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- Колин Маккалоу
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- Стр. 534/535
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And
there
's
absolutely
nothing
you
can
do
about
it
,
do
n't
you
understand
?
I
'm
not
insulting
you
by
trying
to
pretend
I
'm
perfectly
happy
.
Such
is
n't
the
human
condition
.
But
if
you
think
we
here
on
Drogheda
spend
our
days
weeping
and
wailing
,
you
're
quite
wrong
.
We
enjoy
our
days
,
and
one
of
the
main
reasons
why
is
that
our
lights
for
you
still
burn
.
Dane
's
light
is
gone
forever
.
Please
,
dear
Justine
,
try
to
accept
that
.
Come
home
to
Drogheda
by
all
means
,
we
'd
love
to
see
you
.
But
not
for
good
.
You
'd
never
be
happy
settled
here
permanently
.
It
is
not
only
a
needless
sacrifice
for
you
to
make
,
but
a
useless
one
.
In
your
sort
of
career
,
even
a
year
spent
away
from
it
would
cost
you
dearly
.
So
stay
where
you
belong
,
be
a
good
citizen
of
your
world
.
The
pain
.
It
was
like
those
first
few
days
after
Dane
died
.
The
same
sort
of
futile
,
wasted
,
unavoidable
pain
.
The
same
anguished
impotence
.
No
,
of
course
there
was
nothing
she
could
do
.
No
way
of
making
up
,
no
way
.
Scream
!
The
kettle
was
whistling
already
.
Hush
,
kettle
,
hush
!
Hush
for
Mummy
!
How
does
it
feel
to
be
Mummy
's
only
child
,
kettle
?
Ask
Justine
,
she
knows
.
Yes
,
Justine
knows
all
about
being
the
only
child
.
But
I
'm
not
the
child
she
wants
,
that
poor
fading
old
woman
back
on
the
ranch
.
Oh
,
Mum
!
Oh
,
Mum
...
Do
you
think
if
I
humanly
could
,
I
would
n't
?
New
lamps
for
old
,
my
life
for
his
!
It
is
n't
fair
,
that
Dane
was
the
one
to
die
...
She
's
right
.
My
going
back
to
Drogheda
ca
n't
alter
the
fact
that
he
never
can
.
Though
he
lies
there
forever
,
he
never
can
A
light
has
gone
out
,
and
I
ca
n't
rekindle
it
.
But
I
see
what
she
means
.
My
light
still
burns
in
her
.
Only
not
on
Drogheda
.
*
*
*
Fritz
answered
the
door
,
not
clad
in
his
smart
navy
chauffeur
's
uniform
,
clad
in
his
smart
butler
's
morning
suit
instead
.
But
as
he
smiled
,
bowed
stiffly
and
clicked
his
heels
in
good
old-fashioned
German
manner
,
a
thought
occurred
to
Justine
;
did
he
do
double
duty
in
Bonn
,
too
?
"
Are
you
simply
Herr
Hartheim
's
humble
servant
,
Fritz
,
or
are
you
really
his
watchdog
?
"
she
asked
,
handing
him
her
coat
.
Fritz
remained
impassive
.
"
Herr
Hartheim
is
in
his
study
,
Miss
O'Neill
.
"
He
was
sitting
looking
at
the
fire
,
leaning
a
little
forward
,
Natasha
curled
sleeping
on
the
hearth
.
When
the
door
opened
he
looked
up
,
but
did
n't
speak
,
did
n't
seem
glad
to
see
her
.
