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She
felt
very
old
.
The
afternoon
's
events
had
drained
her
of
all
feeling
,
first
the
startling
news
about
the
taxes
,
then
Ashley
and
,
last
,
her
murderous
rage
at
Jonas
Wilkerson
.
No
,
there
was
no
emotion
left
in
her
.
If
all
her
capacity
to
feel
had
not
been
utterly
exhausted
,
something
in
her
would
have
protested
against
the
plan
taking
form
in
her
mind
,
for
she
hated
Rhett
as
she
hated
no
other
person
in
all
the
world
.
But
she
could
not
feel
.
She
could
only
think
and
her
thoughts
were
very
practical
.
"
I
said
some
terrible
things
to
him
that
night
when
he
deserted
us
on
the
road
,
but
I
can
make
him
forget
them
,
"
she
thought
contemptuously
,
still
sure
of
her
power
to
charm
.
"
Butter
wo
n't
melt
in
my
mouth
when
I
'm
around
him
.
I
'll
make
him
think
I
always
loved
him
and
was
just
upset
and
frightened
that
night
.
Oh
,
men
are
so
conceited
they
'll
believe
anything
that
flatters
them
...
I
must
never
let
him
dream
what
straits
we
're
in
,
not
till
I
've
got
him
.
Oh
,
he
must
n't
know
!
If
he
even
suspected
how
poor
we
are
,
he
'd
know
it
was
his
money
I
wanted
and
not
himself
.
After
all
,
there
's
no
way
he
could
know
,
for
even
Aunt
Pitty
does
n't
know
the
worst
.
And
after
I
've
married
him
,
he
'll
have
to
help
us
.
He
ca
n't
let
his
wife
's
people
starve
.
"
His
wife
.
Mrs.
Rhett
Butler
.
Something
of
repulsion
,
buried
deep
beneath
her
cold
thinking
,
stirred
faintly
and
then
was
stilled
.
She
remembered
the
embarrassing
and
disgusting
events
of
her
brief
honeymoon
with
Charles
,
his
fumbling
hands
,
his
awkwardness
,
his
incomprehensible
emotions
--
and
Wade
Hampton
.
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"
I
wo
n't
think
about
it
now
.
I
'll
bother
about
it
after
I
've
married
him
...
"
After
she
had
married
him
.
Memory
rang
a
bell
.
A
chill
went
down
her
spine
.
She
remembered
again
that
night
on
Aunt
Pitty
's
porch
,
remembered
how
she
asked
him
if
he
was
proposing
to
her
,
remembered
how
hatefully
he
had
laughed
and
said
:
"
My
dear
,
I
'm
not
a
marrying
man
.
"
Suppose
he
was
still
not
a
marrying
man
.
Suppose
despite
all
her
charms
and
wiles
,
he
refused
to
marry
her
.
Suppose
--
oh
,
terrible
thought
!
--
suppose
he
had
completely
forgotten
about
her
and
was
chasing
after
some
other
woman
.
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"
I
want
you
more
than
I
have
ever
wanted
any
woman
...
"
Scarlett
's
nails
dug
into
her
palms
as
she
clenched
her
fists
.
"
If
he
's
forgotten
me
,
I
'll
make
him
remember
me
.
I
'll
make
him
want
me
again
.
"
And
,
if
he
would
not
marry
her
but
still
wanted
her
,
there
was
a
way
to
get
the
money
.
After
all
,
he
had
once
asked
her
to
be
his
mistress
.