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- Мари Корелли
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- Стр. 213/279
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Had
any
one
dared
to
say
this
truth
to
me
then
,
I
should
have
bade
him
go
and
preach
nonsense
to
children
--
but
now
--
when
I
recall
those
white
leaves
of
days
that
were
unrolled
before
me
fresh
and
blank
with
every
sunrise
,
and
with
which
I
did
nothing
save
scrawl
my
own
Ego
in
a
foul
smudge
across
each
one
,
I
tremble
,
and
inwardly
pray
that
I
may
never
be
forced
to
send
back
my
self-written
record
!
Yet
of
what
use
is
it
to
pray
against
eternal
Law
?
It
is
eternal
Law
that
we
shall
ourselves
count
up
our
own
misdeeds
at
the
final
reckoning
--
hence
it
is
no
wonder
that
many
are
found
who
prefer
not
to
believe
in
a
future
after
death
.
Rightly
do
such
esteem
it
better
to
die
utterly
,
than
be
forced
to
live
again
and
look
back
upon
the
wilful
evil
they
have
done
!
October
ripened
slowly
and
almost
imperceptibly
towards
its
end
,
and
the
trees
put
on
their
gorgeous
autumnal
tints
of
burning
crimson
and
gold
.
The
weather
remained
fine
and
warm
,
and
what
the
French
Canadians
poetically
term
the
'
Summer
of
all
Saints
'
gave
us
bright
days
and
cloudless
moonlit
evenings
.
The
air
was
so
mild
that
we
were
always
able
to
take
our
coffee
after
dinner
on
the
terrace
overlooking
the
lawn
in
front
of
the
drawing-room
--
and
it
was
on
one
of
these
balmy
nights
that
I
was
the
interested
spectator
of
a
strange
scene
between
Lucio
and
Mavis
Clare
--
a
scene
I
should
have
thought
impossible
of
occurrence
had
I
not
myself
witnessed
it
.
Mavis
had
dined
at
Willowsmere
;
she
very
rarely
so
honoured
us
;
and
there
were
a
few
other
guests
besides
.
We
had
lingered
over
the
coffee
longer
than
usual
,
for
Mavis
had
given
an
extra
charm
to
the
conversation
by
her
eloquent
vivacity
and
bright
humour
,
and
all
present
were
anxious
to
hear
,
see
and
know
as
much
of
the
brilliant
novelist
as
possible
.
But
when
a
full
golden
moon
rose
in
mellow
splendour
over
the
tree-tops
,
my
wife
suggested
a
stroll
in
the
grounds
,
and
everyone
agreeing
to
the
proposal
with
delight
,
we
started
--
more
or
less
together
--
some
in
couples
,
some
in
groups
of
three
or
four
.
After
a
little
desultory
rambling
however
,
the
party
got
separated
in
the
rose-gardens
and
adjacent
shrubberies
,
and
I
found
myself
alone
.
I
turned
back
to
the
house
to
get
my
cigar-case
which
I
had
left
on
a
table
in
the
library
,
and
passing
out
again
in
another
direction
I
strolled
slowly
across
the
grass
,
smoking
as
I
went
,
towards
the
river
,
the
silver
gleam
of
which
could
clearly
be
discerned
through
the
fast-thinning
foliage
overhanging
its
banks
.
I
had
almost
reached
the
path
that
followed
the
course
of
the
winding
water
,
when
I
was
brought
to
a
standstill
by
the
sound
of
voices
--
one
,
a
man
's
,
low
and
persuasive
--
the
other
a
woman
's
,
tender
,
grave
and
somewhat
tremulous
.
Neither
voice
could
be
mistaken
;
I
recognized
Lucio
's
rich
penetrating
tones
,
and
the
sweet
vibrante
accents
of
Mavis
Clare
.
Out
of
sheer
surprise
I
paused
--
had
Lucio
fallen
in
love
,
I
wondered
,
half-smiling
?
--
was
I
about
to
discover
that
the
supposed
'
woman-hater
'
had
been
tamed
and
caught
at
last
?
By
Mavis
too
!
--
little
Mavis
,
who
was
not
beautiful
according
to
accepted
standards
,
but
who
had
something
more
than
beauty
to
enravish
a
proud
and
unbelieving
soul
--
here
,
as
my
thoughts
ran
on
,
I
was
conscious
of
a
foolish
sense
of
jealousy
--
why
should
he
choose
Mavis
,
I
thought
,
out
of
all
women
in
the
world
?
