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He
had
left
home
only
to
escape
the
intricate
tangle
of
life
's
demands
that
enmeshed
him
,
and
which
in
his
present
condition
he
was
unable
to
unravel
.
He
had
gone
to
Joseph
Alexéevich
's
house
,
on
the
plea
of
sorting
the
deceased
's
books
and
papers
,
only
in
search
of
rest
from
life
's
turmoil
,
for
in
his
mind
the
memory
of
Joseph
Alexéevich
was
connected
with
a
world
of
eternal
,
solemn
,
and
calm
thoughts
,
quite
contrary
to
the
restless
confusion
into
which
he
felt
himself
being
drawn
.
He
sought
a
quiet
refuge
,
and
in
Joseph
Alexéevich
's
study
he
really
found
it
.
When
he
sat
with
his
elbows
on
the
dusty
writing
table
in
the
deathlike
stillness
of
the
study
,
calm
and
significant
memories
of
the
last
few
days
rose
one
after
another
in
his
imagination
,
particularly
of
the
battle
of
Borodinó
and
of
that
vague
sense
of
his
own
insignificance
and
insincerity
compared
with
the
truth
,
simplicity
,
and
strength
of
the
class
of
men
he
mentally
classed
as
they
.
When
Gerásim
roused
him
from
his
reverie
the
idea
occurred
to
him
of
taking
part
in
the
popular
defense
of
Moscow
which
he
knew
was
projected
.
And
with
that
object
he
had
asked
Gerásim
to
get
him
a
peasant
's
coat
and
a
pistol
,
confiding
to
him
his
intentions
of
remaining
in
Joseph
Alexéevich
's
house
and
keeping
his
name
secret
.
Then
during
the
first
day
spent
in
inaction
and
solitude
(
he
tried
several
times
to
fix
his
attention
on
the
Masonic
manuscripts
,
but
was
unable
to
do
so
)
the
idea
that
had
previously
occurred
to
him
of
the
cabalistic
significance
of
his
name
in
connection
with
Bonaparte
's
more
than
once
vaguely
presented
itself
.
But
the
idea
that
he
,
L'russe
Besuhof
,
was
destined
to
set
a
limit
to
the
power
of
the
Beast
was
as
yet
only
one
of
the
fancies
that
often
passed
through
his
mind
and
left
no
trace
behind
.
When
,
having
bought
the
coat
merely
with
the
object
of
taking
part
among
the
people
in
the
defense
of
Moscow
,
Pierre
had
met
the
Rostóvs
and
Natásha
had
said
to
him
:
"
Are
you
remaining
in
Moscow
?
...
How
splendid
!
"
the
thought
flashed
into
his
mind
that
it
really
would
be
a
good
thing
,
even
if
Moscow
were
taken
,
for
him
to
remain
there
and
do
what
he
was
predestined
to
do
.
Next
day
,
with
the
sole
idea
of
not
sparing
himself
and
not
lagging
in
any
way
behind
them
,
Pierre
went
to
the
Three
Hills
gate
.
But
when
he
returned
to
the
house
convinced
that
Moscow
would
not
be
defended
,
he
suddenly
felt
that
what
before
had
seemed
to
him
merely
a
possibility
had
now
become
absolutely
necessary
and
inevitable
.
He
must
remain
in
Moscow
,
concealing
his
name
,
and
must
meet
Napoleon
and
kill
him
,
and
either
perish
or
put
an
end
to
the
misery
of
all
Europe
--
which
it
seemed
to
him
was
solely
due
to
Napoleon
.
Pierre
knew
all
the
details
of
the
attempt
on
Bonaparte
's
life
in
1809
by
a
German
student
in
Vienna
,
and
knew
that
the
student
had
been
shot
.
And
the
risk
to
which
he
would
expose
his
life
by
carrying
out
his
design
excited
him
still
more
.
Two
equally
strong
feelings
drew
Pierre
irresistibly
to
this
purpose
.
The
first
was
a
feeling
of
the
necessity
of
sacrifice
and
suffering
in
view
of
the
common
calamity
,
the
same
feeling
that
had
caused
him
to
go
to
Mozháysk
on
the
twenty-fifth
and
to
make
his
way
to
the
very
thick
of
the
battle
and
had
now
caused
him
to
run
away
from
his
home
and
,
in
place
of
the
luxury
and
comfort
to
which
he
was
accustomed
,
to
sleep
on
a
hard
sofa
without
undressing
and
eat
the
same
food
as
Gerásim
.
The
other
was
that
vague
and
quite
Russian
feeling
of
contempt
for
everything
conventional
,
artificial
,
and
human
--
for
everything
the
majority
of
men
regard
as
the
greatest
good
in
the
world
.
Pierre
had
first
experienced
this
strange
and
fascinating
feeling
at
the
Slobóda
Palace
,
when
he
had
suddenly
felt
that
wealth
,
power
,
and
life
--
all
that
men
so
painstakingly
acquire
and
guard
--
if
it
has
any
worth
has
so
only
by
reason
of
the
joy
with
which
it
can
all
be
renounced
.
It
was
the
feeling
that
induces
a
volunteer
recruit
to
spend
his
last
penny
on
drink
,
and
a
drunken
man
to
smash
mirrors
or
glasses
for
no
apparent
reason
and
knowing
that
it
will
cost
him
all
the
money
he
possesses
:
the
feeling
which
causes
a
man
to
perform
actions
which
from
an
ordinary
point
of
view
are
insane
,
to
test
,
as
it
were
,
his
personal
power
and
strength
,
affirming
the
existence
of
a
higher
,
nonhuman
criterion
of
life
.
From
the
very
day
Pierre
had
experienced
this
feeling
for
the
first
time
at
the
Slobóda
Palace
he
had
been
continuously
under
its
influence
,
but
only
now
found
full
satisfaction
for
it
.
Moreover
,
at
this
moment
Pierre
was
supported
in
his
design
and
prevented
from
renouncing
it
by
what
he
had
already
done
in
that
direction
.
If
he
were
now
to
leave
Moscow
like
everyone
else
,
his
flight
from
home
,
the
peasant
coat
,
the
pistol
,
and
his
announcement
to
the
Rostóvs
that
he
would
remain
in
Moscow
would
all
become
not
merely
meaningless
but
contemptible
and
ridiculous
,
and
to
this
Pierre
was
very
sensitive
.
Pierre
's
physical
condition
,
as
is
always
the
case
,
corresponded
to
his
mental
state
.
The
unaccustomed
coarse
food
,
the
vodka
he
drank
during
those
days
,
the
absence
of
wine
and
cigars
,
his
dirty
unchanged
linen
,
two
almost
sleepless
nights
passed
on
a
short
sofa
without
bedding
--
all
this
kept
him
in
a
state
of
excitement
bordering
on
insanity
.
