravagant
,
and
the
most
serviceable
as
a
cook
and
housekeeper
.
The
love
of
money
and
the
pains
of
taking
care
of
it
,
embittered
his
days
as
it
embitters
the
days
of
most
men
,
and
my
unexpected
munificence
towards
him
burdened
him
with
such
a
weight
of
trouble
as
robbed
him
of
natural
sleep
and
appetite
.
I
cared
nothing
for
his
perplexities
however
,
and
gave
him
no
advice
,
good
or
bad
.
My
other
servants
I
dismissed
,
each
with
a
considerable
gift
of
money
,
not
that
I
particularly
wished
to
benefit
them
,
but
simply
because
I
desired
them
to
speak
well
of
me
.
And
in
this
world
it
is
very
evident
that
the
only
way
to
get
a
good
opinion
is
to
pay
for
it
!
I
gave
orders
to
a
famous
Italian
sculptor
for
Sibyl
's
monument
,
English
sculptors
having
no
conception
of
sculpture
--
it
was
to
be
of
exquisite
design
,
wrought
in
purest
white
marble
,
the
chief
adornment
being
the
centre-figure
of
an
angel
ready
for
flight
,
with
the
face
of
Sibyl
faithfully
copied
from
her
picture
.
Because
,
however
devilish
a
woman
may
be
in
her
life-time
,
one
is
bound
by
all
the
laws
of
social
hypocrisy
to
make
an
angel
of
her
as
soon
as
she
is
dead
!
Just
before
I
left
London
I
heard
that
my
old
college-friend
'
Boffles
,
'
John
Carrington
,
had
met
with
a
sudden
end
.
Busy
at
the
'
retorting
'
of
his
gold
,
he
had
been
choked
by
the
mercurial
fumes
and
had
died
in
hideous
torment
.
At
one
time
this
news
would
have
deeply
affected
me
,
but
now
,
I
was
scarcely
sorry
.
I
had
heard
nothing
of
him
since
I
had
come
into
my
fortune
--
he
had
never
even
written
to
congratulate
me
.
Always
full
of
my
own
self-importance
,
I
judged
this
as
great
neglect
on
his
part
,
and
now
that
he
was
dead
I
felt
no
more
than
any
of
us
feel
now-a-days
at
the
loss
of
friends
.
And
that
is
very
little
--
we
have
really
no
time
to
be
sorry
--
so
many
people
are
always
dying
!
--
and
we
are
in
such
a
desperate
hurry
to
rush
on
to
death
ourselves
!
Nothing
seemed
to
touch
me
that
did
not
closely
concern
my
own
personal
interest
--
and
I
had
no
affections
left
,
unless
I
may
call
the
vague
tenderness
I
had
for
Mavis
Clare
an
affection
.
Yet
,
to
be
honest
,
this
very
emotion
was
after
all
nothing
but
a
desire
to
be
consoled
,
pitied
and
loved
by
her
--
to
be
able
to
turn
upon
the
world
and
say
"
This
woman
whom
you
have
lifted
on
your
shield
of
honour
and
crowned
with
laurels
--
she
loves
me
--
she
is
not
yours
,
but
mine
!
"
Purely
interested
and
purely
selfish
was
the
longing
--
and
it
deserved
no
other
name
than
selfishness
.
My
feelings
for
Rimânez
too
began
at
this
time
to
undergo
a
curious
change
.
The
fascination
I
had
for
him
,
the
power
he
exercised
over
me
remained
as
great
as
ever
,
but
I
found
myself
often
absorbed
in
a
close
study
of
him
,
strangely
against
my
own
will
.
Sometimes
his
every
look
seemed
fraught
with
meaning
--
his
every
gesture
suggestive
of
an
almost
terrific
authority
.
He
was
always
to
me
the
most
attractive
of
beings
--
nevertheless
there
was
an
uneasy
sensation
of
doubt
and
fear
growing
up
in
my
mind
regarding
him
--
a
painful
anxiety
to
know
more
about
him
than
he
had
ever
told
me
--
and
on
rare
occasions
I
experienced
a
sudden
shock
of
inexplicable
repulsion
against
him
which
like
a
tremendous
wave
threw
me
back
with
violence
upon
myself
and
left
me
half-stunned
with
a
dread
of
I
knew
not
what
.
Alone
with
him
,
as
it
were
,
on
the
wide
sea
,
cut
off
for
a
time
from
all
other
intercourse
than
that
which
we
shared
together
,
these
sensations
were
very
strong
upon
me
.
I
began
to
note
many
things
which
I
had
been
too
blind
or
too
absorbed
in
my
own
pursuits
to
observe
before
;
the
offensive
presence
of
Amiel
,
who
acted
as
chief
steward
on
board
the
yacht
,
filled
me
now
not
only
with
dislike
,
but
nervous
apprehension
--
the
dark
and
more
or
less
repulsive
visages
of
the
crew
haunted
me
in
my
dreams
;
--
and
one
day
,
leaning
over
the
vessel
's
edge
and
gazing
blankly
down
into
the
fathomless
water
below
,
I
fell
to
thinking
of
strange
sorceries
of
the
East
,
and
stories
of
magicians
who
by
the
exercise
of
unlawful
science
did
so
make
victims
of
men
and
delude
them
that
their
wills
were
entirely
perverted
and
no
longer
their
own
.
I
do
not
know
why
this
passing
thought
should
have
suddenly
overwhelmed
me
with
deep
depression
--
but
when
I
looked
up
,
to
me
the
sky
had
grown
dark
,
and
the
face
of
one
of
the
sailors
who
was
near
me
polishing
the
brass
hand-rail
,
seemed
singularly
threatening
and
sinister
.
I
moved
to
go
to
the
other
side
of
the
deck
,
when
a
hand
was
gently
laid
on
my
shoulder
from
behind
,
and
turning
,
I
met
the
sad
and
splendid
eyes
of
Lucio
.
