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"
I
'm
sorry
,
"
said
he
,
"
very
sorry
,
but
my
readers
are
quite
unanimous
.
From
what
I
can
learn
,
it
seems
to
me
you
have
been
too
earnest
.
And
also
,
rather
sarcastic
in
certain
strictures
against
society
.
My
dear
fellow
,
that
wo
n't
do
.
Never
blame
society
--
it
buys
books
!
Now
if
you
could
write
a
smart
love-story
,
slightly
risqué
--
even
a
little
more
than
risqué
for
that
matter
;
that
is
the
sort
of
thing
that
suits
the
present
age
.
"
"
Pardon
me
,
"
I
interposed
somewhat
wearily
--
"
but
are
you
sure
you
judge
the
public
taste
correctly
?
"
He
smiled
a
bland
smile
of
indulgent
amusement
at
what
he
no
doubt
considered
my
ignorance
in
putting
such
a
query
.
"
Of
course
I
am
sure
,
"
--
he
replied
--
"
It
is
my
business
to
know
the
public
taste
as
thoroughly
as
I
know
my
own
pocket
.
Understand
me
--
I
do
n't
suggest
that
you
should
write
a
book
on
any
positively
indecent
subject
--
that
can
be
safely
left
to
the
'
New
'
woman
,
"
--
and
he
laughed
--
"
but
I
assure
you
high-class
fiction
does
n't
sell
.
The
critics
do
n't
like
it
,
to
begin
with
.
What
goes
down
with
them
and
with
the
public
is
a
bit
of
sensational
realism
told
in
terse
newspaper
English
.
Literary
English
--
Addisonian
English
--
is
a
mistake
.
"
"
And
I
am
also
a
mistake
I
think
,
"
I
said
with
a
forced
smile
--
"
At
any
rate
if
what
you
say
be
true
,
I
must
lay
down
the
pen
and
try
another
trade
.
I
am
old-fashioned
enough
to
consider
Literature
as
the
highest
of
all
professions
,
and
I
would
rather
not
join
in
with
those
who
voluntarily
degrade
it
.
"
He
gave
me
a
quick
side-glance
of
mingled
incredulity
and
depreciation
.
"
Well
,
well
!
"
he
finally
observed
--
"
you
are
a
little
quixotic
.
That
will
wear
off
.
Will
you
come
on
to
my
club
and
dine
with
me
?
"
I
refused
this
invitation
promptly
.
I
knew
the
man
saw
and
recognised
my
wretched
plight
--
and
pride
--
false
pride
if
you
will
--
rose
up
to
my
rescue
.
I
bade
him
a
hurried
good-day
,
and
started
back
to
my
lodging
,
carrying
my
rejected
manuscript
with
me
.
Arrived
there
,
my
landlady
met
me
as
I
was
about
to
ascend
the
stairs
,
and
asked
me
whether
I
would
'
kindly
settle
accounts
'
the
next
day
.
She
spoke
civilly
enough
,
poor
soul
,
and
not
without
a
certain
compassionate
hesitation
in
her
manner
.
Her
evident
pity
for
me
galled
my
spirit
as
much
as
the
publisher
's
offer
of
a
dinner
had
wounded
my
pride
--
and
with
a
perfectly
audacious
air
of
certainty
I
at
once
promised
her
the
money
at
the
time
she
herself
appointed
,
though
I
had
not
the
least
idea
where
or
how
I
should
get
the
required
sum
.
Once
past
her
,
and
shut
in
my
own
room
,
I
flung
my
useless
manuscript
on
the
floor
and
myself
into
a
chair
,
and
--
swore
.
It
refreshed
me
to
swear
,
and
it
seemed
natural
--
for
though
temporarily
weakened
by
lack
of
food
,
I
was
not
yet
so
weak
as
to
shed
tears
--
and
a
fierce
formidable
oath
was
to
me
the
same
sort
of
physical
relief
which
I
imagine
a
fit
of
weeping
may
be
to
an
excitable
woman
.
Just
as
I
could
not
shed
tears
,
so
was
I
incapable
of
apostrophizing
God
in
my
despair
.
To
speak
frankly
,
I
did
not
believe
in
any
God
--
then
.
I
was
to
myself
an
all-sufficing
mortal
,
scorning
the
time-worn
superstitions
of
so-called
religion
.
Of
course
I
had
been
brought
up
in
the
Christian
faith
;
but
that
creed
had
become
worse
than
useless
to
me
since
I
had
intellectually
realized
the
utter
inefficiency
of
Christian
ministers
to
deal
with
difficult
life-problems
.
Spiritually
I
was
adrift
in
chaos
--
mentally
I
was
hindered
both
in
thought
and
achievement
--
bodily
,
I
was
reduced
to
want
.
My
case
was
desperate
--
I
myself
was
desperate
.
It
was
a
moment
when
if
ever
good
and
evil
angels
play
a
game
of
chance
for
a
man
's
soul
,
they
were
surely
throwing
the
dice
on
the
last
wager
for
mine
.
And
yet
,
with
it
all
,
I
felt
I
had
done
my
best
.
I
was
driven
into
a
corner
by
my
fellow-men
who
grudged
me
space
to
live
in
,
but
I
had
fought
against
it
.
I
had
worked
honestly
and
patiently
;
--
all
to
no
purpose
.
I
knew
of
rogues
who
gained
plenty
of
money
;
and
of
knaves
who
were
amassing
large
fortunes
.
Their
prosperity
appeared
to
prove
that
honesty
after
all
was
not
the
best
policy
.
What
should
I
do
then
?
How
should
I
begin
the
jesuitical
business
of
committing
evil
that
good
,
personal
good
,
might
come
of
it
?
So
I
thought
,
dully
,
if
such
stray
half-stupefied
fancies
as
I
was
capable
of
,
deserved
the
name
of
thought
.