Could
he
not
leave
her
in
peace
with
her
dreams
,
her
books
and
her
flowers
?
--
safe
under
the
pure
,
wise
,
impassive
gaze
of
Pallas
Athene
,
whose
cool
brows
were
never
fevered
by
a
touch
of
passion
?
Something
more
than
curiosity
now
impelled
me
to
listen
,
and
I
cautiously
advanced
a
step
or
two
towards
the
shadow
of
a
broad
elm
where
I
could
see
without
being
seen
.
Yes
,
there
was
Rimânez
--
standing
erect
with
folded
arms
,
his
dark
,
sad
,
inscrutable
eyes
fixed
on
Mavis
,
who
stood
opposite
to
him
a
few
paces
off
,
looking
at
him
in
her
turn
with
an
expression
of
mingled
fascination
and
fear
.
"
I
have
asked
you
Mavis
Clare
,
"
--
said
Lucio
slowly
--
"
to
let
me
serve
you
.
You
have
genius
--
a
rare
quality
in
a
woman
--
and
I
would
advance
your
fortunes
.
I
should
not
be
what
I
am
if
I
did
not
try
to
persuade
you
to
let
me
help
on
your
career
.
You
are
not
rich
--
I
could
show
you
how
to
become
so
.
You
have
a
great
fame
--
that
I
grant
;
but
you
have
many
enemies
and
slanderers
who
are
for
ever
trying
to
pull
you
down
from
the
throne
you
have
won
.
I
could
bring
these
to
your
feet
,
and
make
them
your
slaves
.
With
your
intellectual
power
,
your
personal
grace
and
gifts
of
temperament
,
I
could
,
if
you
would
let
me
guide
you
,
give
you
such
far-reaching
influence
as
no
woman
has
possessed
in
this
century
.
I
am
no
boaster
--
I
can
do
what
I
say
and
more
;
and
I
ask
nothing
from
you
in
return
except
that
you
should
follow
my
advice
implicitly
.
My
advice
,
let
me
tell
you
is
not
difficult
to
follow
;
most
people
find
it
easy
!
"
His
expression
of
face
,
I
thought
,
was
very
singular
as
he
spoke
--
it
was
so
haggard
,
dreary
and
woe-begone
that
one
might
have
imagined
he
was
making
some
proposal
that
was
particularly
repugnant
to
him
,
instead
of
offering
to
perform
the
benevolent
action
of
helping
a
hard-working
literary
woman
to
achieve
greater
wealth
and
distinction
.
I
waited
expectantly
for
Mavis
to
reply
.
"
You
are
very
good
,
Prince
Rimânez
,
"
she
said
,
after
a
little
pause
--
"
to
take
any
thought
for
me
at
all
.
I
can
not
imagine
why
you
should
do
so
;
for
I
am
really
nothing
to
you
.
I
have
of
course
heard
from
Mr
Tempest
of
your
great
wealth
and
influence
,
and
I
have
no
doubt
you
mean
kindly
.
But
I
have
never
owed
anything
to
any
one
--
no
one
has
ever
helped
me
--
I
have
helped
myself
,
and
still
prefer
to
do
so
.
And
really
I
have
nothing
to
wish
for
--
except
--
when
the
time
comes
--
a
happy
death
.
It
is
true
I
am
not
rich
--
but
then
I
do
not
want
to
be
rich
.
I
would
not
be
the
possessor
of
wealth
for
all
the
world
!
To
be
surrounded
with
sycophants
and
flatterers
--
never
to
be
able
to
distinguish
false
friends
from
true
--
to
be
loved
for
what
you
have
and
not
for
what
you
are
!
--
oh
no
,
it
would
be
misery
to
me
.
And
I
have
never
craved
for
power
--
except
perhaps
the
power
to
win
love
.
And
that
I
have
--
many
people
love
my
books
,
and
through
my
books
love
me
--
I
feel
their
love
,
though
I
may
never
see
or
know
them
personally
.
But
I
am
so
conscious
of
their
sympathy
that
I
love
them
in
return
without
the
necessity
of
personal
acquaintance
.
They
have
hearts
which
respond
to
my
heart
--
that
is
all
the
power
I
care
about
.
"
"
You
forget
your
numerous
enemies
!
"
said
Lucio
,
still
morosely
regarding
her
.
