Скорбь сатаны/The Tribulation of Satan (Мари Корелли). Страница 134 из 279

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I

met

the

questioning

glance

of

her

eyes

--

beautiful

,

lustrous

eyes

as

clear

and

pure

as

light

itself

.

"

I

shall

never

change

,

Sibyl

,

"

I

answered

--

"

I

love

you

--

I

shall

always

love

you

.

But

I

wish

you

would

not

analyse

yourself

so

pitilessly

--

you

have

such

strange

ideas

--

"

"

You

think

them

strange

?

"

she

said

--

"

You

should

not

--

in

these

'

new

women

'

days

!

I

believe

that

,

thanks

to

newspapers

,

magazines

and

'

decadent

'

novels

,

I

am

in

all

respects

eminently

fitted

to

be

a

wife

!

"

and

she

laughed

bitterly

--

"

There

is

nothing

in

the

rôle

of

marriage

that

I

do

not

know

,

though

I

am

not

yet

twenty

.

I

have

been

prepared

for

a

long

time

to

be

sold

to

the

highest

bidder

,

and

what

few

silly

notions

I

had

about

love

--

the

love

of

the

poets

and

idealists

--

when

I

was

a

dreamy

child

at

Willowsmere

,

are

all

dispersed

and

ended

.

Ideal

love

is

dead

--

and

worse

than

dead

,

being

out

of

fashion

.

Carefully

instructed

as

I

have

been

in

the

worthlessness

of

everything

but

money

,

you

can

scarcely

be

surprised

at

my

speaking

of

myself

as

an

object

of

sale

.

Marriage

for

me

is

a

sale

,

as

far

as

my

father

is

concerned

--

for

you

know

well

enough

that

however

much

you

loved

me

or

I

loved

you

,

he

would

never

allow

me

to

marry

you

if

you

were

not

rich

,

and

richer

than

most

men

.

Отключить рекламу

I

want

you

to

feel

that

I

fully

recognize

the

nature

of

the

bargain

struck

;

and

I

ask

you

not

to

expect

a

girl

's

fresh

,

confiding

love

from

a

woman

as

warped

in

heart

and

mind

as

I

am

!

"

"

Sibyl

,

"

--

I

said

earnestly

--

"

You

wrong

yourself

;

I

am

sure

you

wrong

yourself

!

You

are

one

of

those

who

can

be

in

the

world

yet

not

of

it

;

your

mind

is

too

open

and

pure

to

be

sullied

,

even

by

contact

with

evil

things

.

I

will

believe

nothing

you

say

against

your

own

sweet

and

noble

character

--

and

,

Sibyl

,

let

me

again

ask

you

not

to

distress

me

by

this

constant

harping

on

the

subject

of

my

wealth

,

or

I

shall

be

inclined

to

look

upon

it

as

a

curse

--

I

should

love

you

as

much

if

I

were

poor

--

--

"

"

Oh

,

you

might

love

me

"

--

she

interrupted

me

,

with

a

strange

smile

--

"

but

you

would

not

dare

to

say

so

!

"

I

was

silent

.

Suddenly

she

laughed

,

and

linked

her

arms

caressingly

round

my

neck

.

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"

There

,

Geoffrey

!

"

she

said

--

"

I

have

finished

my

discourse

--

my

bit

of

Ibsenism

,

or

whatever

other

ism

affects

me

--

and

we

need

not

be

miserable

about

it

.

I

have

said

what

was

in

my

mind

;

I

have

told

you

the

truth

,

that

in

heart

I

am

neither

young

nor

innocent

.

But

I

am

no

worse

than

all

my

'

set

'

so

perhaps

you

had

better

make

the

best

of

me

.

I

please

your

fancy

,

do

I

not

?

"

"

My

love

for

you

can

not

be

so

lightly

expressed

,

Sibyl

!

"

I

answered

in

rather

a

pained

tone

.

"

Never

mind

--

it

is

my

humour

so

to

express

it

"

--

she

went

on

--

"

I

please

your

fancy

,

and

you

wish

to

marry

me

.

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